23 July 2007

Attitude Problem

Riley has been sick for the past few days. Fever, congestion, serious crankies. I've had to get up with him in the night to administer Motrin and offer him something to drink. Poor baby. So far, Maddie is OK, and so am I, and Riley seems to be on the mend. Poor little man.

My mom left yesterday. I miss her.

I have a lot to do at work today, none of it interesting. Of course, I might be home with a sick baby; we'll see how he's doing when he wakes up.

Between a sick wee one, my mom leaving, and the dullness that is work combined with the dullness that it my mind these days, I'm feeling tapped out. I'm consumed by fantasies of quitting my job and thoughts of how that could be a realistic option. (So far, it's not.) I need to start making the serious plans for John's memorial. I need to organize first birthday pictures. I'm just out of energy all of a sudden.

Halfmama tagged me and someone else tagged me for a different meme a while ago—I have not forgotten, but have been unmotivated, as this post indicates. Thanks for both tags. I actually love to be tagged. Hopefully the tags will pull me out of my rut. I'll try to get to them this week.

If anyone finds my motivation out there somewhere, please send it back to me, OK? COD is fine, but please use express mail.


Klynn said...

Usually when my motivation goes missing, I ask whoever's near if they've seen it. Usually the answer's "no". Then I say, "well if you find it, go ahead and put it out of it's misery."

Hope Ri-man feels better soon, and your motivation comes slinking back from wherever it's been hiding.

Arwen said...

I'm sorry, I'm feeling the same way minus all of your reasons. Have you been seeing a grief counsellor at all? Perhaps some a/d's would help get you over this hump as you are still grieving?

Kathryn said...

I suspect, snick, with all that there in on your plate, a bit of weariness and lack of zest is totally unsurprising. Still tough for you, though. Here's hoping you find your motivation down the back of the sofa, with the keys and a handful of change...

Rachel said...

I'm sorry Riley has been sick. That's always hard.

I think anyone in your shoes would feel unmotivated. Probably even exhausted and overwhelmed. Hugs.

Anonymous said...

Sorry Ri-man is sick, Izzy has a bad cold as well, I feel so terribly for the little ones when they are so congested, so little you can do for them that actually works for any good period of time.

Glad you and Maddie are warding off the germies though.

On the motivation stuff, you're entitled I think, but that feeling of just not having the gumption to get up and go sucks. For me a bit of forced exercise usually helps to reinvigorate me.

Thinking of you and wishing you well!

lots of love,

Anonymous said...

Don't even worry about the meme! You just get Riley better and keep you and Maddie healthy.

I think you are entitled to a lack of energy right about now considering everything that is going on in your life. I hope something different happens with your job... whether it's a change at your current one or a change in general.

Hope Riley feels better soon!

Christine said...

Hey Snick -- considering all you've been through, an occasional lack of motivation is not only to be expected, but you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. I second the comment that a grief counselor would probably be beneficial. Hugs times three -- to you and your beautiful children.

Yankee T said...

All I can do is echo what everyone else says. You're entitled. But I know for someone like you, lack of motivation cannot feel very good.
Thinking of all of you, daily.

Snickollet said...

Re: grief counseling, I do see a social worker from Early Intervention. We mostly do art therapy. It helps some. I need to call the therapist at the place where John got his treatments. I liked her a lot, but have been lazy about reconnecting with her.

Lil' Sis: I'm like you with exercise. I got out for a run with my neighbor yesterday and it really turned my day around, at least until the kids had total cranky meltdowns at 6:00. I'm off today, but will run tomorrow. yeah!

Anonymous said...

If I win the lottery I'm totally giving you a bunch of money so you can quit your job. Unfortunately I don't really play the lottery that much. But if I do...