20 September 2008

Date #4b: Good, Very Good

We're off to the water park, so no time to say more than that Date #4b was excellent. Mr. Coffee can cook! Mr. Coffee has good taste in wine (not that I'm hard to impress)! Mr. Coffee makes an excellent cappuccino! Mr. Coffee has the World's Most Comfortable Bed! Mr. Coffee is just an excellent host.

And even though I know better, I have to say this: to Anon. who wonders if I'm properly honoring John's memory by sleeping with someone on the third date: How would you feel if I told you that I slept with John on our second date? And that we moved in together (unmarried) after we'd known each other for three months?

111 comments:

alessandrastarr said...

I slept with my husband before we even had an actual date. We moved in together after a month, were engaged after 3 months and married after a year together. We'be been together for 4 years. Anonymous needs to butt out.

Astrogirl426 said...

I didn't have sex with the hubs until the third date ('cause I'm all virginal that way), but we did Everything-But on the first date (still makes for a good story that we can't tell anyone) lol

Only you can decide how to honor John's memory. And for anyone to question how you do that is just...well, there are no words. I think welcoming love back in your life is a perfect way to honor your love for John.

Anonymous said...

I just wish you happiness, from wherever it comes. Can't help but think your mom felt the same way.

(clearly, not the same anonymous)

jenn said...

Went to bed with my husband on our FIRST date. Whatever.

Woo-hoo! A comfy bed AND makes capuccino? You may have a winner on your hands, Snick.

tousquireste said...

You are so kick ass, in so many ways.
Keep kicking ass, and enjoying what sounds like an awesome dude.

Jamie said...

Only you can know how to honor John. My opinion for whats its worth and from what I know about you your relationship with John. (which is limited to what you can learn reading a blog) I am sure all he wants for you and those precious babies is happiness and peace. If you are finding that with Mr. Coffee then yeah for you.

P.S. My husband was a total rebound booty call.... It all works out the way its supposed to.

Anonymous said...

You rock.

... leslie

django's mommy said...

Huzzah! YAY for good cooks, good beds, good hosts. Love all of it.

I personally am a big fan of having sex early in the relationship, so I am going to say that if you *really* wanted to honor John, you should have schtupped Mr. Coffee much earlier.

;)

giggles said...

who care what anonymous thinks. All that matters is you are doing what feels right for you and those babies. Tell anon to bite one.
Have fun!!

Lauren said...

Who cares what anonymous thinks? The rest of us are thrilled beyond belief for you!!!!

Mama Nabi said...

Comfy beds do make the rocking world go round! Hurray for Mr. Coffee.

Waiting period before sex mandated by an anonymous coward? Yeah, I say, shove it...

Tigger said...

Pish! Posh! :) You and you alone know how you feel, and if you feel you're ok then you're ok. For anyone else to make a judgment on you is just WRONG! I, for one, am happy to see you getting out again!

As for when my husband and I slept together? Well...we were determined to be bed buddies and nothing more. He came over for dinner and just...never left. This coming Friday we celebrate 5 years of marriage. :_

Goddess in Progress said...

WOOT! Glad it was a great date. And clearly we could all give a crap what anonymous thinks. If it feels right to you, rock on with your bad-ass self.

JoJo said...

I slept with my husband before we were dating.
In fact, I slept with him more times than I can count before we even admitted we were in a relationship. Nine years later we're still going strong.
Point is, who gives a rat's ass about what anonymous thinks about how you honor your husband's memory?? Living your life and caring for your children honors him every day...but you already knew that.

Enjoy your newfound happiness! You deserve it. I can't wait to read more about how it all unfolds. And yay for comfy beds!

D. said...

I can't stand people who are so puritanical about sex! Sex is such a natural and normal thing to do.
Good for you that you are comfortable with your body. I am so glad that you found someone who makes you happy!

pwoodtx said...

As a long time reader, who is old enough to be your Mom, and I say seize your happiness. You deserve it!
Patty

Little Read Hen said...

Screw Anon.! Good for you. Enjoy yourself and the newness and the happy. (And the childcare...).

Moving ON with your life is honoring the person you lost.

