31 October 2008


I feel very sassy today. A night on the town will do that to a girl. Never mind that I am 36 and was at an event where a remarkably high percentage of the attendees were young enough to be there with parental chaperones, but whatever. Either I am young at heart or need to start acting my age.

Speaking of which, when is one too old to wear short skirts? I'm not talking super-short here, but above the knee. I just stood up and measured: from the top of my kneecap to the bottom of my skirt there is a four inch (approximately 24 pica, in the parlance of my industry) gap. I am short (5'2", not sure of the pica conversion), so this is a reasonable percentage of my thigh. Clearly, I don't think I'm in poor taste or I would not have worn the outfit, but should 36-year-olds be wearing skirts that end four inches above the knee? It is an orange corduroy skirt, and I have black tights on underneath. It's all in honor of Halloween, of course, and I'm wearing black boots, with a heel, all of which is adding to my already sassy demeanor.

[The next two paragraphs are about So You Think You Can Dance; skip them if you don't care.]
But back to being out on the town last night. It was so fun. I expected to enjoy the So You Think You Can Dance show, but it totally exceeded my expectations. Sitting in the fourth row really helped. It was awesome to be able to see the dancers' facial expressions; all of them are great performers. I'd forgotten about a few people, such as Thayne. Wow, is he boring! Poor Thayne. But on the flip side, I'd forgotten how much I love goofy, quirky Mark. And Kherington! She is so very pretty, just PRETTY, it's quite amazing. There was something a little wrong or ironic or just plain gross about the fact that I was quaffing beer and stuffing myself with a hot pretzel and cheese while watching these amazing human specimens perform physical feats of greatness, but perhaps my fervent cheering and brisk walk to and from the car constituted a workout?

In any case, I got to see all of my favorite dances from the season, plus many I had forgotten about, and it was just plain fun. I also enjoyed seeing so many families in the audience and wondering if someday that's the kind of thing Maddie and Riley and I might do together. How fun would that be? They would probably be seriously embarrassed by my SuperTwitch shirt, but hey, embarrassing your kids is a parental rite of passage.
[Thus endeth the SYTYCD commentary.]

Receiving a lovely e-mail from Mr. Coffee this morning, the first of this trip, is also contributing to my bouncy mood. He informed me that he's been thinking both "good and dirty" thoughts of me (naughty!) and that he will plan to see me "as soon as it is feasible." Then he signed it "Bisoux," the charming French equivalent for "XO." A nice way to start the day.

I'm planning to take the twins trick-or-treating this evening after school; after postulating that they had no idea what Halloween was, I went in their room this morning ready to explain why they would be going to school in costume. "Today is a special day!" I said. "It's Halloween!"

"OOOOOOOH! We wear costumes!" squealed Maddie.

I guess someone else explained it to them. This is what happens when your kids spend all day in the company of others and are at an age where they can't and don't tell you about everything that happens to them during that time.

I did teach Maddie and Riley how to say "Trick or treat!" which they found hilarious. Maddie was thrilled to put on her bee costume. Riley was hesitant about his ladybug garb. "I no wanna wear tights!" he protested as I tried to shimmy them on. "Oh, honey, these aren't tights. They are Special Black Pants!" Thankfully for me, he bought that line, although as soon as we walked through the door at daycare he said, "TAKE THIS OFF! I no wanna wear this costume!" So I might be trick-or-treating with a bumblebee and a . . . very cute little boy. My plan is to pull them around our neighborhood in their wagon and visit just a few friends. It's supposed to be a clear, relatively mild evening, so it should be fun to be out and about.

Happy Halloween, everyone. May the treats outweigh the tricks.


Single Parent Dad said...

Happy Halloween Sassy Snick.

Have a great one.

Anonymous said...

Sadly, you're missing out on many of the talks, explanations and learning lessons by not being with the twins.
You're apart during the day. You leave them repeatedly in the evening. You're, by your own admission, such a poor example of a parent/human that you need to "make it up to them" before you head out for the evening.

Try being an adult, drop the dating role and actually raise your children instead of paying or infringing on other people to do so.

Snickollet said...

Oooh, goody, my favorite Anon is back!

