11 March 2009

RushRushRush

I've been really busy at work, constantly behind, but not quite buried enough under piles of paper to justify bringing in a temp to help out. The situation stresses me out. No one expects me to do more than I can, but I still hate to miss deadlines. I've my nose to the grindstone, taking breaks only to eat lunch (I'm slurping soup between sentences while I write this entry) or send a quick e-mail here and there. Oh, and go to the bathroom, where I sometimes find  yesterday's underwear in my pants leg.*

I'm not usually in any rush to get to work in the morning, but last week and this week have been exceptions. When I start every work day off feeling behind, it's hard not to hear every tick of the clock as we get ready in the morning. The weekend time change means that the kids are (blessedly) sleeping until after 7:00 a.m., but their later waking means that I lazily get up later, too, and suddenly we have all the same things to do in the morning but much less time to get them accomplished.

It all came to a head this morning. I never actually lost my temper, but I was harried, short, and less than warm. Reasonable requests from the kids were met with a whiplash "No!" followed by a curt, "Fine" when I couldn't deal with the whining that came after the no. I spilled milk twice as I raced around to get daycare lunches ready. By the time we got out to the car, my back was so tight it felt like it was made of 2 x 4s. Or just one giant concrete slab.

We had a nice drive to school, with the kids singing along to Baby Beluga and saying all manner of cute things that I have since forgotten. It gave me some time to think about what I learned from my Morning of Hectic Craziness:

1. I need to get up at least fifteen minutes before the kids.
2. Rushing never helps anything.
3. If I say yes, I need to mean it and follow through nicely. If I say no, I need to mean it and deal with the consequences (also nicely).

Simple enough, right? Why, then, do I feel like these are lessons I've been learning over and over and over? Sometimes I am really quite slow.

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Lots of people have been to look at my condo. None of them have made offers yet. Grrr.

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In addition to being super-busy at work, I'm also dealing with some (potentially very exciting) unbloggable situations. I hope to be able to blog about them soon. They are not bad—quite the opposite—but they do take up time. 

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I haven't had time to fully process in the in-law visit, but overall is was quite good. For Maddie and Riley, the highlight was spending both mornings of the weekend swimming in the pool at the hotel where everyone stayed. I had told the kids they could go swimming, and they seemed excited about it, but they have never loved water and it was not at all clear to me that they even knew what a pool was. When we went over Saturday morning, my expectations were pretty low.

They adored the water. They had a blast floating around in some little inflatable boats I had from last summer, and they liked jumping from the side of the pool into my arms. Riley, a true lover of physical comedy, would laugh as though he'd never stop when his Uncle Al would go underwater and blow bubbles.

Here they are at the pool; in the image of Maddie, you can see Riley in the background getting some help from his Hatchi to get his trunks on. Such bathing beauties!

*When I pulled on my jeans to get dressed today, I got them all the way pulled up and was about to button them when I felt underwear from the day before yesterday stuck in the thigh. Yow. 'Tis my week for underwear mishaps.

49 comments:

Single Parent Dad said...

I like your three learned points, especially point 2. Calm and a few moments later is much better than rushed and stressed. Most people perform better under brisk calmness, and I trust you are no different.

Good luck with the unbloggable.

Anonymous said...

Ok, you need to stop rushing when you get undressed at night. Take your pants off, hang them up then take your undies off and toss in the dirty laundry hamper... Love the pictures of the kids at the pool. Probably time to start thinking about swim lessons... (yeah, another thing to add to your already hectic day)

Katie said...

Both your kids are completely GORGEOUS!! So nice to see them growing up!
I rarely comment but read all the time and send you good vibes too!

Anonymous said...

snick - which realtor are you using for your condo?

Karishma said...

lol lighten up, anon.

your kids are so cute, omg. truly adorable and gorgeous.

sending good vibes for the unbloggables! :)

Snickollet said...

Anon:

BOWES GMAC.

-snick

Alison said...

Wow - That Riley is gonna be a heartbreaker! He's too cute.

beyond said...

your kids looks beautiful!
can't wait for the unbloggable situation to become bloggable...

abernier said...

Excuse me for being so sentimental, but the photo of Riley getting help from his grandpa made me tear up. The chances to interact is such a gift that you're giving both your kids and John's parents. They must see their son/your husband in the kids, as you do, and it is surely a tremendous comfort.

What A Card said...

I hope things calm down a little soon!

And get that condo sold! I am sooo worn out by the whole selling process. Early today I just about broke down, ready to say "FORGET IT! We'll just live here forever!"

moonbaby said...