Rock on.

Watercolor said...

So glad you had a wonderful date!! :) Woohoo!!!!!

Christine said...

Awesome - sounds like Mr. Coffee is just awesome. I am very excited for you - the beginning stages of a relationship is so wonderful! All the little tummy flips and secret smiles. :)

I'm Still Me said...

So glad your date went well!

Stupid Anon. should get a life rather than telling you how to live yours.

Megan said...

For every pious anonymous out there who feels the need to 1. hide behind anonymity when offering her moral guidelines and 2. can't just let others live their lives as they wish ... know there are plenty of us non-anons who are happy for you, have no judgment (not that you're doing anything judgment worthy, imho), and only want you and the twins to be happy, happy, happy!

girlh said...

i'm betting money anon is voting for the mc/palin ticket.

after reading the comments, doesn't seem like your the sluttiest out here in blogstonia. i too slept with my hubs before our first date...in fact, MANY times before our "first date" so there. ;)

mlg said...

Does Mr. Coffee have a sister? I could sure use a Ms. Coffee who is equally as fabulous!

Betty M said...

He sounds very fabulous that Mr Coffee. I am hoping that there is one over here for my sister who is in roughly the same position as you.

Anonymous said...

Screw anon! I slept with my husband on our first actual date. For our second date, I got an airplane and flew across the country to meet him in L.A. (I lived in NY) where he was on a business trip, and we spent a weekend together in a hotel. We just celebrated our 10th anniversary.

I'm so thrilled for you. My father died when I was quite young. My mother was about your age when my father died, although they married very young, so they got to have 15 years together. My mother "honored" my father's memory so much that she remained completely single for the rest of her life (well, she is 76, I suppose it is never too late to start dating). I can guarantee you that if my mother were reading your blog, she would tell you that the best way to honor your husband is to live your life the best and fullest way that you can. She definitely regretted her choice later in life.

Jeannie

twingles said...

LOL on your comment to anon.

June said...

Snickollet: I'm one from the 'older' generation that was taught you don't sleep w/anyone until you truly KNOW your partner/date is THE one for you. I've lived my life abiding by that training, & I'm here to tell you...even those of us from the 'older generation', have learned a few 'tricks' ourselves. Just b/c this 'restriction' was in place when we were growing up does NOT mean we can't decide for ourselves when the time is 'appropriate' for us to engage in something different. I say, more power to ya. Most of us are decent human beings who want the very best life has to offer, not only for ourselves, but for our children too. You ARE a RESPONSIBLE, SENSIBLE ADULT, & sounds like Mr. Coffee is as well. What works for one may not work for another. It's a decision we have to make INDIVIDUALLY. I certainly WILL NEVER pass judgment on anyone who feels they are ready to take relationships a step further, seek happiness in every respect, & move on with life to the fullest. I've learned many people from my 'generation' have changed their mind about what is/is not acceptable in order to live a life full of love & happiness. I admire you ..you are a beautiful person, & fantastic mother. I say 'you GO, girl'! Enjoy life to the fullest in EVERY aspect!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for taking the time for the quick blog. Such is the dismal state of my dating life that I spent time today wondering how YOUR date had gone and when you'd have time to tell us. Thanks for not keeping me in suspense!

To girlh--I'm anon (but not THAT judgmental anon) and am for McCain. We're not ALL small-minded and judgmental.

mom to three great kids said...

Well...time for confessions...i slept (Shhhh don't tell my mother)with my husband on our first date and we've been together now over 9 years and a little daughter later ...we are still going strong....enjoy!!!

Elspeth said...

I'm just so happy for you ... we all need love, companionship, tenderness, care ...

Molly said...

If you know what you want, and you are a good judge of character (you seem like you are both), then you don't need to wait till some arbitrary time to do anything, sex, marriage, kids, whatever. It sucks that anyone would comment anonymously to the contrary.

Lizard said...

you honor John's memory every day by loving him, which you clearly still do, and by being the twins' best mom. you also honor him by taking care of yourself so you can continue to be the twins' best mom.

anon needs to keep his or her personal morals to his or herself.