I've missed you.


J A Talbott said...

As someone about your same age & about your same height (or lack thereof), I don't see a problem with your skirt length, especially since you've got tights underneath. If you've got the legs for it, I say go for it. (I'm sure Stacey & Clinton from What Not to Wear would tell you the same thing.)

And for anonymous, shut up & go troll elsewhere. Being a working parent, much less a single one, is hard enough without ppl like you passing judgement....Snick, your kids will be much happier if you are happy then if you aren't, so don't give someone not even willing to own their comment a second thought. From where I sit, you're doing a great job with the twins and with navigating through a life you didn't ask for & never imagined you'd be trying to figure out.

Anonymous said...

Ok, I'm getting sucked in. Anon 14:15, STFU. The fact that Snick does not spend every waking moment with the twins does not make her a bad mother. The fact that she feels bad for sometimes being crabby, which is normal and human, does not make her a bad mother. Any sane, reasonable individual can see plainly that she's a wonderful mother. The fact that she has kids should not prevent her from seeking companionship. How is dating not 'being an adult'? Arg, this makes me angry.

Snick, don't listen to this, you rock. And Happy Halloween...will you post costume pictures? There's not much that's as cute as toddlers dressed as insects.


albe said...

I've never been motivated enough to comment before, but the comment from anonymous pushed me over the edge. Obviously anonymous is an asshat and should be ignored.

So in light of that, I just wanted to say what how much I love reading your blog every single day, and how inspired I am of your wonderful, open minded, thoughtful posts about parenting. I have b/g twins who are coming up on their first birthday and I love reading about your kids as a way to see the types of things that are coming up in the future.

What I especially appreciate, though, is those times when you share being frustrated or feeling less than perfect as a parent. Each time I breathe a giant sigh of relief and think, ok, it's not just me! Maybe it's actually normal to struggle with this! You share the struggle and your thoughtful approach to parenting shows just what an incredible parent you really are. I can only hope to do as good a job as you when I'm dealing with two frustrating toddlers.

Okay, I just wanted to counteract that crummy, stupid comment by anonymous.

Giovanna Diaries said...

Yep, you're officially at the age where you're gonna half to let them pick their own costumes out.
Maybe try switching them tonight and see what he says?
As for Anon....my eyes don't roll back far enough for you. Wish you had a sack and would actually post with an identity. Nobody here likes you. Go away! And speaking of Snick's parenting.....I beg to differ. It seems your mom didn't do such a hot job on you though...hence the desperate need for attention. Again, go away. You need therapy!

Sarah said...

Remember, girls, once you have kids that's it, your life is over; no more having fun! Until they're aged 18 or move out (probably in disgust at your overbearing need to be near them), you owe it to your kids to spend every waking moment with them. By all means, prevent them from becoming differentiated human beings! Tie those apron strings tighter every day!

Becca said...

Your outfit sounds adorable! I wish I lived somewhere that I could wear tights without roasting. Enjoy tonight and Happy Halloween!!

Donn24g said...

Happy Halloween, Snick. Anon #1-- totally clueless. Adults are aloud to have lives outside of thier kids. Women even have Jobs now, believe it or not! You have a great balance and are a role model for not only your kids but the rest of the world (included your readers!).

Post some pics of the trick or treating, little tots in costumes are the cutest!!

Goddess in Progress said...

Super sassy! I hope you and the kids have a fun Halloween.

Stacy and Clinton say "no mini-skirts over 35..." but I think Halloween is an appropriate exception. :-)

eingy said...

That first Anonymous person sucks. Large butts.

I came over from KM and MN's blog. I've been reading for a short while, but I wanted to comment because I love SYTYCD! It's my favorite show of the year, and I went to watch season 2 when they toured. :) I wish I could have gone to this year's.

Anyway, you seem like a wonderful mom! Don't let an anonymous creep bring you down -- and it sounds like from your sassy response that you haven't. :D Have a fun Halloween!

Kori said...

If you have the legs to wear a skirt above the knee, go for it-no matter how freaking old you are! Happy Halloween-and have a great time!

Cheryl Lage said...

