I took Friday off so that my mom and I could have a girls' day together. There are about a million things that I'd like to accomplish that day, but I'm thinking that two will get done and 999,998 will have to wait until her next visit. The two things I've prioritized are (1) manicures and pedicures, and (2) a trip to IKEA.
I love IKEA. (No, I'm not being paid to say that.) And I need to do some redecorating. As I have mentioned before, I've been feeling weighed down by the Shrine to John and Stacey that is my home. That is not my life anymore, as much as I wish it could be. No, I don't want to erase all vestiges of that old life, but I also want my house to reflect my new life, the day-to-day that is me and the twins and the little family we are.
I've decided to move my massive, gorgeous, prized wedding certificate from center stage in my living room to a large, empty wall in the twins' room. I'll still see it every day, but it won't be in my face screaming, "Ha ha! Don't you wish you'd gotten to be married longer?" which is what it feels like now. I've got no idea what I'm going to put up in its place, but IKEA might have some kind of reasonably attractive placeholder art that I can put up until I find something more permanent. I also need new bedside lamps; John and I never found anything we liked and the twins broke the ones that we'd been using but had never seemed like the right thing. And the twins need a new craft/play table. I bought a really, really cheap one a while ago, and it's, well, really, really cheap and thus is coming apart.
So IKEA, ho! My mom has good taste, and she's a good balance to my tendency to not buy anything because I can get by with what I have so why spend the money if I don't really NEED to?
It's looking to be a good end of the week/weekend. And that's not even counting Date #4b on Friday! Mr. Coffee and I talked a bit last night on the phone; I'm getting to like the chatting, although it's still hard for me to pick the thing up and dial. In any case, he's got a plan for what he's cooking me for dinner and my mom is being very, very cool with the idea that I am not planning to be home until morning. Despite the fact that I'm 36 and Mr. Coffee is 44 and we have careers and kids and we're truly grown-ups and all, there was something awkward about saying to my mom, "So, yeah, on Friday night when you sit for the twins, how would it be if I didn't come home until after breakfast on Saturday?" Good thing I have a cool mom.
***************************
So last night Ms. Maddie did not wake up demanding to sit on the big girl potty. She's still doing great during the day. I'm going to give it a week or so to see how things play out. Maddie and Riley are still in cribs, although I have their toddler beds in the basement ready to go. My only hesitation about putting them in the toddler beds is the FREEDOM. You see, right now, M&R wake up around 6:00 a.m. When do I get them out of bed? Ummmmm, well, yeah, that would be around 7:00 a.m. For an hour (or even more), they are more than happy to chat with each other, jump up and down, look at books, etc., which gives me time to pack our stuff for school/work, take my shower, and get a cup of coffee. I confess that I'm loathe to give up that time, selfish, selfish woman that I am. Sure, I might luck out and get those kids who don't get out of their beds in the morning, but I don't anticipate that happening. I anticipate Riley up in my face at 6:00, if not earlier. Sigh. I suppose I need to start prepping myself for the transition as it will happen sometime, potty training or no.
Here's my question, though. Say I put the kids in their toddler beds and put a potty in their room. Maddie is not at this point capable of pulling her own pants up and down. She usually sleeps in PJs that are stretchy pants and a long-sleeved top. I guess she could sleep in a nightgown, but do I just not put any panties on her? I'm so confused.
Posts
73 comments:
Sounds like a great time with your mom! We just bought a kid table/chairs at IKEA. it's red with an orange top. The chairs are red, yellow, and orange. My little guy loves the squirrel figure that is on the chair back. Super easy to put together, and so far, seems really durable. But you have to like bright colors :)
Have a GREAT weekend!
On the potty/bed thing... For my kids, it took a while before I trusted them to use the potty by themselves-- especially with my daughter because of the wiping/UTI concerns there.
When I moved them to toddler beds, I put a gate up at their door. I just didn't like the idea of giving them free access to the whole house until they were old enough to know to stay out of stuff (knives in the kitchen, etc.)
Happy decorating!
Sounds like a fun weekend. I love Ikea!
I have found some great art at Etsy. Not too pricey, either.
You might try putting a baby gate up in their doorway when you transition them out of the crib. As long as the room is childproofed, they should be fine. You can also wake Maddie up to pee before you go to bed, and that will probably help her get through the night. We put a small potty near the bed, and put a vinyl sheet under the regular one.
This is too funny. I just bought bedside lamps and artwork for the living room. I was also trying to make the house "my own."