I know this is good for both you and Mr. Coffee.

Giovanna Diaries said...

My eyes don't roll back far enough to Anon's comment. Who knew your happiness would put her panties all in a twist!
Life goes on....and yes, that does include your sex life.
Deal Anon!

Cheryl Lage said...

Oh Snick, I am so happy that you have found someone that is bringing you much deserved joy (sexual and otherwise!)

AND, at the risk of "outing" myself politically, not all McCain voters are so judgmental! ;)

Enjoy the ride of a new and seemingly wonderful relationship.
(Does saying "enjoy the ride" does that make me slutty? ;) )

Claudia said...

My hubby and I have never spent a night apart (aside from work-related travel) from our second date on. Do whatever makes you happy.

Mr. Coffee sounds like a keeper.

Tiffi33 said...

I met my husband when I was 17 and slept with him on our 3 or 4th date..
I am 33 now and we are happily (mostly..heh) married.

you do what you feel is right..

and a bed is always more comfortable when you have someone to share it with!!

YAY for an awesome date!

Marie said...

No one can walk in your shoes; therefore no one has a right to tell you how you should honor John's memory. I have been eagerly waiting for an update and am so glad to hear that you had such a wonderful time! You deserve ALL the best! Can't wait for a full update; we are getting a full update, right!??? :)

Gandalf's Sisters said...

Again....I am so happy for you! As for anon....well whoever the hell they are they can go eff' themselves. I'm sorry but - honor John's memory - what the hell does that mean? No disrespect Snick - but really - while this has everything to do with you - I don't understand how this has anything to do with "honoring" John. You honoring John is your own personal business - blog or not - this has absolutely nothing to do with cappucino man.

I agree with astogirl426 - "welcoming love back in your life" is the biggest way to honor John - but that's not my business!

You go lady! Happiness is not something we are guaranteed - its something we pursue.....life, libery, and the pursuit of happiness. I'm glad to see you pursuing it! Kisses!

Pam said...

Snick
I am so happy for you. I am another person voting for McCain/Palin and I am not close minded either. I think you give a lot of hope to people who lose their spouses early in life that there IS hope for happiness again. I know I don't know you IRL, but I am so glad you put yourself out there again and have found Mr. Coffee.
I am also one who slept with my now husband on our third date and moved in with him three months later.
Hope you enjoy your vaction and Riley gets the rest he needs. Ha ha.
Pam

Melissa said...

Snick -- Anon. can kiss your a$$!

When there's chemistry between two people, the number of dates they've had doesn't matter. It is what it is, and it will be what it will be. If it feels right and it clicks, then most people usually act on it (except for our poor ol' dried-up friend Anon., I suppose).

Yay for you!
Hugs,
m

Caustic Cupcake said...

I believe that honoring John's memory and sleeping with your new boyfriend are mutually exclusive.

How was the circus?

Rachel said...

So happy for you!

Anonymous said...

I say you honor John's memory by taking care of the person he loved so much. Having a family that has been nearly destroyed twice by AIDS, I still think you should get to know someone better before becoming intimate. You will notice that I said this may very well by your time to move on---I just have concerns about disease.

Rachel said...

I get the feeling that you wouldn't do anything that you thought would "dishonor" John without giving it some thought, and certainly wouldn't repeat that action if you thought it was bad on any level. Tell "Anon" to blow it out their pooper.

edie & ella said...

Hi there......I am a long time lurker and I love love love your blog. Thank you so much for the update this morning....I was dying to hear how it all panned out. I just have to butt in with my 2 cents for anon....1.) if you don't like it don't read it...it's none of your business. 2.) it sounds like you (anon) could stand to get laid!!!

Stacy said...

Anon can climb a wall of dicks. And she would most likely be more pleasant afterwards.

I am so happy for you and I apologize for the salt of my tongue.

Anonymous said...

To the open-minded people who are voting for McCain/Palin - can I ask you please, please, to think hard about your vote? Obama has a better tax plan and a better health plan. And the country desperately needs a change.

To Snick and Mr Coffee - strangers on the Internet cheer you on!

Gracie said...