Uber-Sassy! (Orange corduroy?!? LOVE the idea)

As far as the mini-skirt query, with black tights, all is fair on holidays and/or when feeling sassy.

I'm with Gio, try a switcheroo on the costumes and see if that doesn't help a smidge...if someone explained the concept of costumes, they may somehow perceive the "lady" aspect of ladybug. (They grow up so fast ;) )

Happy Halloween, Snick!

Cheryl Lage said...

And Snick, you cannot (and should not) be the only one teaching/talking to your kids...diversity of influence and education is a very, very good thing. This from a SAHM who is THRILLED when my kids share with me something they have learned OUTSIDE the confines of our home...your kids sound charming and communicate freely with you.

When I read that sentence about the "We wear costumes!" reveal, I smiled imagining what pride and glee you must have felt...don't let that be squelched by judgments from others. Your family is YOURS, no one else's. :)

Happy Halloween!

Anonymous said...

You'll remember that "Snickollet" is in therapy, Giiovanna so interesting connection there. Why are you not judgemental of her?

Apparently I'm the one who has some backbone to stand up and not just go with the masses. It's not that "Snickollet" isn't spending every waking moment with her kids. It's that she's not spending any time of substance with them - again, of her own admission.

So, before you start judging and throwing 'asshat' around, maybe you should take a step back and tell the truth. The fact is that children need their parents. They don't need them having adult sleepovers (at the twins' ages), they don't need the confusing influence of men parading in and out of their life at this time, they don't need the confusion of being raised by other people. If "Snickollet" is interested in raising her kids, she should do that. It's time to make some adult decisions and choices - unfortunately, she's continuing to put her own needs ahead of the kids' - sleepovers for herself, leaving the kids in the daycare provider's care, when she's had them all day (it's a wonder they don't figure that person as their mother!), parties and events where the twins aren't permitted ("So You Think You Can Dance"). I'm tired of mothers not being mothers. They want to hang on to their "youth" - well, it's time to grow up and actually BE a mother to the children you made the decision to bring into the world. Stop farming them out to other people to raise day to day.

Becky said...

I went to SYTYCD on Wednesday! It was amazing! You are so lucky that you were in the 4th row. Wow! I might have thrown myself on stage if I were sitting that close, though. Will *drool* is so beautiful.

OMG, you have to send photos of the kids in their Halloween garb. Have fun tonight.

Becky said...

P.S. Sorry about this loser anonymous person. S/he doesn't know what the hell s/he's talking about. You rock.

Anonymous said...

Arg, ok this anon needs to go away.

"It's not that "Snickollet" isn't spending every waking moment with her kids. It's that she's not spending any time of substance with them - again, of her own admission."

Do you actually read her posts? Yesterday's post was about the next 4 days, 3 of which involved very family oriented activities--the trick or treating and the trip to the farm. You need to stop reading from whatever warped glasses you're using.

"they don't need the confusing influence of men parading in and out of their life at this time, they don't need the confusion of being raised by other people"

Snick has addressed this more than once and is clear on the point that behaviour doesn't change if it's mr coffee or any other friend. To them, a friend is a friend. Period.

"parties and events where the twins aren't permitted ("So You Think You Can Dance)."
You've got to be kidding. Adults need to do things without their kids sometimes. It doesn't make them bad parents and it doesn't mean they don't love their kids.

"I'm tired of mothers not being mothers." This isn't the 1950's where women need to stay home and do nothing but be mothers. And again, do you read her posts?

After that post, I don't think asshat is strong enough.


kate said...

anon-15:29...you ARE an ASSHAT! you sound like a complete MORON! i'm sure your kids are spoiled rotten brats. you need to drag it. your comments are absurd and annoying to us readers that enjoy snick's blog. i'm sure she's not "parading men" in and out of the house. even if she was...its absolutely NONE of your business and its NOT your place to comment. i say BLOCK ANONS!!! have the guts to post your name!

Happy Halloween!!! you're doing a fabulous job!

Anonymous said...

Really, Anon 15:29, what's up? You're rude. You're judgemental..and come off as a very bitter person.Go away. Stay away.

