22 September 2008

You want more?

Than more you shall have. Here are the details on Date #4b.

Mr. Coffee left work early on Friday so that I could drive down to his house before evening traffic got bad (I took Friday off to hang out with my mom, so I was not constrained by work hours). And then he asked me to call when I got within a couple of blocks of his house so that he could be waiting outside for me.

His place is comfortable and welcoming, but clearly the Home of a Guy. He has a view of Costco. He is less organized than I would have guessed he would be. He has a huge flat screen TV and a fancy computer. No books! Not much stuff in general. Stuff drives me crazy. I like some minimalism in my life.

I was nervous. "Why do I make you nervous?" he asked. "Because I like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't care."

There was wine. There was cheese. He would put cheese on crackers for me and tell me in detail what each cheese was. I found that adorable. There was a fireplace! There was much talking: Peace Corps stories, stories of what we were like in high school.

Kissing ensued. There was a brief discussion about how it was about dinnertime, but we agreed that dinner could wait.

Dinner waited. Dinner waited quite a while.

Eventually there was dinner. Dinner was delicious. It involved chicken and preserved lemons. Preserved lemons! Yum. People who cook with preserved lemons are not messing around.

There was a lot more talking at dinner. In fact, he did most of the talking at dinner. I learned a lot about him, and after feeling like I'd often monopolized the conversation, it was nice to sit back and listen.

He made me a coffee after dinner, which involved a lot of effort because I wanted decaf and he thought he didn't have any, but after a lot of digging around he found some, and the details of why it took forever to make it are boring, but the point is that he went the extra mile and I appreciated it.

We went to bed by 10:00 p.m. And we were both asleep by 10:30. Wild! Crazy! I know! Insanity.

He seriously has the World's Most Comfortable Bed. "I love this bed. I am going to invite myself over a lot to sleep in this bed," I said. "The invitation is always open," he replied.

He is a snuggly sleeper. He does not snore. He has perfect pillows. I slept really, really well.

Of course, I woke up at 6:00 a.m. because I always wake up at 6:00. I enjoyed not getting out of bed. At 6:30 Mr. Coffee's BlackBerry went off and he leapt to attention like he'd heard a gunshot. That made me laugh.

At 7:00, we got up long enough for him to make us cappuccinos which we proceeded to drink in bed while playing games on his iPhone. We are both competitive.

He had to leave at 8:30 to go pick up his daughters for the day and I needed to get back to Maddie and Riley. We walked out together. We'll see each other sometime this week, then he leaves for almost two weeks for a work trip. Bummer. Absence makes the heart grow fonder?


Anonymous said...

Sounds perfect.
Almost too perfect.

I'm sorry. I can't help it. I saw the new Coen Brothers movie this weekend. I'm scarred by it! George Clooney's character was an avid online dater.

SupersammyG said...

I love it, I love the lemons, the coffee, the pillows. I love it all. I was sad knowing we wouldn't get the full story all weekend. We were near the water park and I almost made Shazam drop over to say Hi. Hope we get some good water park stories soon. So glad the date went well. Can't wait for date 5.

Astrogirl426 said...

Le sigh (sigh).

Sniff - made me a little sniffly, but good sniffly :) I'm SO happy for you :)

Absence certainly makes the heart grow fonder. And some cute, sexy emails don't hurt a damn bit :)

Yay yay yay :))))

Megan J. said...

Congratulations on a perfect-sounding date!
Dont let idiotic anonymous posters get you down. You are living life after a tragedy and you are doing a fantastic job as a single mom and woman.
You deserve to have adult companionship on a friend level, romantic level, or any level you want. Humans crave it, it is natural.
Your husband will always be a part of your life, the good memories, wonderful marriage and especially because of your wonderful children. However, your life didnt end when his did entirely too soon. He would have wanted you to be happy and fulfilled, all who who love want that for those we love.
I applaud your strength and giving love and life a second chance. I think you have handled everything gracefully and wonderfully.
You rock!!

Anonymous said...

What a delicious sense of anticipation you are going to enjoy while Mr. Coffee is away!

Ah ... new love! *sigh*

... leslie

kris said...

i just saw a recipe in either food and wine or bon appetit with chicken and preserved lemons. yum is right! the hole evening sounded yum!

Watercolor said...


FingKASIL said...

You had me at "he doesn't snore."

I think the timing on the business trip is ideal. He will miss you, and you him, and the two of you will get to enjoy a romantic reunion.

BethanyWD said...

Megan J. is right on - you deserve adult companionship. I love hearing these lovely stories, and to hear joy in your "voice".

