12 April 2007

Goodbye

GH died last night at 8:00.

I went to an appointment at 1:30. Before I left, I kissed GH goodbye and told him I loved him. He kissed me back, and although he could not speak by then, I'm sure he knew who I was. By the time I returned from my appointment, he no longer recognized me, or anyone. He couldn't even open his eyes.

I picked the twins up from daycare at 4:30, and my mom and I fed them their dinner and played with them in the living room with the door to the bedroom open so that GH could hear them laughing and full of joy. The twins were in bed by 7:15. Once they went to bed, I curled up with GH and stayed with him until he died.

I'm so sad on so many levels. I'm sad for GH, myself, and the twins for all the things we won't get to do as a foursome. I'm sad for the world at large for the loss of an incredible man. But he doesn't have cancer anymore. He's not sick anymore. And while the end came so incredibly quickly, we had said what needed to be said and he knew how intensely I loved him, which is the most important thing.

I miss you, Love. I always will.

360 comments:

1 – 200 of 360   Newer›   Newest»
mMm said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts. Your husband sounds like an incredible man, and an incredible father, and a complete stranger is mourning with you right now.

Stephanie said...

I am very sorry for your loss. Best of luck to you and your twins.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, and wish you peace and strength to get through the times ahead. I mourn for your wonderful husband.

Claudia said...

I am so sorry. Your family will be in my prayers. Although you and your family will miss him dearly, I hope you find comfort in the thought that he is no longer in pain.

Menita said...

I am so sorry. I wish I could convey to you the full weight of those words; my heart is so heavy for you right now.
I have no idea what on earth I could do for you and yours but if you think of something, you have only to say the word.
I am mourning with you.

Yankee T said...

Sobbing for you and Maddie and Riley. Feeling peace for GH.
I send you my love as always, and then some.

I hope to see you before too long.

I'm sorry, Snick, so very sorry.

Sam said...

I am so sorry. Keep your babies close, they will give you comfort.

brianna said...

I am so sorry. I wish it had been different for all of you.

I wish cancer had never been a part of your lives.

amber said...

I just found your blog (through a post on another message board), but all I can say is I am so so sorry for your loss. My heart is just breaking for you right now. While you and GH may not be religious, you and your entire family will still be in my thoughts and prayers. All the best for you and your twins.

Klynn said...

Oh, Snick...I'm so sorry. I know he's watching over you and the babies, now. Find comfort where you can, and know that we're here for you. If you ever want to talk, I'm just an email and a phone call away (If you want my phone number, just let me know). Thinking of you, sending tons of love.

Anonymous said...

They can rip the words defining love right out of the dictionary and put in a picture of you holding your GH until the end.

Please accept my sympathies.

Kathleen

Anonymous said...

I am so so sorry! My prayers are with you and your family.

Much love,
XOXO
Isabel

Anonymous said...

I wish I could express what I am feeling for you and your family. You are amazing, I just don't have the words...God Bless and know you are all loved and cared for.
Cindy

ERC said...

I am very sorry to hear about your loss.

Monica said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

Anonymous said...

I have been reading your blog for a few months and just want to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I will pray for you and your beautiful children. I wish there was something I could say to ease your pain. I wish you peace.

Maureen

Sarah said...

Oh, I am so sorry. No words fit - but know we are all thinking of you. GH was obviously amazing, and you have an amazing outlook on life.
I am in the Boston area, and can help you if you need anything - just ask.

Sending my thoughts and love,
Sarah

Angus said...

I'm so so sorry.

frostine99 said...

Oh, Snick, I am so profoundly sorry. You guys are on my mind constantly. GH was obviously an amazing man, and I'm sad for the the world, too.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry, snick. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Much Love, Val

Anonymous said...

There's really nothing anyone can say. I hope it's some comfort to know that we're all out here thinking of you. Just do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself and the kids. Everyone else can take of themselves.

Rachel said...

I'm thinking of you, and praying for peace and comfort for you.