"Asshat"...that made me laugh.
Happy Halloween!


albe said...

Sounds to me like anon is offering to bankroll Snickollet so that she can quit her job and spend her days raising her kids, so they can avoid the "confusion of being raised by other people." How generous of anon to provide the resources for Snickollet to do that, since it'd be impossible otherwise.

Anonymous said...

Anon, you clearly have a need to attack people and be attacked in return. Please indulge yourself by picking a fight on a political discussion board or something. This really isn't the place. (On top of everything else, you're getting boring -- the bit about being a "member of the family" a few posts ago was at least original).

As for you, Snick, Happy Halloween -- have fun with your little trick-or-treaters!


Susan said...

Snick - I think your outfit sounds cute. I like how one said, if you have the legs/why not? :) Fun! And that is what the first Anon needs in his/her life, some fun. But I like your attitude. Who cares. Hopefully it makes him/her feel better after she rights it so he/she doesn't take it out on their kids :)

Please let's see pics of those sweet children in their customes.

We are having beautiful weather in southern Michigan for a change. 65 and sunny.

Happy Halloween.


Anonymous said...

Whow... could it be that Anonymous (14:15) hasn't read ANY of your bolgs... yeah, probably. Too bad as he/she is missing out!!

amber said...

i'm glad you enjoyed sytycd so much! so much better than on tv, isn't it? :)

have a fun halloween with the kiddos!

s_ivan said...

Dear Asshat 14:15 and 15:29,

I just hope for your sake you're not someone who actually knew John. I think upon reflection you'll realize how disappointed he'd be to know you're out there.

Please go away.

Rose Connors said...

Short skirts, especially with tights: I say they're good at any age, provided you still have nice legs, which I have no doubt you do. I linked from et al after last reading here over a year ago; happy to see you and the kids doing so well. You're an inspiration. Also, I love your sexy mystery man.

Mary said...

OMG that anonymous needs to take a hike! I am so proud of you for going on dates and, basically, having a life! Youy have encouraged this working mom to go out on more dates wiht my husband, which I think is very important. Keep it up!

And I think the skirt issue is only an issue if you aren't wearning tights. Even then, unless you're 60, I think if ya got good gams, show em off! Tights are so dark they almost count as leggings. I am sure you look smashing.

Happy Halloween!

Angela said...

I do so love your so-called "workout"; I must agree when I saw SYTYCD in San Diego that I had the same misgivings; hence my parking spot at the very end of the last row, in fervent hopes of twinkle-toeing my way out the door (nevermind the sluggish walk back after all those nachos!) :)

Happy Halloween; my little Riley man is a mouse! :)

Lexie said...

Oh, I know, I know about feeding the trolls. But Anon, this is not a personal attack against you, this is my personal experience.

I'm a single mom of twins just a year and a half older than Snick's. I spent nearly every waking moment with them for about the first three years of their life. And you know what? It made ma a bad mom. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. They need breaks from me, I need breaks from them. They need outside influence/relationships besides me. I need outside relationships besides them. Finding the balance is tricky, and Snick, just like the rest of us moms, has to find her own balance. We are not all the same. But I am a better mom to my kids when I have breaks, an outside/adult social life, etc. They are better off when I do this. I am not the center of their world, their only strong tie and relationship, the only person they see all day whether I'm crabby, sick, tired, or happy.

After about the first year, it is the job of the parent to guide her kids to venture out further away from mom. This is exactly what Snick is doing and her kids are exactly the right age for this to start happening.

And yeah, have you even read this blog? Have you seen all of the things she does with them and the time she spends and the thought she puts into them?

I think you must be some misguided and disgruntled relation to John. Otherwise, why would you go on some stranger's blog and even care unless you are mentally ill. If that is the case, do you really think John would want you berating his wife for trying to manage her and her family's life in a healthy way?

Melissa in TN said...

I say go for the skirt.

I say anonymous needs to go somewhere else. He/she loves to rain on your parade. Arghhh!

Have fun and enjoy yourself. I'm glad you are feeling sassy (wish I were but I'm 6+ months pregnant).

Mr. Coffee makes me smile.

Melissa said...

