29 October 2008

Well, Wouldn't You Know

Sometime in August, I bragged to my mom that Maddie and Riley were never sick.

The next day they both got some nasty virus and were as sick as they'd ever been.

I clearly remember a trip John and I took to Vermont before we were married during which I was telling him about this blog I read written by this woman who had lost her husband to cancer. She was trying to conceive their children with sperm they had banked before her husband started his treatment. I was telling John how much pain I felt for this woman for her loss and for her having to create a future that honored her late husband but didn't include him. I expounded on how I could not imagine being able to make the decision she was making; it just seemed too hard.

Well, it's not so different from my situation now.

When we found out that John had "spots" in his liver (ha! spots! the doctors really call them that. sounds so innocuous.) but didn't yet know what his actual diagnosis was, we naively thought he must have liver cancer. Liver cancer is pretty grim. In an attempt to cheer us up, a friend said, "Well, at least it's not pancreatic cancer! That kills everyone!"

Ha, "joke" was on us.

My point here is that I find examples large and small in my life of instances that prove that I should follow the old adage and never say never. It's when I say never that karma or Murphy or God or a god or who- or whatever shows up to prove me wrong.

Three days ago, I stated right here on this blog that I don't dream about people I know well. Last night, I dreamed about Maddie and Riley in one dream and Mr. Coffee in another. My dreams, like my personality, are usually very practical, the kinds of mundane things that could happen in real life.* Last night was no exception. In the dream about Maddie and Riley, I was all excited because I was out shopping and found these cute little wallets for them. They are obsessed with my wallet and have been asking me for wallets of their own. In my dream, I was at some knick-knacky kind of store, and I found a two-pack of old-school velcro wallets that would be perfect for M&R. So I bought them and took them home and the kids were all excited and that was that. Snooze.

I woke up from that dream, quickly feel back asleep, and promptly dreamed about Mr. Coffee. We went out to dinner. It was nice, romantic. At the end of the meal, I quite without warning or any lead-in whatsoever said, "You know what? I love you."

And then I woke up for the day.

Dreams have never felt to me like some kind of expression of unspoken desire or working out of troubled thoughts. I rarely remember them, and when I do, there's not much worth telling.** I've certainly in real life had no urge to blurt out "I love you" to Mr. Coffee. We have yet to establish what our relationship is/could be/should be, for crying out loud. In any case, the dream was surprising. Ultimately, it's just a dream.

*Of course, now I'm going to have some crazy time-travelling fantasy dream.

**OK, once I dreamed that I was the second coming of Christ, but that's something that I should probably discuss with my therapist.

12 comments:

Anna said...

Howdy, just wanted to touch on something you had been pondering in a previous post: Mr. Coffee's long-term committed relationships and those two women not being introduced to his daughters.

For any parent in his situation, I find it admirable that he is slow and thoughtful about when and who he should introduce to his girls. At their ages, it really would be heartbreaking to involve you in their lives if he was not sure where this all goes. If you too ended your relationship, then it must end for them as well as they are not of age to be able to contact you on their own if they would be so inclined. I think protecting them from a pain that they cannot control is a good thing.

I would also point out that there are many professional, wonderful, self-possessed women in this world who go on to believe that a man must choose between his children and them. (I've personally known 3 such women in my life.) When you combine that with the age of the daughters who can be reasonably expected to be jealous of anyone spending time with their father, then that makes for a tense situation which could unfortunately devolve into an emotional tug of war.

So, rather than put himself in either situation and take chances, it appears that Mr. Coffee chooses not to make that introduction at all.

All that conjecture aside, I am so happy to read that you are enjoying yourself. Life can be hard and unforgiving at times and it's fabu when the clouds break. Good to see it happening to you.

Lizard said...

as they say, sometimes a banana is just a banana (best said in fake Freud accent or even better yet, in fake John Belushi doing fake Sigmund Freud accent.... that's the ticket).

dreams like this are always entertaining. I hoep you find the wallets!

s_ivan said...

some of my dreams over the years have been so real that some dream-occupant has to remind me it is a dream, after all.

example: gone to bed as a teenager after a night out with friends, having realized I left my purse on the floor of the pizza parlor but too late to call the place, which was closed for the night. anxiety.

dream: I go to the pizza parlor, see the purse just where I left it. Pick it up and head for the door. I can get myself out the door but the purse just won't get through... the guy behind the counter says, "No, you're asleep. We're closed. You can't take that with you now. You'll have to wait until morning and come back for real." I drop the purse and leave.

Morning: purse is there, like in the dream. But the guy behind the counter is somebody different. ah, well. I guess I'm not prophetic.

Lyndsay said...

...could you please mention how I will NEVER will the lottery...

thanks.

Lyndsay said...

...that would be WIN the lottery obviously.

sorry.

Anna said...

Eeep, just wanted to clarify something in my post above. I did not mean that YOU would be the type of woman to make Mr. Coffee choose between his daughters and his companion. Just speculating that perhaps one or both of his previous long-term relationships had done so and thus the reluctance.

Cheers!

Giovanna Diaries said...

Dreams of Mr. Coffee?????? Snick & Mr. Coffee sitting in a tree.......are you counting petals from a daisy too? You soooo are crushing hard!

tousquireste said...

Aha! That's what's so special about you. Second coming eh.... I guess i better start believing in the first coming! :D

I regularly have vivid, detailed, bizarro dreams. So much so that it's a joke in my family to pretend to be interested...

Mary Ellen said...

I dreamed I was married to Barack Obama! But he was never home... Etsy has some cute (not expensive) wallets made from Sunday comics.
Sweet dreams!

Keen said...

Dreams are funny. Last night I dreamed I was in Oregon, hiding from an armed group that was trying to wipe it off the map. I thought of you. And I remember the dream about the second coming!

Jen said...

i crack up everytime you mention your dream about being the second coming of christ. that fits.. :)

your daughter said the cutest thing this morning.. she's brilliant. i'm going to post about it on my blog in a few minutes. :)

Roads said...

Now what's scary here is my Mum's contention that if you tell people your dream before you've eaten, it's bad luck. So I hope you'd had your breakfast already before spilling the beans about these dreams.

Not sure what different shades of luck might mean here, and only time will tell, but one could wonder whether the dream will come true or not.

Heading out on a limb, then, I'd venture that the same thought (whilst seemingly remote) was perhaps running subconsciously through your mind.

I'd like to tell you about my dreams, but I've found that waiting for breakfast unerringly makes me forget them completely.

Which might just be the intention behind that old adage, after all...