Like you I have big plans for meaningful art but a very small budget. So I bit the bullet, went against everything I have proclaimed for many years and went to the mall, to the Pier One, and bought art. Walls with my own taste in art that I bought for myself (no matter where) was much healthier than looking at empty walls.
I would feel the SAME EXACT WAY about telling my mom that I wouldn't be back until the next morning. Same thoughts, 40 years old, mom, full time job, mortgage and the walk of shame at 9am! Unfortunately for me I have not had the luck you have had with the dating game.
Rachel-
Great idea about looking on Etsy for art! Why didn't I think of that?!
-snick
We didn't transition our boys to toddler beds until 3 years old...because of exactly what you are talking about. And it's not just the getting up in the morning...it's the trying to get them to stay in bed at night. We finally had to resort to booklights. They LOVE booklights. So they each got a book and a booklight at bedtime. If they stayed in their beds, they got to keep the booklight. If they didn't, we took the booklight away. It worked...previous to the booklights, one of our twins would get up 100+ times per night. No kidding. We would put them to bed, sit down at the dining room table, and 20 seconds later he would appear at the door and we'd put him back in bed and do it again for 2 hours straight. So my advice is a toddler gate for mornings, but for evenings, have some incentive planned. And I would delay it as long as possible, because it ushers in a completely new phase of independence, and YOU have to be ready for it! :) It definitely changes the balance of control.
Have a great time at Cirque! I've seen Kooza three times and the contortionists still amaze me. My sister took her then 2-year-old to see it, and he kept asking "Why are they doing that?" at every act, until she finally said "When we're at the circus, things don't happen for a reason."
This may be none of my business but I'm curious: have you and Mr. Coffee discussed and agreed that you'll stay the night on Friday or are you just hoping it may happen? I'm just wondering how that conversation plays out when you've only had three dates. I've been dating my boyfriend for four months (which I recognize is a very short amount of time) and have stayed at his place several times but I still feel awkward bringing it up. I'm not judging and please don't feel obligated to answer, I was just wondering. Perhaps I need to take a lesson from your own self confidence and be a little easier on myself!
I love IKEA as well. Have fun and enjoy having your "cool" mom around. Not sure mine is that "cool" :) As far as Maddie...hmm..I go along with the baby gate. I would still put pull-us on her and see how it goes. It won't be long that she will be able to push them down. I still say, limit drinks, make a big production before bed of using potty and then see. This will probably work itself out faster than you think. And I love the toddler beds, the car shape. How super cute. Good luck.
SEC
Livia--
Mr. Coffee invited me to stay over. When we made the plans for Friday, the invitation was, "Why don't you come over, I'll cook you some dinner, we can open a bottle of wine, and I'd really like it if you'd stay over if you're comfortable with that." So I didn't have to have any confidence at all--it was all his doing!
I'm assuming I'm going to feel comfortable staying, but if not, I'll head home that night.
Good luck with your boyfriend,
-snick
Thanks, Snick. He sounds quite charming.
I'm sure you'll feel comfortable staying over and even if you don't need that new Mirena, just being snuggled all night can make a girl feel wonderful. ;)
Have fun!
Snick, IKEA on a weekday -- smart way to go. That IKEA in Stoughton is an absolute zoo on weekends -- avoid Sat./Sun. at all cost. But on a quieter weekday, it's just a fabulous place (if huge and a bit overwhelming). Enjoy!
When we moved our son to a toddler bed, we put a kid potty (with a towel under it) in his room. Many folks gate their kids in their rooms at this age -- that's fine, or you could put a babyproof doorknob cover on the INSIDE of their room... less clunky than a gate, and it contains the kids in their rooms until you're ready to come and get them out. You don't have to give them the run of the house right now, that's for sure.
You'll be surprised at how fast they get used to pull-ups... they'll be pulling them up and down by themselves before you know it. You can't potty-train at night while they're in cribs, and when you do night-train they'll need potty access of some kind, so you really have to decide when YOU'RE ready to give them more freedom and move them to the toddler beds. There's no real rush -- they just turned two, so you have some time.
I love cool moms!!! ;-) You're very lucky...... And walk of shame? Heck, no. Hold your head up high! You have a right to be happy and have a sex life. No apologies... go for it!
Hugs,
Melissa
Livia--
Mr. Coffee is quite charming :). And I don't know how old you or your boyfriend are, but I think part of it is that we're both . . . older, I guess . . . and have kids and so we know that the sleepover opportunities are few and far-between!
And I'm with you: the snuggle factor is a good, good thing.
-snick
Get some sexy undies for Friday. :)
Watercolor--
Oh, god, I had not given one moment's thought to the pathetic state of my underwear! Yikes.