Long time lurker, finally coming out on my own! I am extremely happy for you and Mr Coffee, he sounds wonderful and charming. I think most of us can say we have done the deed with our significant others quickly on... I know I did. And here we are, 6 yrs and twin boys later... whouda thunk.

Keep up the good work, I read daily, with you being a twins mom and all. Our kids are a couple of months apart in age, so I actually am learning stuff from you.

Lisa said...

Hey, It took me 15 years to sleep with my current boyfriend. Not that this is advisable! So whatevs.

Hee Hee,though. I know we aren't supposed to feed trolls, but sometimes it just too easy.

JK said...

Do what works for you! I would have slept with husband sooner, but he wanted to wait.... but we did everything but... ;-) it was fun.

Ah, new relationships are fun! Enjoy!

Laura said...

new commenter here but regular reader.
i must say that i am happy for you. i don't see you dishonoring john in any way. i thinbk you have missed him terribly and mourned in a way that honors the father of your children. i would imagine he would be happy to know that you are finding a little bit of happiness now.
much luck to you in your growing relationship with mr. coffee.
anon's opinions really have no weight or value whatsover since anon doesn't have the balls to leave a name. ignore the troll and enjoy your life! you deserve it.

Jenny said...

You go girl! Snick I'm delurking here to tell you that you deserve happiness. Cheers to Mr. Coffee...enjoy him!

Anne said...

First off, I am so hurt that anyone would have the balls to say that to you. Then I realized they said it ANONYMOUSLY, so hey, great job, coward.

Second- you have done nothing to dishonor John's memory. You have been very open and honest in allowing us all to share this time with you, and it just stinks that someone said that. But your comeback was perfect.

Kissing is good. Making our bodies feel good is good. Companionship is good. And if Momma is happy, everyone is happy.

Keep on sharing. And hooray you!

winecat said...

Sex - first date, together ever since. 22 Years last March.

Anonymous mind your own business

Amy said...

So glad to hear your 'sleep over' went well!

Allegro said...

I don't know about all these people sleeping with their dates after a date or two.

After my first date with my husband there wasn't much sleeping going on at all.

You people need to drink more coffee!

;) Its so nice to see how happy you are.

CassJustCurious said...

I lurk, therefore I am...but I had to comment because Sweet Jebus can't you just tell that the annon needs a good sleepover????

Victoria said...

I gave it up on or around or 2nd or 3rd date, and we were married within 6 months of our first meeting. 8 years later and 3 gorgeous kids, I'm back to being single thanks to the damn motorcycle, but I wouldn't change any of it. Does Mr. Coffee have any single, cute friends? I could use a dinner date over here!

LadyBug said...

I slept with my husband on date one lol, moved in by the next day, engaged 10 days later, and married 5 months after that...we will be married 9 years next July! Anon BUTT OUT!

Happy4u said...

I have never posted before but am extremely thrilled for you. Good for you! You owe no explanations to anyone, go with your heart. I think you have given so much of yourself in teh last few years that you deerve this. You go girl!

Melissa in TN said...

There always has to be someone who is critical. Arghhhh! It is certainly not anon's business if, when or who you sleep with. The way I see it is that you have had enough saddness to last a lifetime. You deserve some attention, affection and happiness.

I was going to write that you shouldn't let anon get you down. I don't think I have to worry about that.

Anonymous said...

Yay for sleepovers :)

Our first date we made out like horny teenagers; second date we screwed like horny adults. And he still respected me in the morning LOL

stacey said...

Snick,
Anon is selfish to want you to continue to morne and pine for a husband who'll never come back to you. You love John and he loved you but life is for the living. If the situation were reversed I'm sure you would want John to start living again. And that's what it is, living again. I hate the term "moving on" it's like you're leaving someone behind. We can never leave the people we love behind, we just start living again and we carry them with us in our hearts.
I'm glad you're living again and John is glad you're living again. Be strong and happy with your decisions and be kind and forgiving of Anon, he/she is obviously still hurting and having a harder time making the next step in working through their grief.
We all need happiness in our lives, I'm glad you've decided to go find some.

::::wifemothermaniac:::: said...