Your kids are so cute!

Pam said...

Snick,
Love the pics of the twins. Way too cute for words. Can't wait until the unbloggable becomes bloggable.
Pam

Anonymous said...

Those children *could not possibly be any cuter.* Seriously. ADORABLE. I can't even find the words to say how cute they are. Wow!

Shelley

Meika said...

Adorable, adorable kids. I loved the grandpa-helping-Riley pic, too.

Having had similar unpleasant mornings, I keep resolving to get clothes out and coffeepot set the night before since I KNOW I'm not going to drag myself out of bed earlier than the kids, but... eh. Maybe tonight. Probably not.

django's mommy said...

OMG. R & M are SO. CUTE.

I rush and yell in the mornings, too. Ugh.

I am excited to read unbloggable things soon!

Susan said...

Snick - trying to get kids rushing in the a.m. stinks - even when they are older - I love your points and yes, we all have to remind ourselves the same thing over and over - not just you! The kids are beautiful and happy. Your doing a great job.

spoiledonlychild said...

There is one hard and fast rule with young kids. The more you rush them, the slower they go. I know this from much experience. If only there was a patience pill I could buy.

Anonymous New York said...

M&R are so cute!! I can't believe how grown up they look!

Good luck with everything!

Steph said...

Such cutie pies. They look so grown up!
Glad to hear the weekend was a success with the inlaws.

And just wow - two days in a row with the undies in the pant leg thing! You take the prize sister!

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else out there see Snick hitting it off with that contestant on Idol -- I apologize for forgetting his name (a reflection on me, not him)-- the man who lost his wife and wears glasses?

Anonymous said...

De-lurking to say LOL on the underwear and also - yay, new pics of the twins! So freakin' adorable!

Jackie

Kerrie said...

Beautiful babies...they have grown up so quickly.

I'm so glad they had a great time with your IL's and that you have survived too.

I like your lessons learned this morning...you are wonderful at reflecting on the dynamics of a negative situation and how you can ensure it doesn't happen again. Bravo.

Pantheist Mom said...

These pictures of M&R make them seem so big!!!! They have always looked like babies to me, but they are definitely toddlers now, and very very adorable ones at that. What cutie pies and what happiness I see on their little faces.

Melissa in Grafton said...

Snick, your kids are so ding-dang CUTE! And they do resemble John quite a bit. Just adorable...

NanarocksWeen said...

Your children are so so so precious, Snick. Absolutely adorable :-)

Május35 said...

Wow they are soooo cute!

Anonymous said...

Okay, those are the two cutest little sea monkeys I have ever seen. Adorable!

Leslie

Alex said...

Your kids are gorgeous!! And I love Maddie's bathingsuit!!

MFA Mama said...

OMG they're not babies anymore! *sob* I've always thought R. was a little John-clone and M. was a little you-clone, and I stand by that. Wow. They're both gorgeous :)

caro said...

Wow - they're beautiful.

And I'm with you on relearning the same silly basic parenting lessons over and over. Last week, guess what I figured out? If you go swimming for an hour and then try to go to the grocery store afterwards without a snack, everyone will have a tantrum. Huh.

Also, congrats on moving in with your friend. It sounds like a fantastic solution.

mlg said...

I can't believe how old the kids are looking...

I always give myself at least a half hour before the kid gets up to have quite, alone, coffee time. On the days I don't get that she understands when I leave her in bed while I go and have "my time"

Rachel said...

Glad your time with the inlaws went well. The twins are adorable! And so big.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say that I think it is so nice of you to visit with your in-laws, despite it being difficult for you. I imagine that seeing Maddie and Riley is so unbelievably important to them, such a strong connection to their son. For some reason seeing Riley and his grandfather in that picture brought tears to my eyes.

You seem like such a nice person who works hard and makes good decisions, I really enjoy reading your blog.

shmo said...

Kiddos - gorgeous.

We've recently changed our AM routine so that I can spend some time with Jonah, which worked to my advantage today - Daddy went to quickly get him dressed, and he followed his emphatic "no" by climbing in his Little Tikes car and backing it in between his dresser and bed so as to be unreachable. Ha! Enter Mommy, who asked the same question, got a positive response (he even got out of the car on his own!) and had him dressed in under 5 minutes. Sometimes trying to rush just doesn't work, I guess. Mornings just need to be black holes of time - expandable when needed!

Shinyung said...

Your kids look so happy and healthy. You are a great mom. It's so obvious!!

