Three years ago today, John died.
My sister-in-law is visiting this weekend. It's nice to have her here on a this significant date, although, as always for me, the day itself is only as significant as I choose to make it. Should I choose to use the calendar's reckoning as a reason to reflect on the passage of time, so be it. Otherwise, it's simply another day to miss John. So far, I've focused on enjoying the company of family and friends, the challenge and resulting peace of sharing my sorrow with the congregation at church, and gorging myself on an Edible Arrangement from a particularly thoughtful and much-missed member of my Boston tribe (thanks, CV).
There has been much healing in the past three years, but the most significant thing I've learned is that the grief is never over. It ebbs and flows, but it never goes away. I'll always miss John. Not to miss him would be to forget him, a terrible and impossible alternative. So I live with the grief and I try to learn from it, and today I think about John a little more. Love always to you, Goose.
Moi
- Snickollet
- I'm a mother and a widow, and a whole lot of other things. Here, though, I tend to write about parenting, grief, and their intersection.
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30 comments:
thinking of you today. Hugs
I, too, am thinking of you and the twins today.
(((HUG)))
I think he'd be really proud of you.
Big hugs to all of your today. It's a beautiful day, hopefully filled with beautiful memories.
Thinking of you and your family .
We, too, are thinking of you and John and Maddie and Riley today...
thinking of you and your lovely twins today.
Hugs and chocolate to you and M and R....
Thinking of you, Snick. I didn't even read your blog back then, but I feel like I've been reading it forever ... time is such a strange thing.
Sending my best wishes to you today,
Anne
Peace and comfort to you today. (((Hugs.)))
Oh Snick, I'm still so sorry. I send big hugs to you and your adorable children.
So very well said Snick. Thinking about you and yours.
My thoughts are with you today.
There is always so much love here. Thanks for sharing.
Thinking of the three of you today...
I'd lost track and hadn't realized that today was the 3-yr mark for you. Hugs and warm thoughts--and happy memories of John--being sent your way.
Fortunately, my experience has been that the death anniversaries haven't really been all that horrible after the first year. I have no expectations that it's supposed to be a wonderfully happy, good day--unlike on holidays--so I find I'm better able to appreciate when the day doesn't suck. Good moments with friends or Anna, a good meal, a good glass of wine...doesn't matter what, but somehow I'm better able to notice the little good things and let the rest go than on "normal" days. Don't ask me how that works or why...but I hope you found the same thing today, yesterday, and in the days to come. (Then again, ask me again in July if I'm as complacent as usual about death anniversaries, since I'll be hitting #5 then. Blech.)
Hope it works to see you next weekend!!!! Hugs, my friend, to you and the twins.
thinking of you today. have a huge hug. and some for the kids too.
taff
Peace to you today Snick.
Thinking of you always Snick. I knew the day was coming up *sigh*. I can only imagine that the days get just a little "easier" with time but of course you never, ever forget. He would be incredibly proud of the mother that you are and the woman you have gone on to become.
Beautifully said; I'm wistful as I read this.
Love to you, John, the kids, and all you guys' family and friends.
Hugs, Snick.
Thinking of you--and remembering John, which I do on so many other days as well.
Sending you warm thoughts and a big hub.
You handle your grief with grace. Alas, I know you would rather not have learned how to do that. Thinking of you.
The best to you & yours as always Snick. The diagnosis that you two got while you still had your wedding pedicure..that always makes my heart twist painfully.
I'm so sorry for you. I had my 2 year anniversary last month and it feels like a lifetime has passed since my lovely wife died. Jeff
just checking in after a week's vacation. seems i've been following you for just over 3 years now. thank you so much for continuing to share your journey and for always making me think.
today - i'm thinking of you, the twins, and john.
May you have peace today. I agree with Lyndsay I think he'd be very proud of you.
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