I'm a fairly new reader of your blog, and before this post I've been an admirer of just how devoted you were to your husband, and I can feel here in this blog of yours how much you have honored him. I'm going to guess that your husband wants nothing more than to know you are happy and alive, and living as a happy and alive woman in every capacity that you can, and should. You are alive, there is no shame in honoring yourself as much as the memory of the husband you loved, and will always love very much. tsk tsk anon.

Silver said...

So glad you had a great date!

Michele A said...

And of course, it has to be ANONYMOUS who is a party pooper. What a coward.

GO for it, Snick. You deserve it!! And I agree with previous posters who had the same thought as me...YOU ROCK! And if I see your mom before I see you, I'll be telling her how damn cool she is.

You go on with yo bad self. *giggle* I'm just so stinking happy for you!!!! You know John is smiling down on you. You know it. He would only want for you to be happy. XOXO Moosh (who somehow forgot her blogger login so is now Michele A....how formal!!)

Anonymous said...

I would say GOOD for you! I wish you HAPPINESS!!!

Anonymous said...

Ya know more and more studies show that sex is the best thing for you ...complete with headache & tension relieving qualities.
So obviously, someone criticizing such a wonderful, non-drug, magic cure-all is narrow minded twit intent on making others as miserable as they are. L A M E!!
Enjoy yourself (safely of course!) and know that you are taking care of yourself (the studies prove it).
Many well wishes your way.
-not *that* anony

Melissa said...

yea for you!! screw what anon say.. she just needs to get laid herself! The best way to honor John is to live a happy life and that is what you are doing!!!

Strawberry_Lamb said...

Great this is progress, I've been out of touch for a while back came back to read that you are on Date#4 with sex! Fabulous! I wish you all the best and welcoming this new chapter in your life, I'm sure John is happy for you.
Can't wait for the updates
Regads, from Cape Town, SA

Victoria said...

You go, girl. You're entitled to happiness in all parts of your life.

Emily said...

just have to join the happy party - you go, girl! you are truly a fabulous woman and amazing mom.

Anonymous said...

It wasn't our first date, but certainly within the first few, that my husband and I slept together.

We've now been married for 24 years with two teens and a beautiful life. I must add that I'm not that great of a cook (in the kitchen).

I went to see a stand up comededian last night. He made a lot of sense when he told the audience it's good to have sex before you decide to be with someone forever. Who wants surprises in that area later, after you've committed to them?

Danielle said...

I slept with my man on our "first" date. We met online through a mutual friend, started e-flirting, had textual relations, then lots of phone sex, then I booked a ticket to meet him in person. Met him at 11 p.m. and we were having sex by 1 a.m.!

We're getting married on 11/8/08.

I'm just so happy for you, I can't even stand myself!!

chicklet said...

I slept with my husband on our first date, moved in together after 4 months, got engaged at 9 months, and married at 11 months. Timelines are different for everyone.

Chris said...

My brother's wife moved into their marital-home-to-be a few months before they were married, but wouldn't let my brother sleep over. He lived with my father for those months.

They are about to be divorced because she embezzled money from my father's estate and my brother's bank accounts.

This is not to say that people who refuse to sleep together before marriage are somehow screwed up. She certainly was.

I think it's really wonderful that you're having a good time. I hope that Mr. Coffee sticks around and that you are even happier.

BethGo said...

Awww.who cares what one silly person thinks.
No one expects you to stay a nun forever.
Life is for living. John would definitely want that for you.

Christine said...

I've had sex on the first date, the third date, after a month. If it's meant to be, it doesn't matter. Good on ya for getting out there and meeting someone who sounds really nice. And anonymous (the nasty-spewing one) can STILL eat my ass.

Epifurious said...

Rock on, Snick! Rock on!

Soooo, so happy for you. Thanks again for sharing your love life with the Internet. We adore you!

tropicalg77 said...

you go girl!!! YOu go!!

No one knows you better than yourself.

I truly believe that everything in our life happens for a reason that the lord see fit.

It doesnt matter when you got intimate with ANYONE. What matters is how you and mr. date felt during your intimate times...and well that is just between you two...not us crazy ass blog readers.