Anonymous said...

what i like about your blog is you tell it like it is - that you get mad and yell and feel guilty and then do it all again - i do that too but not sure i would have the guts to write about it cuz "perfect mom's" dont do that - they have amazing patience... i will keep reading - just keep writing - maggie

Aimee said...

What beautiful babies!

Good points! All parents need to stop for a breather every now and again. It's good to regroup. Thanks for the reminder! :-)

Anonymous said...

Oh my, pretty children! They are just too beautiful......
Here's a few tips;
*Rushing is never speedy.
*Make all luches the night before - sandwiches made with frozen bread (left to defrost the next morn) are fine.
*Prepare all outfits the night before and lay them out on a chair.
*All bags by door the night before.
*Try to shower before kids wake.
*Do makeup at work if neccesary.
Good luck! x

winecat said...

I forgot to say what beautiful tiny creatures they are. Not still babies but not yet little kids. You are blessed and I know that John watches over all 3 of you every day

Anonymous said...

PLEASE stop yelling at your children.

Snickollet said...

Last Anon:

Clearly you did not read the post. I stated, "I never actually lost my temper." I never said anything about yelling.

No one likes to yell at his or her children. I think it's clear from my blog that I work hard to minimize the yelling. In this instance, I succeeded.

I will now give some unsolicited advice to you: please stop leaving comments that are not helpful.

-snick

Anonymous said...

Ma'am, if you put it out there, you can expect to get people's opinions on it. Therefore, it's ALL "solicited".

I know you think it's unhelpful advice but you just don't know how damaging it is to children to grow up with an parent with an excessive temper. I can clearly SEE your life is hard, but PLEASE find another outlet for your frustrations, as in, waiting until your young kids are out of sight to display that you are frustrated.

You post about this stuff for the public to read, and you allow comments, so I think you are being unfair to those who react to what you say in any way other than totally glowing and positive.

You are not a bad person nor a bad mother. But from what you write here, it worries some that your temper is pretty bad. Again, this is based on what YOU tell us.

Snickollet said...

Anon:

Let me point out again that in this instance I did not yell.

Feedback from readers is one of the main reasons I enjoy blogging. But your comment to "PLEASE stop yelling" was simply not helpful. Your second comment, in which you express concern in a more detailed way, was much more informative.

I welcome feedback, even feedback that is not "glowing and positive." I just think we can all be adults and have it be constructive and informed as well.

-snick

Anonymous said...

The initial comment meant no offense, just a personal plea about a critical issue, admittedly of importance to me as I worked extensively with children who had grown up in an environment of always walking on eggshells around a scary, bad-tempered adult and I witnessed the damage it did those kids as they got older. I always wanted to implore the parents that they NEED to step up and be the bigger person. I also know it's hard. But you HAVE to do it, hard or not.

For the record, I know you are trying. That's not going unnoticed, believe me. I just get emotional about this, especially when the person knows it's an issue for them, yet the behavior keeps repeating. I see no good reason for that because acknowledgment of a problem is halfway to correcting the problem. Yes, I know it ain't easy, but that's what therapy and anger management are for.

You seem to have a great head on your shoulders, otherwise. I wish you lots of luck in getting this one sticky spot worked out.

Snickollet said...

Thanks, Anon.

One last thing: for every one time I yell, there are 100 times, if not more, that I don't. I blog about the hard things, and the things that I'm working on, which means my readers get a very skewed view indeed of what I'm like. Most days are not yelling days, but you wouldn't necessarily know that from reading my blog.

Also, I'm in therapy and I work on lots of things. But one thing I know for sure is that I'm not perfect, never will be, and will do myself and my children a disservice by modeling or teaching that perfection is a worthwhile or attainable goal.

-snick

diana said...

Your children are beautiful.

I enjoy your blog. :)

Angela said...

It's so true, I also hate feeling rushed and hurried in the morning, and I'm super lucky because my husband actually does the drop off in the mornings with the kids. But getting breakfast and lunches ready(even though I do a lot of prep work the night before) still makes me feel stressed.
Btw, the twins are absolutely gorgeous.

amyinbc said...

Your children are gorgeous, but you knew that :) Good for you for making the effort to enable them to spend time with their grandparents. It must bring them much joy to be with their late son's children. Difficult for you at times but you are to be commended for helping it happen.

~ Jolene said...

oh my gosh - they are more precious than ever!!! Such beautiful babies! and they are not babies anymore! they are little people...gosh, they have grown up so fast. *sigh*