Karyn said...

Dude, that sounds awesome! I'm so happy for you! And, I feel lame: what is a preserved lemon and how does its taste compare to that of a regular lemon?? It's bizarre to me that someone who sounds so cultured doesn't have many books. But maybe that's just my weird assumption... Sounds like a great, great night and morning. Thanks for letting us live vicariously through you!

Rev Dr Mom said...

Not to digress from the topic at hand...but he has a Blackberry AND an iPhone?

Anonymous said...

LOL! I was wondering the same thing about the iphone AND the Blackberry too!!!

Sounds GREAT! So happy for you!

-Not THAT Anon

edie & ella said...

I am sure you have asked this question because it is VERY important.....

does he watch American Idol???

beyond said...

i have been reading your stories since before you lost your husband. i am glad things are going so well for you. i truly think john would want you to be yourself and be happy. seems like you're on the right track!
(guys just really like gadgets, it's so strange. my husband would buy a new gadget every week if i let him, and he's not even very geeky.)

Silver said...

Sounds like a nice evening. Hope he continues to be a great guy to you, you deserve it!

Rebecca said...

Snick, you know I'm a military wife so I have some experience with this "absence" thing. Not only can it make the heart grow fonder, but reunions... SO worth it. :)

He sounds wonderful, and it's inspiring really to see you starting a new chapter in your life.

Snickollet said...

Rev. Dr. Mom and others--

BlackBerry for work; iPhone for personal use. This compared to my stooopid and solitary cell phone that doesn't even have a camera!


Snickollet said...

Edie & Ella--

Not sure about Idol yet, but he has 14-year-old daughters, so I'm guessing he at least knows what it is!


Single Parent Dad said...

Reads absolutely beautifully, what a perfect date and gentleman, there's very few of us left you know!

Good luck with number 5.

Anonymous said...

You are living my life right now, and I demand more details!!! If you want to send them to me privately - all the better!!! LOL - only kidding... No Snoring - WOW - last time I had one of those he was 18 years old....
So happy for you. Take your time, live a lot, think of everything you've got, you are young, there's no rush, just be happy.

Steph said...

So, so awesome! I find myself savoring these stories about your dates with Mr. Coffee!
It's funny - it reminds me of when I met my fiance online. He cooked for me, he had a 'guy place' that had little clutter, he had the Blackberry and 2 cell phones, he had the comfortable bed.
I'm so happy for you.

Jenbuster said...

I'm so glad that you've found someone who you really like and who obviously is a good first person to date for after John. I'm so happy for you!

Cynthia said...

Absolutely perfect. I am so happy for you (I typed US by mistake! I was thinking about you & all of us lucky Blog readers!).

Giovanna Diaries said...

Ohhh Snick! Sounds like he's a good catch.
So I have to ask? Have you changed your profile status on the online dating website?
And....do you even know how lucky you are that he doesn't snore.
He's a keeper!

Nine said...

I'm just so happy for you!

I met my DH online, so I'm an avid supporter of on line dating. I hope this keeps going strong!

Jen said...

Dude.. he has a blackberry AND an iphone? he's a keeper!

my guess is that he doesn't have books because he reads them and then passes them on to those who don't have the means.. well.. or he just likes the library.

so glad he's not a snorer.. those suck. (i'm one of them!.. poor shiel!)

it was great seeing you this morning.. you were beaming. the combo of mr. coffee, a vacation for riley, and some time with moo really works for you!

Nancy said...

Too funny - I just blogged about hubby snoring. Mr. Coffee is definitely a keeper if he doesn't! I mean, those other things all sound nice and everything, but wow...he doesn't snore???

Sounds like you're in deep smit :D

Anonymous said...

Like almost everybody else in the free world, I'm so happy for you. I'd love to hear more about Mr. C's backstory. What kind of job? How long has he been divorced? Has he dated much before? Are either of you open to dating other people now, or have you agreed to be exclusive? What was your mom's reaction? It's just so much fun to know you're having so much fun.

jenn said...

I LOVE your date posts! Total vicarious fun!

Sucks that he'll be gone two weeks, but think how delicious it will be when he comes back... plus, flirty phone calls, texts, and emails ... mmmm...

Katherine said...

Yes, we wanted more! What a great date. I can't believe how happy reading about YOUR date has made me. Plus it's giving me the courage to dip my own toe in the online dating pool. Thanks for encouraging this lonely widow.

I predict that you'll often have a sexy smile on your face over the next couple of weeks as you remember your great time together. I also predict a HOT reunion when he returns.