Anonymous said...

My prayers are with you and your family.

Christine said...

I'm sitting at my desk crying. Oh, Snick. I am so sorry. I am so filled with joy, though, that you were there as he passed into the beyond.

I wanted to share this with you:

What Cancer Cannot Do

Cancer is so limited...

It cannot cripple love
It cannot shatter hope
It cannot corrode faith
It cannot destroy peace
It cannot kill friendship
It cannot suppress memories
It cannot silence courage
It cannot invade the soul
It cannot steal eternal life
It cannot conquer the spirit.

All my love to you and the twins.

buddha_girl said...

All of the love from the Buddha sisters is coming your way. Knowing that he heard the laughter from his babies during his last moments only further solidifies my belief that you are a giving, thoughtful, and most loving wife.

Much love,
BG

thrice said...

I came over from Tertia's blog. I'm sorry for your loss. GH and you have a beautiful relationship.

BrooklynGirl said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Your courage and grace have been inspiring.

Schnozz said...

I hope it was as peaceful as it could be. I take comfort that he's not sick anymore, but ache for your family.

terri c said...

came over from Tertia's. hoping it helps to know that another stranger is thinking of you. so desperately sorry for the appalling loss.

bg's Little Sis said...

I cannot say how sad I am for this loss for all of you...I can only hope that the love and support you feel here brings you some small amount of peace.

-lil'sis

Holly said...

I am so sorry. There are no words. I only even learned of you yesterday, from Linda (Indigo Girl). I read back through many of your entries and was filled with sadness for you and your children.

May you find your way to the peace your husband surely wants for you.

I'll be praying for you and your family.

Anonymous said...

my deepest sympathies.

LCT said...

Crying for you here, my friend. I'm relieved that his passing was peaceful, and that you both got to say what needed to be said.

I'm here if you need me. Anytime. Always.

Mia C. said...

I am so very sorry. I can't imagine what you're going through. Let us know if you need anything.

God, I hate cancer.

Janice said...

Praise God that GH's Cancer is now gone. He is whole again and walking in perfect peace. I wish you that peace also.

Emma B. said...

I'm thinking about and praying for you and your family.

Busy Mom said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Kellie said...

I wish you peace and I admire your strength. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Meira said...

I am so, so sorry. I think it's beautiful that you were holding him.

Mixter said...

I am very sorry for your loss. I wish your husband peace, and I hope that time heals some of your sadness and that the happy memories shall eventually prevail.

Mixter

Dorcasina said...

So fast. So awfully, awfully fast. I am crying with you, and for you. I am glad you were there; that you were able to show him how much you loved him; that he knew and felt your love as he left this place of pain.

Damn. Damn. Damn.

We are with you in these next impossible steps, which you will take, even if you don't know how.

I am picturing your GH and mine together, sharing stories of their beloved children.
with love and tears--so, so many tears.

Hoping said...

I am so sorry. He sounds like an incredible man that will live on forever with you and the twins. God Bless

Pilgrim/Heretic said...

Much love, support, sympathy and tears from a longtime lurker.

kim said...

Snickollet, we're sending our deepest sympathies your way. I am so sorry that this happened but thankful that you and the twins were with him at the end. Please post if there's anything we can do to help you at this time.

cc said...

I am so very sorry for your loss, you and your children are in my prayers.

Monika said...

I am so sorry for your loss. You are an unbelievable person! I'm sure your GH is very proud of you! You and your family are in my prayers!

sparklykatt said...

There are no words for me to truly express how sorry I am for your loss.

Please know that there are so many "strangers" out here that have you and your family in their thoughts and prayers.

It was just two days ago that another blog led me to yours, yet I still sit at my desk at work crying like a baby for you and your family.

honglien123 said...

You have my sympathies, Snickollet. He must have been an incredible man to have deserved so much love and devotion. Like you say, "he doesn't have cancer anymore. He's not sick anymore." He's not in pain anymore. Now there can only be peace. May you and your family somehow find peace and comfort.