You go girl!!

Anonymous said...

I've been reading your blog a long time and have never commented before. One quality of your writing that I really have always enjoyed is your frankness, your honesty and acceptance of your own failings to yourself and also in the public eye of others. To me you seem to embody the advice of "accept the things I cannot change, and change the things I cannot accept." One of my very favorite things about you is the way you react to nasty anonymous comments. You never seem to get worked into a tizzy or bent out of shape-- you always seem to have a concise and to-the-point retort, and leave it at that! You seem to be able to put it into perspective, and focus much more on the positive comments and support that floods you. I always find it embarrassing and uncomfortable to read the reactions some bloggers have to these inevitable comments, either downright rude and nasty or even just everyday disagreements. I find myself embarrassed for them, as they get worked up and angry and react emotionally. But when I have found myself on the receiving end (both in real life and online) it's nearly impossible for me not to get defensive, upset, and overreact emotionally! With something so very personal and such a direct judgment of you, I must say I both admire and am in awe of you a little bit-- how do you keep your perspective? Is it just an extenuation of that same general acceptance and frankness about you? Is it just that you are so very sure of yourself and confident that you are not in any way doing what the commenter suggests that it doesn't even enter your mind to be hurt by it? Does it sting quite a bit and you WANT to rant and be angry and emotional, but lose steam on the way to the publish button? WHAT IS YOUR SECRET?

Because me, I would probably feel punched right in the gut. But I would love to take away that power of other people to wound me with their negative (and really, in our society, inevitable) judgment.

- LC

suzi said...

You go girl. :)

Also, I honored your blog with an award. Check my blog out to see. :) It's been fun following your dip into the dating pool...

kat said...

Delurking to tell you that I am so happy for you!!!

Tribal said...

Yes! You made me smile!
In your face, anonymous!

Jacinda said...

I went skinny dipping with my future husband on our 2nd date...

and I believe - from what I have read of you and John's relationship / marriage.... He would only want happiness for you.

This current relationship isn't about honoring your husband. It is about you starting a new chapter. You will always have a piece of John with you - partialy in your memories/heart and feelings -but also your two wonderful children.

Lastly - you are an adult - with adult feelings...needs.... Go forth...enjoy - be alive...

Thank you for sharing your life with us!

As for anonymous - atleast sign your name.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous needs to get a life. I slept with my husband on our first date and moved in after six weeks. We've been together 13 years and have never been happier. Whatever works for you is fine. xx

Anonymous said...

Don't let anon.s (wasn't me!)comment bother you. He or she was the only one who didn't think your new romance with Mr. Coffee is a good idea. When something feels right (just like with John)I think you should just go with it and not have a rule on how many dates before you sleep with a man.

Way to go...I am so happy for you!!

Ann

Anonymous said...

Glad everything is going well for you, Snick. I hope your redecorating is going well too! Just to let you know, for those of us with young children, we enjoy listening to your Mom stories. It makes us feel very, very normal!! Good luck to you!

~Christen

Sandi said...

I waited until I was married.

And if you believe that, I have some shares of Lehman Brothers to sell you.

T. said...

I'm just throwing it out to say 'screw anon' too.

The very first night my s.o. and I met, we literally slept together - but I refused to have sex with him. I'm not sure what I was holding out for, because a few nights later (and maybe after one official date?) we slept together. One month into our relationship, I moved in with him.

We've been together 2 years now. It's not the right thing for everyone, but it worked for us.

also, snick - I emailed you to delete my name from that entry. Thank you, I sincerely appreciate it.

Anonymous said...

For my two cents worth, you best honor John's memory by living your life with zest and guiding his (and your) children into becoming good, independent human beings. Only you could know when the time and person was right to resume romantic and sexual relationships. Keep being kind to yourself and nurture yourself as well as the children. Life is good and fleeting - grab onto it with both hands.

Gillian said...

Your commentors are killing me. "Textual relations"!! "You all need to drink more coffee"???

I haven't had this much fun since Sex and the City went off the air.

Heather said...