Melissa said...

Yay. Yay. Yay!!!


Lyndsay said...

wow... I don't even know what preserved lemons are!

did he have clean sheets for you?

Lindsey said...

I will also have to ask, what are preserved lemons? Your romantic date story makes me want to plan a date night with my husband that doesn't involve any chores or bill paying!

Snickollet said...

Preserved lemons are lemons that have been pickled in salt and their juice. Delicious! Here's how you can make your own:


Sandi said...

I'm a Neanderthal. What are preserved lemons and where do you find them?

Anna said...

What a lovely date! I am so glad this is going well. I am so happy for you! :)

Annie said...

Hey, no fair, you left out the most important detail: WHAT DID YOU WEAR? for the date and to bed ;)
So happy for you!

Kady said...

The cincher has to be the super comfy beds. They are a rare find in and of themselves, but the fact that apparently you and Mr. Coffee have the exact same taste in bed firmness? Wow.

You go, girl.

Kady said...

The cincher has to be the super comfy beds. They are a rare find in and of themselves, but the fact that apparently you and Mr. Coffee have the exact same taste in bed firmness? Wow.

You go, girl.

amber said...

fabulous recap!

i think that if he has a blackberry for work stuff and that work stuff means he's chained to it (and jumping out of bed when it goes off in the AM counts), i think you're okay to refer to it as the "crackberry." ;) that is the official name for it in my house, especially after i've woken up to find my husband snuggling with it.

after being in a long-distance relationship for 3 years (boston to LA), i can indeed tell you that absence does make the heart grow fonder. doesn't make the time apart suck any less, but yeah, the reunion is always really fabulous! :)

so so happy for you!

moo said...

so, so happy for you!

silene said...

Date #4b sounds like heaven. I am just thrilled for you. Hoping the next 2 weeks fly by and you get to sleep in that comfy bed again before you know it.

And I loved your message to the Anon commenter in your last post - ha! You seriously rock.

Anonymous said...

A blackberry & an iPhone? hmh?

(does that make me a techniqeek, that that's what I noticed :-).

Crash Course Widow said...

I'm so glad for you that date #4b went so well!

Isn't that intimacy after widowhood just AMAZING?? It's so bizarre and wonderful and awesome and amazing and feels downright NORMAL. Even if it's just short-term or temporary, it's so affirming to be reminded you can still feel like the "old" you, from before your spouse died.

I felt so amazing (so sorry that I'm not able to come up with a better word; I feel far too repetitive, but it's the only word that fits and comes to my widda mind right now =)) when I dated my friend last year. Those first few months were INCREDIBLE. I could almost pretend like widowhood had never happened.

Reality, of course, eventually stepped back in, right along with the grief, and then it all got crappy again. But in that interim...it was fabulous.

Enjoy, relish, and savor every second of it! You deserve it, especially after everything you've gone through these last few years.


kimberly/tippy toes said...

It sounds pretty close to perfect!

Anne said...

I love it! So happy for you. Thanks for letting nosy ol' me in on some more date details. Keep 'em coming.

Tiffany said...

Sounds wonderful!!@

Mama Mama Quite Contrary said...

Whoa... preserved lemons. That IS saying something. (I had a friend give me a jar of them once and I felt totally overwhelmed by their presence in my culinary-challenged life!)

Anyway, thanks so much for the details! Glad it went so well and can't wait for more dates!

What A Card said...

Wow, he sounds great. Well, everything but the no books thing, but I guess nobody's perfect :)

So when is he going to be introduced to your book group? We'll browbeat him into reading...something!

OTRgirl said...

It sounds fun. It must be wonderful to have hours of adult conversation without interruption (among all the other enjoyable elements).

(No books?)

Strawberry_Lamb said...

Fab-u-lous! great this is better than a good Marion Keyes novel. I'm so happy for you and each entry that I read I think to myself, you so deserve this, it's the right time.

Fairlington Blade said...

He uses preserved lemons? You've got a keeper! [And I want the recipe. I love the lemon chicken from Cooks Illustrated, but that sounds verrrry interesting.]

On absence. When dating my wife, she was out of town about half the time. We had our first date date (after a couple of pseudo-dates, thanks Snick!) two days before she left for 6 weeks. We got into a routine of being together nearly every night when she was in town and emailing constantly when not. It was great. Actually, my wife had a dry run of work shortly after we got married and it was kinda weird that she wasn't leaving.

So happy for you.


Ali said...

Love it! Glad it all went so well. Snuggly is good! Thanks for the details.