AmyinMotown said...

I came here from Indigo Girl. I just started reading and haven't been able to stop. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved GH. He must have been quite an amazing man. Praying for him, for you and for your children.

Mama Nabi said...

Although I know no words that can make a difference and all I can offer are tears and cyber hugs, I want to let you know that I and, obviously, all these others are here for you... If there's anything I can do...

I am so sorry.

Heather said...

I am very sorry for your loss. I am holding you and your family in my thoughts today.

kathy a said...

oh, snickollet. i am so very sorry. he was a wonderful man, and he died in peace with your love all around him. xoxoxo

The McMommy said...

I am so sad for you. he must have been amazing because he picked you.

lala said...

there are no words, only moans from my heart.....

Heidi said...

I have been thinking of you and your family a lot the past few days. Your obvious and enduring love for your husband and the unbelievable unfairness of this whole situation has certainly made me softer with my loved ones.

I am indescribably sorry.

Anonymous said...

I am sending you and your children hugs. I hope you have the love and support of family and friends in the weeks and months to come. The path you have been thrust on is very difficult, with a lot of backtracking. Please take care of yourself. I will leave you with my son's year three memoriam, with the hope that it brings you some peace in the years ahead.

There are things we don't want to happen but have to accept; truths we don't want to know but have to learn; people we can't live without but have to let go... You may not think the world needed you, but it did. For you were unique: like no one that has ever been before or will come after. No one can speak with your voice; say your piece; smile your smile; or shine your light. No one can take your place for it was yours alone to fill. Because you are not here to shine your light, who knows how many travellers will lose their way as they try to pass by your empty place in the darkness... There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real...

My condolences to you, please know that someone who doesn't know you or your family is holding you close.

LeggyP said...

Again, I am so sorry, which feels just so inadequate to say. I wish he'd had more time, I wish the twins had the chance to get to know him better and be able to remember him, I wish so many things. I hope you find peace and comfort in your heart over these upcoming days, weeks, months and years.

Anonymous said...

I found your blog from another that I follow and I am so sorry for the loss of your GH. You are in my thoughts and prayers, today and many days to follow. How wonderful you had the time to say the things you did to each other and that your GH died surrounded by the love of those that meant the most to him. That carried him to a better place where he now rests in peace. God Bless you and yours and thanks for sharing your world. Thinking of you in Saint Louis...

Katie W said...

I'm so sorry for you, sorry that this had to happen to you, and to anyone, no one deserves this to happen to them. I'm grateful you had the time you got, and glad that GH's suffering is over.

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you, the twins, and GH. (And even Dinner, the cat.)

With warmth and sympathy.
K

Heather said...

I just want to add my words along so many others. We all feel this sorrow. You're right, the world lost a good man. I have you in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so sorry for your loss.

mijk said...

I am so sorry for your loss and for the loss your children have to face so young... Don't really know what to say more then this.

Me said...

I've been checking your blog every couple hours, wondering what was happening and how you are doing. You have no idea who I am, but I feel connected to you and your husband, through your writing and beautiful descriptions of your family. I so wish I had words that could make you feel better. All I can say is what I told my two little boys when a family member died recently; Those of us left here are incredibly sad, and we cry and mourn because we miss the person who died. But right now he is experiencing a happiness far beyond what we can even imagine. My mother died when I was 20 years old. A few hours before she passed, I asked her what she was feeling. She responded that she was feeling peaceful (for the first time in many years), and that the thought of what she was about to experience was awesome (not in the slang sense, but in the literal sense...awe-inspiring). She was not a religious zealot, but she had such a strong sense that she was going someplace wonderful. Her only unhappiness lay in the fact that she was worried about how I would handle her death. It sounds as though your husband felt the same peace before he died. Please know that you are very much in the thoughts of many, many people, and you are not alone.

Just another Jenny said...