Who IS that anonymous? Do you know her? I wonder why she cares so much about your choices and decisions. I won't call her an asshat, but Jesus, she sounds like a miserably unhappy person. I feel sorry for her.

carosgram said...

What Not to Wear says that after 30 no more short skirts. Happy Halloween

mary in australia said...

Floored at your second anonymous comment. thought it had to be a joke at first. But, moving on, just logged on to comments to say love your blog, admire you HUGELY - I could never handle your life situation with as much poise and grace and humour and and maturity and altogetheredness (sp!?)as you do. You deserve all the happiness in the world.
And the short skirt thing - when you're short, as I am (5'1"), I think just above the knee is a lot more flattering!

Joy said...

First of all, age limitations on what one can and cannot wear are passe. It's all about wearing it well. Second, how about we totally ignore the troll? He/she clearly thrives on the controversy and distracts from whatever we wanted to be talking about.

Judith said...

To anonymous: I do not curse you out because this is not my blog. I can tell you this though: get off the high horse, you moron. I pity your children if you have any.

To my sweet Snickolet: I wore short skirts until I was almost fifty (not for work though.) I was also kind of a ho. And you know what? I was a great mother and my twins, who are 35 now, are excellent human beings. I know yours will be too.

beyond said...

(i'm kind of hoping he wrote 'bisous' with an s, unless he was incorporating the anglosaxon 'xo' into it as a joke. sorry, i'm a translator)
i'm sure you looked great in the short skirt, i don't see why that would be inappropriate, especially with black (opaque?) tights.
i love that riley went trick or treating as a 'very cute boy', i'm sure he charmed everyone.

Snickollet said...


I'm afraid Mr. Coffee wrote "bisous" with an x. He's not much of a wordsmith, but I appreciate the sentiment :).


Melissa said...


You really are a sick fuck!

Sorry, but there are just no other words I could use.

Go screw yourself. Seriously.

Melissia said...

Snick, I too worry that Anon 14:15 is a close relative of John's that thinks you should sacrifice your remaining life on the alter of widowhood. My best friend's mom did this while we were growing up and basically gave up 20 years of her life. It was very sad to watch, and I am so glad that you aren't doing that, her children felt very guilty. And when her kids were grown and her in-laws dead, she was alone, very sad.

Diane said...

Ok anon 14:15, you're not an ass hat. You're a fuckwad. There. That better?

I also dated while a single parent. My children were young and my ex-husband was twisted as tightly as anon, so he wasn't in their lives. My boys are now 25 and 28, both happily married, college graduates, contributing members of society AND active church members. (Me, not so much.) Swallow your bile, anon. Thank Deity-of-Choice you're not running the world.

Anonymous said...

Just thinking what a little man Riley is becoming.

I guess gone are the days of wanting to wear the sparkly shirt if he's not excited about tights.

I was thinking of him being the little man of the house and feeling the need to protect his territory when you said he wasn't as excited as Maddie about sharing story time with Mr. Coffee.

Shazam! said...

First of all, I work with Snick and see her outside of work and I saw her cute outfit on Friday. I believe my words were "cute and sassy". All I could conjure up was socks with candy corns on them. She looked really cute on Friday!

Ok, there is going to be swearing so if you don't like it, sorry...I can't help it because this Anon person may be the biggest asshole. She sounds completely unhappy and the most uptight bitch ever. I'm constantly baffled by her crazy ass comments. So Anon, is everyone who doesn't have the luxury of staying at home with their kids because they have to work bad parents? Great, just what we need another rich, snobby person who leeches off their spouse and then criticizes people who have to use daycare. The other thing we don't need are kids that are 100% attached to their parent or parents who as adults can't be fully self-sufficient. Great more pussies in the world. Thanks for contributing.

You really have no clue what Snick does in her free time and how much time she spends with her kids so shut your fucking mouth. I see Snick 5 days a week and I would say 3 or even 4 days she leaves work and talks about taking the kids to the park to play or some other activity. Is that not quality time? She is ALWAYS doing something with them on the weekends. These kids are ridiculously happy.

