I have accepted an offer on my condo.
I signed the offer on Sunday, and those of you who are Facebook friends with me likely already know this rather gigantic piece of news. And while yes, it is in fact a huge piece of very exciting news that I want to sing from the rooftops and use as an excuse to buy champagne by the case, I suffer from superstition about saying it out loud too many times.
It was the same when I was in the interview process for the job at Reed. Things were going well, it was on my mind all the time, I wanted to tell people about it and benefit from their good wishes, but I was nervous. I felt like talking about it too much would jinx it somehow, prevent that next call from coming in, knock me out of the running. Talking about it was like pretending it was real when it wasn't, or something. Or maybe it was just self-preservation.
You see, the more people I told about the job the more people I'd have to tell if it didn't work out, and the more I talked about it the more I wanted it, thus making the potential disappointment of not getting it more acute. I have a lot of experience with sharing bad news, and I don't enjoy it. Every time I share the news, I have to relive the bad feelings again. It can be exhausting, so keeping things close until they are real can be a way to shield myself from some of the post-event damage.
The condo deal is more likely to become a reality than the Reed job was. I have a signed contract. The buyer is preapproved for the loan. As far as I know, the condo is in great shape and should pass inspection with flying colors. But. But. But. Something could come up at the inspection. Or the financing could fall through. Or the buyer could just change his mind. Until all the documents are signed at the close and the money has been transferred to my mortgage holder, I can't be as excited as I want to be. But I'm also too excited to keep the news to myself.
I'm trying hard not to think about how much money I'm losing in this deal and trying hard to focus on how much the sale of the condo will improve my cash flow. Frankly, given how poor my cash flow situation has been of late, it's been pretty easy to keep my thoughts in the right place for now.
I'm cautiously optimistic, extremely excited, and already spending my additional monthly income. First two orders of business? A trip back east to see my Boston friends and a big ol' party for all the people in Portland with whom I'm so happy to be sharing this city.
Closing date: December 11. Thirty-two days 'til the really, really, REALLY happy post.