I am here via Tertia's blog. I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband and best friend.

midlife mommy said...

So very, very sorry. Peace to you and your family, and the strength to get you through it all.

Amnesia said...

I am so so sorry. This world will miss your husband, he sounds like he was wonderful...and wonderful people leave an impression that lives on.

We are here for you...

Nanette said...

I, too, am very sorry for your loss. Cancer is a horrific disease and no one should ever have to deal with it.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry. I will be thinking of you often.....

Lori said...

I'm so very very sorry.

ccw said...

I am so very sorry.

Rev Dr Mom said...

Snick, I am so, so sorry. My heart breaks for you and your family.

Your last paragraph about GH was really beautiful, and says a lot.

Take care, friend.

Iselyahna said...

Oh God... I am so sorry. So very, very sorry...

Erin said...

I am so very, very sorry. I can't even express it. GH sounded like an amazing man and I'm so sorry he isn't with you anymore.

Courtney said...

I am just so, so sorry.

Shelly said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Know we are sending prayers of peace and comfort to you and your family.

jo(e) said...

Crying here, even though you don't know me.

Nik said...

I'm so sorry. It's so soon.

Cass said...

Came by way of Emmie and Linda.

I am so sorry for your loss, and holding you and the babies in my thoughts. (And sending a little thank you to the universe for the blessing of hospice care in times like these.)

Anonymous said...

I am sorry too.

Lisa said...

I'm so deeply sorry. If I could I would throw a big ball of strength all the way across the country to you. But I know that you have enough of your own. And, yes, I'm glad he doesn't have cancer anymore.

Whitney said...

Here via Tertia's blog to tell you how very sorry I am for your loss. I will remember you in my prayers.

Kristin said...

Delurking twin mom here...just wanted to let you know that you and your precious babies are in my thoughts. My heart aches for you.

Maggie said...

More hugs and prayers from this stranger. As someone said earlier, cancer can't kill love. Death can't kill love, not the love between you and GH and not the love that is headed your way from the blogosphere. So sad for you and for the babes.

Kimberly said...

I don't know what to say other than I am so incredibly sorry. Heartbreaking.

cindy said...

I am so, so very sorry.

liz said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm thinking of you and your family.

haitch pee said...

i wish there were something more adequate than i'm so, so very sorry for your loss and for the twins, too.

wavybrains said...

I too wish there were better words than "I'm sorry." But, I am, so, so sorry. I'm thinking of you.

sillychick said...

I, too, am sorry for your loss. I have no other words.

Anonymous said...

Here by way of a mutual blogging friend. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I'm a complete stranger but found myself welling up with tears.

Tertia said...

I am so, so sorry. My heart is aching for you.

with all my love
Tertia

laura said...

Oh God. Too soon. Too sad.

Anonymous said...

I'll add my voice to the Greek chorus -- I am SO sorry for your loss and hope that your memories and wonderful children get you through this horrific time. You'll be in my thoughts.

Stacey

Anonymous said...

my wife Marie-Baguette pointed me to your blog a little while ago and I just wanted to convey our deepest sympathies to you and your twins.

Suz said...

I'm so sorry and am mourning your loss of GH.

Pronoia said...

I'm so, so sorry.

Prof Mama said...

I'm so sorry for you and the babies. What you, Dorcasina, and Badger--and so many others--have gone through is so unfair.

I am glad you were with him at the end and that nothing went unsaid.

Anonymous said...

Oh Snick, there are no words to tell you how sorry I am. What a wonderful, loving ending you gave him. Jill

Rachel said...

Found your blog through Dr. Mamma and just want to say how very sorry I am for your loss. I cannot imagine what you must be feeling or dealing with, but I know it must be very very difficult.

My thought and prayers are with you and your babies and your families.

Casey said...

Wishing you peace and strength.

Heather said...

I'm so sorry. There just aren't words to describe it.

DeadBug said...

I found your blog just today through a blog friend, and cannot stop this stream of tears. I am deeply sorry and wish you strength and joyous memories of your beloved GH.

