Mr. Coffee and I were supposed to get together on Friday, but we totally got our signals crossed.
I am a Language Professional. I have a lot of experience living in places where the predominant language spoken is not my first language, and, on the flip side, I have a lot of experience speaking English with people whose native language is something else. In my professional opinion, the crossed signals Mr. Coffee and I experienced were a function of Linguistic Breakdown. I outlined our plans in a way that seemed perfectly clear (to me) in e-mail; he read the message both inattentively (busy at work, not much of a written communicator) and filtered through two other languages before he got to English. Voilà: suddenly he thought I was coming to him and I thought he was coming to me and it just didn't happen.
I notice this kind of thing often in our communication; for example, I'll ask him a question, and his answer will give away that he's understood something subtly different. I think some people might write it off as him not being a good listener, but from my own experience and from our interaction, I know he's listening. His English is excellent, but it's not perfect. It's a language thing. It happens more on the phone and over e-mail and less when we talk face to face, which is a giveaway to me that it's linguistic.
John and I actually used to get into debates about this in regards to his parents. When John spoke to his parents, they spoke Korean and John answered in English. I always felt like there were times when they had Linguistic Breakdown, and either John didn't totally understand the Korean or his mom or dad didn't totally understand the English, or both, and suddenly they would be talking about the same subject but missing each other's points. John maintained that his parents weren't listening, but based on my own English-English conversations with his parents, I don't think it was that. They were listening as hard as they could, but sometimes, they missed stuff. Neither of them really learned to speak English until they were adults. Their English is excellent, but this language stuff can be sneaky. The same is true for Mr. Coffee. He didn't really learn English in a practical way until he came to the U.S. in his mid-twenties. He's at a disadvantage.
The bottom line is that Linguistic Breakdowns can be frustrating, but I am very forgiving of them. Also: I think Mr. Coffee and I should speak more French, a second language for both of us, which would put us on equal footing and be sexy to boot.
Anyway. I'm two glasses of wine and a lot of good sex into my night, so I'm having a hard time keeping track of my point. Here it is: Mr. Coffee and I had Date #8 tonight, Sunday, instead of Friday.
He got here in time to see Maddie and Riley before they went to bed. They were both very excited to see him, and he was equally pleased to see them. I like that he makes a point to come over when they are still up. He could just as easily wait until they went to bed, but he makes sure to get here in time to spend a bit of time with them; we're usually getting home from being out and about with friends, and the twins enjoy telling him about our adventures and day. Maddie wanted him to join us for story time, but Riley wasn't quite ready for that. Maybe next time.
After the kids were in bed, Mr. Coffee and I spent some good time getting caught up on our weeks (both of us were very busy) over some wine and snacks. Then we did less talking and more, um, yeah.
He leaves on Tuesday for a nearly two-week trip. Grr. He's more frustrated about it than I am in the sense that he's sick of the work travel; it's fun for a while, but then it just gets old. He's at the point where it's old. He misses his kids. He misses me, or so he says, and I believe him. His travel schedule looks calmer over the holidays, which is something to look forward to, although the twins and I are away for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
I didn't go for any Relationship Talk tonight. I feel like it's something I need to do, but tonight my need for a night off trumped that. It was delightful, just what I needed. I predict that I will sleep well.
Now it's nose to the grindstone for the next two weeks while Mr. Coffee is away. Good lord, I need to exercise and take care of some stuff around the house. For now, though, I need to sleep.
As an aside, I wish I dreamed about people I know well. I usually dream about people I know, but wish I knew better. For example, recently, I had an awesome dream about a guy I had a crush on in high school, and I frequently dream about people I've met and think would make great friends. I'd love to have a dream about John, but I can almost guarantee I never will. And as I fall asleep tonight, I'd love to have a dream about Mr. Coffee. Alas, although we haven't known each other very long, we already know each other too well for that to happen.