Only you know what is right for you. I'm sure John didn't expect you to spend the rest of your life alone and pining for him. You loved your husband and now he is gone from this life.

You continuing to live and thrive for yourself and your children is a wonderful way to honor his memory.

Be happy and enjoy your time with Mr. Coffee. :)

az said...

So excited for you! Thrilled, actually -- you've got a cheerleader (many, it seems) following along!

Rachel said...

Meh. I slept with my guy on our first date and, three years later, have absolutely no regrets. (Though I wish someone would teach HIM how to make a decent cappuccino.)

You know this better than I do, but: Life is too short and unpredictable not to revel in every waking second of it.

amber said...

okay, so i am all "virginal" like that and waited a LONG time before sleeping with my husband, but frankly, that has no bearing on what you do in your personal life.

i'm so happy that mr. coffee is continuing to prove that he is a great guy that makes you happy :) and yeah, i'd say comfy beds and good food go a long way in making a good impression ;)

Shawna Schaffner said...

Anon should go to hell. You honor John by living your life and being happy. Rock on!

bg's Little Sis said...

WOOHOO Go Snick, glad it was great, hope the rest of your plans have gone well too!

bg's Little Sis said...

WOOHOO Go Snick, glad it was great, hope the rest of your plans have gone well too!

Anna said...

Wow! I slept with my husband BEFORE our first date - we were roommates and fell in love. It was different t go from roommates to living together with someone, but, after 12 years, I think we're okay. ;)

I'm sure John wants you to be happy - very happy. Are you? You seem so! And that's the best way to honor your love.

Becky said...

Count this comment as your #101 supporter! That says it all.

Anonymous said...

I met my late husband through mutual friends. (Kareoke night at the local bowling alley) Took him home with me that night.. to have sex. We were married 7 years when he was killed in a car accident.
Makes me glad we didn't wait, it was over way too soon.
Wishing you happiness.

sheilah said...

You honor John by being happy and raising and loving his two children.

You rock. Anon sucks.

Anonymous said...

you *do* rock, but where's the update?! ;) some of us are living vicariously through you at the moment ....

happy to see you so happy.

Anonymous said...

Snick,

Very happy that you are finding hapiness again. For those of us who are living vicariously through you though, is that all we're getting on date 4b?

Anonymous said...

Is that all the details we get? We are dying to hear more!!

Me said...

Anon needs to take a chill pill.

There is no doubt in anyone's mind that your wonderful husband would want you to be happy.

and what does good sex have to do with honoring memory ;)

You go girl! :)

OTRgirl said...

Gotta speak up for the people who do choose to wait for marriage... Sex is great fun, but it was neat to develop our base with communication and friendship first.

In any case, I am happy that you've found someone you click with and that things are going well.

~ Jolene said...

Oh Snick - not that you need anymore cheerleaders but I wanted to share my thoughts with you as well. Truth be told, I am 30 years old and was also brought up with the belief that sex is something very sacred and you only do it with the person you know will be with you for the rest of your life. You can blame my old-fashioned mother for this. :) However, I have never been one to judge. The same beliefs don't work for every single person on this earth. I think you are honoring John by filling that void in your life without him with happiness again. I am so happy for you. I am actually living quite vicariously through you too since I've been too sick and nauseous to have sex with my husband lately! More about date 4b please!!! I feel like a girlfriend of your from high school *squealing* with delight as you tell us about each of your dates with Mr. Coffee. Wishing you many more dates like that one. :)

Anne said...

You go, girl!

I slept with my husband on our first date. Whatev. Not that you're looking for approval, or even looking to get married, but I just wanted to say so anyway.

Anonymous said...

hmm-Let's take them one by one.

BF 1-never slept together, college Christian sweethearts
BF 2-gave up my "flower" as Monica said on "Friends" after 2 weeks. I was in love, big time. We still are friends 28 years later
BF 3- second date, still friends 27 years later
BF 4- fourth date, were together 4 years, engaged, he broke it off
BF 5- met at bar, in bed 4 hours later, relationship lasted 5 years
Husband 1 - waited 3 months. He was very shy. I also proposed! 16 years married...