--Bugs

Anonymous said...

So quick. I am so sorry for your loss. I have a Riley too and we are thinking of your family.

liz

Angela said...

GH's last moments were filled with the sound of his children's laughter and his wife's loving touch, he was surrounded by love, peace and warmth. You are in my thoughts and prayers and your strength and spirit are my inspiration to stop worrying about the little stuff and truly appreciate what I have.

spztckttn said...

I'm so very sorry for the loss you and your family are dealing with. Your family will be in my thoughts.

Melany aka Supermom said...

I'm so very very sorry for your loss

Lena said...

I am so terribly sorry and very saddned. How unfair, just unfair ...

ShabbyDoll said...

Snickollet, you have a whole household of people who are thinking of you. I am sending a special message to my dad to be one of the loving throng who greet GH as he arrives in the great beyond.

Chelsea said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. May you and your family be blessed and taken care of in this time of sorrow.

Amy said...

I found your blog this morning via Indigo Girl and I've read every post in the archives. I am so sorry for your loss.

Linda said...

I am so sorry for everything you've lost~now and in the future.

Kris :) said...

I am so sorry that you and your family must go through this. My prayers will continue to be with you all.

Anna said...

Read about you on another blog. I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Elizabeth said...

thinking of you and yours....

Kay said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like his passing was peaceful, and far too soon. Peace to you and yours.

Thalia said...

Snickollet, I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Super B's Mom said...

I am incredibly sorry for your loss. I pray that you find peace. It sounds as if the world indeed lost an incredible man.

Each time you look at your children - he will be with you.

Anonymous said...

I am here via Doctor Mama and Tertia and know that there is nothing a total stranger, or anyone else, can say that will ease your pain. Hoping only that knowing that others care will somehow make the days to come a little easier.

Thinking of all of you,
(another) Karen

Liz said...

Thinking of your family at this difficult time. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Anonymous said...

I hate cancer. HATE HATE HATE cancer!

I am terribly sorry. I'll never forget your story.

Stay strong--you are so brave!

squab said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
squab said...

I don't even know you except from reading the blog for the past few months, but I'm sitting here at my computer bawling, so, so, so sad for your loss. Fucking cancer. It's not fair, and it was too fast, and I hate it.

winecat said...

SO sorry for you and the babies but so happy for GH. As you said he no longer has cancer and is free of pain.
I'm sure he left you with the joy of his babies laughter and your intense love in his heart.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad that he is not suffering any longer. I hope your healing process goes smoothly and you can be the best mommy to those twins.

Kim H.
Springfield, IL

Dawn said...

I'm so, so incredibly sorry.

AMM said...

You've written with such grace, beauty and honesty.
My heart breaks for you, your twins and for GH. I'm glad he is at peace, but pissed that peace came like this...It is not fair.

You should be proud of yourself and him. You clearly lived a beautiful life together. Remember your love.

kabbage said...

I'm sorry, Snick. It sounds like you helped him have a beautiful and loving transition. You all are in my thoughts and prayers.

seattlegal said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

Sami said...

While these words may seem inadequate it is the best I can offer... I am glad that you were with GH at the end... I am sorry that the end came so soon. Even though I am late to this saga you are in my thoughts and prayers as are the twins and GH... I am so very sorry for the loss of your lover, husband, and friend...

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

Chili said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll be thinking of you and your family.

Jason said...

Found you via Thordora. Just went through basically the same thing you have - lost my wife last summer. I'll try to check in periodically. I hope you and your twins are able to stay well through this tumult.

Birdie said...

I don't know you and just started reading your blog. But thank you for sharing your story. I will be thinking of you and your family. So very sorry for your loss.

Anonymous said...

I am so very sorry,

Cathy said...

May light perpetual shine upon GH.

Kirsten said...

Praying for you & yours; my heart goes out to you all.

Samantha said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Beachgal said...

