08 March 2008

Ups and Downs

After three weekends in a row of family, the twins and I are on our own
this weekend. We had a really nice day today. We went to a Spanish
story hour at the local library, then out for coffee and a scone, then
home for lunch and a nap. I had to wake the kids up from their nap they
slept so long. When has that ever happened?! I would have just let them
sleep, but we were supposed to head over to see some friends for a
playdate and sleepover, plus with the time change I wanted to be sure
that the kids were good and ready for bed when the time rolled around.

We had a great playdate and dinner, but bedtime was, um, well, not so
great. While Riley's sleeping has been back on track at home, he
screamed as soon as I put him down at our friends'. He's slept there
before no problem, many times, so not sure what was up. I guess he's
still working through his sleeping issues or having his phase or
whatever. I confess that I lost my shit. I made the right decision—take
the kids home rather than letting Riley sob—but I didn't execute it
very well. I had really been looking forward to spending the evening
having a good dinner and some grown-up conversation with my friends,
and I directed my disappointment at missing out on that towards the
kids. Not fair, not right—it's not like the little man deliberately
thwarted me; he felt scared for whatever reason. I did apologize to
them, but still. Sigh. It's such a classic pattern: do something
regretful, think it won't happen again, feel guilty when it does. Must
think about how to get rid of the guilt. Or manage my emotions better.

Still, overall it was a nice day, and there are worse things than
sleeping in my own bed. Speaking of which, I'm headed there soon. After all of the
kerfuffle, we didn't get home unitl 8:00 p.m., which is already an hour
past the kids' bedtime. And, of course, 8:00 p.m. is really 9:00 p.m.
because of the time change. Oh, well, maybe the twins will "sleep in"
tomorrow. Fake sleeping in is better than no sleeping in.


Momma Mary said...

I think that your ups and downs are totally normal. If they're not, I have the same problem, and I'm not dealing with half the stress you are. You really are doing a good job, even if you lose you patience. Give yourself a hug, and enjoy fake sleeping in tomorrow. :)

Rev Dr Mom said...

I so empathize with the losing it and then apologizing...been there and done that.

Hope you got a sleep-in this morning.

buddha_girl said...

I'm with you on the losing of the shit. While I've been really happy with two poos in the potty this week, Buddha lost HIS shit when we were taking a walk in the dark with the dog the other night. He thought it would be better to run from me than to hold my hand.

I threw him over my shoulder. He screamed so BADLY that neighbors turned on their lights and came out to see who was murdering whom. Nice. Lovely shit, I tell ya.

Keen said...

Ugh, I know that feeling--I've had to miss out on things that I was really looking forward to because the twins wouldn't cooperate. It makes me feel shitty, because it makes me feel so angry at them even though I know it's not their fault, and I feel selfish for wanting my grown-up activity so badly. Sigh.

Hope you get another fun grown-up activity sometime soon.

Mama Nabi said...

Sigh... LN kept me up all night with a fever and coughs... so when she was reluctant to nap yesterday, I also lost it... it happens. *hugs*