06 February 2006

What I Needed (Mostly)

I got most of what I needed this weekend. It was a really nice couple of days. GH and I started it off with dinner at an upscale local restaurant that we hadn't been to before; we enjoyed our food, had great service, and liked the atmosphere. We'll be back. The rest of the weekend involved naps, more food, productive activities around the house (starting our taxes, getting some furniture we need to sell posted on Craigslist, laundry, etc.), walks in the unseasonably warm weather, and time with friends.

The time with friends was really welcome. Over the past few months--even as far back as GH's diagnosis--time with friends has sometimes felt like a burden. I appreciate more than I can say that we have so many wonderful, supportive people in our lives, but keeping up with everyone can be difficult, and often GH and I need time for just the two of us. This weekend, though, we managed to find a good balance between "us" time and time with others, and I felt rejuvenated by reconnecting with some people we hadn't seen in a while. The only downside was that we ended up at a SuperBowl party on Sunday night with a small group of good friends and I had so much fun chatting and eating party food that I missed basically the whole game! Oops. Not a bad tradeoff, though.

Friday night and Saturday morning also found me on the phone with GH's parents. I have not written much about my relationship with them because it is very complicated and often painful, and I just don't have the energy a lot of the time. But last Thursday, GH and I had quite a blowout with his dad, and I was needing to make some amends. I was glad that I could do that and say, "You know, I was stressed out on Thursday and this has been a hard week and I just couldn't be the person you want me to be," and move on. Ugh. I must confess that I am gleeful at the thought that his parents are in Thailand for two weeks--they won't be able to harass us during the radiation treatments! Yeah!

radiation starts today at 1:00. I'm not as nervous now as I was last week, for some reason. We have nothing on the agenda for this week, so I'll be able to take good care of me and GH as we start this next step in the process.

Met with the electrician today. He was very nice and seemed quite competent. He's supposed to call me with an estimate soon. I'm visiting a daycare center tomorrow, and I have a list of all the licensed home daycares in our town printed out so that I can start calling them to see about that option. Sold one of our furniture items on Craigslist and have had inquiries about the others, but no real bites. I've had such mixed luck with Craigslist. It can be such a time drain to deal with the inquiries that go nowhere and the people who don't show up, especially for stuff that's really not worth that much money. I think I might be better off just donating the rest of the stuff we have and getting a tax deduction for 2006. We'll need all the deductions we can get this year!


Leggy said...

Good luck with the radiation.

It sounds like you have a good support network, that's there when you need them but understands when you just want to be alone.

Sorry about the inlaw troubles- I hope that some time away helps everyone clear their heads.

Dorcasina said...

One of the biggest challenges during my husband's illness was my in-laws. My husband had never had a particularly good relationship with them, and they were somewhat cold and stand-offish, as well as critical. But I have been surprised by how they grew during the ordeal, and while they are not people I would have chosen to have in my life (long story), we do have a closer relationship. I'd like to think they learned something from the ordeal, and from my husband's courage and his ability to be loving.

And I know what you mean about friends--mine are fabulous, but I also found myself having a hard time balancing them with my need for alone time. I have had to get much better at figuring out and expressing what I want (I am terrible at that, and generally choose to try to figure out what other people want). I've been relieved and grateful at how good my friends are at hearing "yes, I need company" or "no, we need some alone time." It sounds like yours are the same.

Finally, my husband never had any problems with radiation, but you do know that aloe (*without* added alcohol) is wonderful for any skin irritation that might occur, right?

thinking of the four of you--

Yankee T said...

You sound as though you are able to be firm with what you need, and I admire that. You'll need it, especially when the babies come and you have your hands full, literally and figuratively.
I'm thinking of you as the radiation happens. Lean on people when you can.

Emmakirst said...

Hope all went well with hubby's radiation. Take care.