I've never read your blog before today, but I am so incredibly sorry. Gah.

Heather said...

I lost my grandmother to cancer last year. Cancer is... wicked. When it's slow, it's too slow and you want it to be over so your loved one can stop hurting and be at peace. And when it's quick, it's too quick and you want more time...

Wishing you and your babies comfort, serenity, and love.

BethGo said...

Oh Snickollet. I am so very sorry. You and GH have touched my heart with your love and strength.
You have my deepest sympathies.

net said...

((((snickolet & babies))))

Amy said...

I found you yesterday through Dr. Mama and I am so sorry.

Best wishes from a total stranger,
Amy

PS You are a beautiful writer.

Priscilla Pseudonym said...

Coming in through Menita just yesterday; could not stop reading about the twins and looking at their pictures. So glad GH got to see and hold those babies.

Thank you for sharing your story--you've shown us how love transcends time and circumstance. Madeleine and Riley will have so many questions about their Dad, and your love for him will shine through each time you answer.

Many tears and much love from a stranger no more.

Allison said...

Even though I am a complete stranger, I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

thordora said...

I don't have any words for you. Just my thoughts, and my tears. And maybe a little Dylan Thomas...

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Sarah said...

I am one more person who is so sorry for all of your losses... for you and your family.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for you and your family. I'm sitting at my desk crying right now for you, for your babies...I've lost two relatives to pancreatic cancer and it's so tragic. I wish you so much peace...you are an incredibly strong woman.

DG said...

This is so cruel and unfair. I'm so sorry.

Shauna said...

I'm also a new reader referred by another blog, and although I'm sure a stranger's sentiments can't begin to offer any comfort, I still want to add my heartfelt "I'm sorry" to your growing collection. I'm truly, truly sorry, and I'm so sad that you have to experience this. I pray for peace for you, and all the exact right kind of support from those around you.

Anonymous said...

I am an oncologist, and a GI oncologist at that. I treat patients with pancreatic cancer. Your story makes me want to be a better doctor...to do more research, to see more patients. What you are going through is not fair, and my sympathies are with you and your children and family.

Krista said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I admire your strenght and grace although I know there will be times when you feel like you have neither. The world can be such a cruel and unfair place and this is a prime example. Much love and well wishes to you and your two sweet children.

andria said...

So sorry...prayers for your family.

Elizabeth said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you love from a stranger.

Hopeful Mother said...

I don't know you, but wanted to tell you how sorry I am.

Jen said...

Thank you so much or sharing your story and letting us all get to know GH. I am so sorry he had to leave you and the twins... But he was so lucky to have you and the kids. You and your family are in my heart and prayers.

Anonymous said...

i am so sorry. i am holding my loved ones a little closer today thinking of you. another stranger is standing with you in mourning your wonderful husband.

Bonnie said...

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Cyndy said...

I am so, so sorry for you and your babes. Know that you are in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

I'm so very sorry.

Carol said...

Just another total stranger who just found you, but wishes I could wrap my arms around you and make the pain go away. My heart goes out to you. I hope you find peace and strength in dealing with this sad, sad loss. Bless you.

luolin said...

I'm so sorry.

I am amazed at your ability to write so beautifully about this. I am mourning GH, and I only knew him through your words. You are all in my thoughts.

Becky said...

I'm so sorry.

Anonymous said...

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public
doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.


He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.


The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

GLouise said...

Over here from Tertia and Laura...My prayers and thoughts to you and your dear family. I am so sorry.

silene said...

So very sorry to learn of your loss - my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Anonymous said...

I am so, so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.

Christine

Lara said...

i wish i could say something. i don't know you - i've never read your blog until just now, and i am just hurting for you. i remember going through this kind of goodbye when my father died of cancer eight years ago. completely different, and yet somehow similar. there is nothing to tell you except that i am thinking of you.

kelly said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

My thoughts are with you and your family

"A fellow Bliss-seeker" said...

