GH should be home from the hospital on Friday. The antibiotics seem to have helped, but the source of the infection is still a bit of a question mark. The docs drained nearly four liters of fluid from his abdominal cavity today, which will be analyzed for infection. Even if the fluid wasn't the problem, GH is still more comfortable with it out. It's hard to eat when you have so much fluid taking up space in there.
Tomorrow GH will have a procedure to place stents in his liver. The team at the hospital he's in now thinks that they can access enough blockages to make it worthwhile. They don't guarantee success, but they want to give it the ol' college try. The stents will be internal. They aren't sure how many they will place yet. Once they get in there, they'll figure out how many blockages they can relieve.
The stents will help with the jaundice and thus the infernal itching that has plagued GH over the past weeks. What they won't help with is the prognosis. GH's oncologist was by today. She's not a woman to say "You have X amount of time to live" because really, what good does that do anyone? But this time was different. This time she felt like she needed to let us know that we could be looking at weeks here. Weeks. Not months. Not years. Weeks. When you may only have weeks, you start to need to do things and think about things in a different way.
Weeks.
It's too soon and it's too fast. But that would always be the case.
Weeks.
Moi
- Snickollet
- I'm a mother and a widow, and a whole lot of other things. Here, though, I tend to write about parenting, grief, and their intersection.
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38 comments:
I keep checking back, having never commented before, because I have been thinking about you, GH, and the twins. I can't even begin to express my sentiments on the enormity of what you're going through; just that you have people "out there" whom you've never met or heard of, hoping, wishing, praying...
Around here, all the real estate is advertised as "minutes from downtown," which sometimes means 30-59 minutes. I wish your weeks could be numerous like that, even though it would still be too fast.
Oh, Snick. ((SNICK)) ((GH)) ((BABIES))
hugs from afar
i'm so sad to read this. my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
All of the love showered on the world should be concentrated on you and your family now.
"I'm sorry," is too contrite a phrase to offer when you're facing an interminable loss of your dearly-loved GH.
But there's nothing more I can think to say because nothing will make your current road easier.
Prayers, good energy, white light -they're all coming your way. My Lil Sis is out of town and can't comment online but said to send her love to you, GH, and the twins. We're here for you.
Damn. Damn. Damn.
Double damn.
I know the feeling; I know there are no words from me that will help.
But,
we're here.
you're not alone in this.
there is so much love coming your way; I hope even a whisper of it reaches you.
sending hugs and strength and always prayers for that miracle.
shit, no......
{{{{{{{Snickollet, GH, Babies}}}}}}}}}
You are all in my prayers.
From the time my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer, to the time he passed away was almost exactly one year. One year. It's always too fast.
But I read your blog, and I think...the cancer GH has usually progresses much faster than that. You have already beaten the odds and stretched your time together. What's to say he won't surprise you all and stick around for much longer than expected???
My prayer for you is that he stays as long as he can, and is as comfortable as possible. And when (and if) it's time for him to go, it is peaceful. Actually, come to think of it, that prayer could be for anyone with or without cancer.
As I said before, time is precious. Love to you all.
You are all in my prayers.
My friend,
I'm further stunned and saddened to read this post. I'm keeping you and GH and the twins in my thoughts and in my heart. Please call on me whenever, for whatever (to talk, to visit, to...?).
And an enormous Thank You to all you readers for the support you continue to offer my dear friend through this medium. It's so valuable, and I know she appreciates it.
I'm sorry, Snick. Shit. At least he is more comfortable. And they are trying to do something. That's really all I can say, other that I am thinking of you.
I'm really sorry. I don't know what else to say! I'm thinking of you and your family often.
Thinking of you and your family and hoping for many, many, many weeks. Years of weeks.
Damn it, damn it, damn it. Life is so friggin unfair sometimes. I am crying (literally) for you and GH and the twins. Please let me know if there is anything at all that I can do.
I've been reading these posts for awhile now, but never commented. I'm so sorry for what you all are going through. You have been in my prayers (if that's okay) and will be in my prayers. May you and GH find ways to treasure each and every moment for as long as you are able. I'm praying for a miracle, and hope you are given a forever-load of moments.
Ah, Snick, I'm sorry. I hope GH gets home soon and feels better after his procedures.
dorcasina said it best- you are not alone in this. We are here, loving you, supporting you, praying for you. Jill
People that you've never met are thinking of you, praying for you, and wanting you and yours to get that miracle.
I'm just so sorry.
Yeah. I was afraid it was weeks. I hope the stints give him relief so he can record lots of books for the twins. Letters for their high school graduation. Ugh. This just sucks.
my thoughts are with you.
I haven't commented before, but I wanted to wish you the very best. I'm so so sorry.
I'm a first-time commenter at well. We will be keeping you and yours in our prayers especially.
(((( snickollet ))))
also have not commented before, but many thoughts for you and your family. very glad GH is more comfortable with the fluid gone, and hope the procedure tomorrow goes well.
Praying for your entire family...
I'm thinking of you guys. Sending hugs, prayers, and good thoughts your way.
I have never commented either, but I have thought of you and your family often, and will continue to do so. Thoughts and prayers. Please take care of yourself to the extent that it is possible, and please drive carefully while under this stress.
You don't know me, but I'm holding your family in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs.
Also new to your blog.
Your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Many, many hugs.
I am so very sorry Snickollet. Thinking of you and your family
How? How do you do things differently, and how to do you think about things differently? How the hell do you do this? I am alternatly amazed and devestated that you have to * do/live/say all this crap *. This horrible stuff. I'm so sorry. You're in my prayers.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'll be thinking of you. I hope you find a way to make those weeks the best they can be--a task absolutely no one ever wants to have to think about.
I have never commented here before and don't know you, but I wanted to join the rest of us hoping for a miracle. I am sending a huge hug and lots of thoughts and prayers your way ...
Shit. Shit shit shit. I'm so sorry and I'm so angry for you and GH and the twins. May you make the most of the time you have together.
Oh my dear. I am so sorry.
I've never commented before but wanted to say how very sorry I am.
Haven't commented before, but have been reading for a while. I'm hoping and wishing for you, GH, Maddie and Riley, for the best possible outcome.
Dear Snickollet, I just came over from Leggy's blog. I am so very, very sorry, and wishing your family much strength and richness and joy in the time you've got left together.
So sorry. There's enormous courage and hope in the words you've written here. I wish you strength and courage for the future.
bj
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