So she went out on a Thursday night with two friends to see some dancing for a couple hours. It was a treat for herself. Holy shit!! A parent going out and hiring a babysitter for like 4 hours??!! That's fucking horrible! That like NEVER happens!! You're a jackass. Get therapy, get laid, or have yourself a stiff drink. You need it. Hell, you need ALL of it.

Anonymous said...


When your husband died, did you first say, "I'll never be with another person for as long as I live?" I've felt this way since Denise died, and don't think that I ever will date gain, as I have no desire. Plus, what we had was perfection and anyone else would pale compared to her. My friends, on the other hand think that I will ending up succumbing to the charms of some lady down the road. I've even had friends invite me to dinner parties with the intention of setting me up. Despite their best intentions, those dinner parties went badly for me, and were very uncomfortable.


Mama Mama Quite Contrary said...

Love the kids! They look great in their costumes.

As for the skirt, I think you are definitely not too old. The thing is I wear the same length because they actually look better on us shorter girls. (I don't think I'm deluding myself either.)

Now with YTYCD, I'm not a follower but as someone who saw 'N SYNC as an...ahem...older twenty-something, I think you are totally entitled to whatever fun you want!

Emmie (Better Make It A Double) said...

Short skirts are fine. They make it so much easier to moon asshats like Anonymous.

Watercolor said...

Skirt length.... well, with tights you are probably okay until you hit 40, haha, but not to work. Over 30 so I am told, generally, no shorter than just above the knee unless you have really long legs. Which I do not either, dangit.

Mothers should be well rounded WOMEN, anon. Then they are good role models for their children.

Anonymous said...

Ok, skipping all this other drama to say that I am SO jealous that you went to the SYTYCD show! I totally wanted to go, but couldn't find anyone willing to go with me, and I just wasn't willing to drive the 3+ hours to the closest show myself. I remember when you were debating watching it at the beginning of the season... glad you did!

Crash Course Widow said...

Ooooh! 4th row?? I'm so envious! I went with my sister and a college dance ensemble friend with SYTYCD hit Portland the end of September, and I'm not sure our seats could have been farther away! I could watch through the small binoculars I rather geekily brought, but it just wasn't the same as seeing them small but still alive and in person w/o the 'nocs.

You know, if you were wearing black tights and heeled boots, I wouldn't say it was too short. As long as you weren't showing your kootchy-koo and don't have thighs the size of Russia, how bad could it be? ;O Rock on with the sassiness, m'dear!

(And really, Commenter #2? What an ass! And how how would he/she propose that you pay to support and raise those two children if you weren't apart from them, WORKING, during the day? And I can tell you by personal experience that it actually makes you a better parent in person with them when you take some time to yourself, to maintain some balance in all the other parts of your life. Single, widowed parenting of toddlers (much less toddler twins) when you're still this relatively early in grief is so much worse and more difficult when you *don't* do those things for yourself! Love your sassy reply to him/her, btw, Snick. ;o))

Mama Nabi said...

You are sassy.

I love short skirts. I can't wear them in the summers here due to wind but can wear them with tights and coat over them. And you know I am 38... well, 40 if you want to round up. So yes. Wear short skirts. I hear they're back.

What's with the McCain air quotes around Snickollet? Poor example of parent/human?? Holy shit. I need to introduce the anon person to JackD. Oh boy, they'd deserve each other! He/she would have a field day with him, the epitome of bad parent/human. Asshat, meet asshat.

Kim said...

Delurking. Snick you rock. Every good parent recognizes the need to take time for themselves and its benefits. Regarding Anon, s_ivan said it best. However, I would also like to add that Anon should not be talking to anyone else regarding "backbone" until he/she is ready to nut up and identify themselves. I won't even begin to address your uneducated views on therapy and how it can benefit everyone, not just the mentally ill or judgment impaired.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps Anon. was the victim of abuse from someone his or her single parent was dating... if that's the case, I feel so very sorry for you. It always angers me when that sort of thing happens to children (let alone anyone). Please be assured Anon., that Snick obviously cares deeply about the twins and is being very responsible when it comes to whom she brings into the home.

Too bad 'Single Parent Dad' lives so far away... I think that they would be good together! ;-)