Just read your entire blog in one sitting. What an amazing family you are. GH is not gone. Only the body has expired.
Much love
J

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing such a private moment in your life. You'll never know much reading your experience has meant to total strangers, myself included. Life is precious.

Heather said...

As a longtime reader, I'm so sad to see this day come. It happened so quickly at the end, but I am so glad to hear that GH left peacefully to the sound of his children's laughter.

Patience said...

I am so very, very sorry for your loss xx

Much love to you all

Jenn said...

I am always amazed with the strength someone in your position has. May GH live on strong and proud in your heart and in your twins.

Flicka said...

Oh Snick...I'm weeping for you. I'm so sorry.

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you.
Crying for you.
Love to you.

Just want to add one more comment so you know how many people are thinking of you right now.

~Donna in Michigan

baasheep said...

My Mam passed away from pancreatic cancer last Sunday. I can imagine what you are going through and I am so so so sorry for your loss.

Cuddlefish said...

I am also 35 and the thought of being widowed so early makes me feel so sad for you. I am so very sorry for your loss. So sorry.

Beagle said...

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Julia said...

Another visitor from Tertia's. I am so sorry. I know there are no words to make you feel better, and I know I am a total stranger, but I am nearby and if you could use anything at all-- food, booze, whatever-- just holler and I will be honored to get it for you.

Em said...

I'm glad that you were with your darling man when he died. I'm so glad you said what needed to be said and that he knew how much you loved him.

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Fran said...

I am so sorry for your. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Kate said...

My heart hurts for you. I'm so sorry.

laurie said...

I'm so sorry... There just aren't the right words.

carosgram said...

I hope your many memories bring you some comfort. May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

Rani said...

I came from Tertia's blog. I don't know you, but wanted to send my sincerest condolences. No words seem appropriate at a time like this. =(

msfitzita said...

I am so very, very sorry...

The love you share with GH is so incredibly beautiful. Thank you for bringing it to the world for all of us to witness.

Thinking of you...

susan said...

Oh, I am so sorry.

You are loved. GH is loved. And may the strength of that love be a comfort in your sadness.

Mamma said...

Here via BethGo.

I am so glad you were able to say all that needed to be said. I've found that to be the most long-lasting comfort after losing my loved one.

I ache for you and for your children. I send my sincere wishes for the pain to ebb quickly and the memories to stay forever.

Sue said...

I am so sorry for your loss. May your memories of GH and your love for each other provide some comfort at this time.

Quilao Triplets said...

I am finding you through Tertia. I am profoundly sorry for your loss. How lucky you are to have had the love of your life for the time that you did and now he will be watching over you and your sweet babies forever.

God bless,
Casey

Cat, Galloping said...

i am so sorry.

Elaine said...

I am so very, very sorry. There are no words to touch something like this. Life is very unfair.

As you said, you did say all that had to be said, and that will be a consolation. Very small, but true.

Take care of yourself now. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Katy said...

I will keep you all in my thoughts. May peace be with you.

Somewhat Ordinary said...

I've been following your blog for a few weeks and was so sad to see this posted today. I am so very sorry for your loss and will be thinking of you and your twins.

Hillz said...

im so so sorry to hear that. ive only been reading your blog for about two days, i followed a link from doctor mama, and i read it all in one day im just so impressed with the depth of your love for GH.

best wishes for happy memories

Ama said...

You and the twins are in my thoughts tonight.

My Reality said...

I am so very sorry.

Anonymous said...

I found your blog through another that I follow. I wanted to add my thought of love and peace for you and your family. Your word of love for your husband shine so brightly. I will keep you in my thoughts.

-Lisa

daisysmum said...

I am so sorry.

I know and fear cancer... and I am sorry that it has taken another dear person much too soon.

Wishing you peace and strength and everything in between.

Janice said...

I'm so very sad and sorry for your loss. I have posted a candle on my blog: http://babblescafe.blogspot.com, in your honor. My prayers are with you and your family.

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