-snick
Hi there, I love your blog (despite being too lazy to get a Google or Blogger ID).
I have two boys - we kept them both in cribs till after 3 because we didn't want them wandering the house or playing the "GO TO BED" game. Also, you aren't remotely selfish for staying in bed till 7 - you are keeping yourself sane. If the kids are happy chatting and playing in their cribs in the morning, why change a good thing?
Also, on the training, most parents I know keep their kids in pullups during the night for a year or so after they're trained. Nighttime training is a whole different animal, and they are too young to expect them to wake up in time, make it to the potty, get their pj's organized and get back to bed. It's great when they feel really successful during the day and can just sleep at night. It's simpler to keep the nighttime diapers for a while. But you can always check with your ped.
I've been reading for a while now. You're doing a great job with your kids. Congrats on the Mr. Coffee adventure! Enjoy every minute.
~An Admirer
I like everyone's idea about a gate in the doorway. Bur really, i wouldnt transition them out of their cribs any earlier than you absolutely have to. why mess with a good thing? when my 2nd son was 18 months he started climbing out of his crib and going downstairs at 3 AM. we had to resort to one of those crib tents. if theyre happy in their cribs, let them be!
about the training - ive found that night training comes much much later than day training. i would let her sleep in a pull up, so she feels like its not a diaper, but you wont need to get out of bed at 6 AM to take her to the bathroom. and have fun on friday!!!!!
IKEA don't sell sexy undies do they?
I love the place but hate going, so frustrating. I worked there in my youth as well, so I have a bit of inside knowledge.
My son, four at christmas, is in a bed with no side, has his own en-suite toilet and alternate potty. But after two weeks of success, I reverted back to bed-time nappies. Which are like pants. So he could use then so it he wanted to.
Good luck with yours
Oooh! Sleepovers are SO much fun!!! Add shopping for new undies to the list! You're back up to 999,998 things to get done! Have a blast with Mr. Coffee!
I think you're going to have to add "trip to lingerie section" to your Friday to-do list. Although, would you be weirded out shopping for cute underwear with your mom? It's one thing for her to know you're sleeping over, but seeing what you'll be wearing for the evening might be TMI for her :) Have fun this weekend!
I think I'm finally starting to understand Pull-Ups. I use cloth diapers, so I was confused by the Pull-Up idea. It's all becoming clear. Looks like panties, wears like panties, but doesn't leak like panties. Ah-ha!
Have a great weekend -
and yes, isn't IKEA just a great place. A hot date, time with your mom, Ikea, and progress with the potty..... Yes, that feeling I am feeling is jealously.
Have fun!
About the bed/potty thing. My girls are now 3 1/2 but they still wear pull ups at night (they don't wake up). They are dry most mornings. I read the children don't stay dry at night until 4, 5, or even 6 years old. We put them in toddler beds at about 2 1/2. Since they had never climbed out of bed, it didn't even occur to them to get out for about a month. Then, when they got out, they got spanked (not sure if you're a spanker). That worked and now they just sit in their beds and talk to each other. You can use any form of punishment/reinforcement you want but that really worked for us. We did a treat for awhile if they stayed in bed and that worked great. Good luck with the potty and toddler bed transition!
Wow sounds like you are going to be busy! Enjoy your visit with your Mom & the date.... good luck with potty training! :)
Sounds like a great weekend plan....
On the toddler bed...I personally would recommend waiting as long as possible to move them to a bed. My pediatrician said it is really unreasonable to expect a child less than 2.5, or really even 3, to understand that they need to stay in the bed. Her advice was to keep them in a crib as long as possible. My son stayed in his crib until he was turning 3, and he is a giant and was 43" inches tall and still in a crib! But he liked it and we were happy. And really the whole night time potty training is so far away, you're probably safe for now :)
On a very unrelated note, I have been thoroughly enjoying your date updates (maybe because I have two kids and an a husband and we get out, oh say, never??) But I was curious - do you know if he reads your blog or knows you write it and what if he does? I am sure you have thought about this, but you hadn't mentioned it, so I was just curious!
Snick - I figured you hadn't, what with twins and not being nekkid for a man lately. :) And didn't want you to panic "in the moment." Get you something pretty and you'll feel sooooo sexy girl!!!
and, I am thrilled to see I am not the only person who says "yikes" because I get made fun of in my world for it, heh.
Mmmm...IKEA. I share the love.
I got these lamps for our bedside lights. The perch on the windowsill behind the bed and are perfect for an individual reading light. http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/90082119
For the kid thing, I was thinking of the gate idea, I see others had the same suggestion.
I too am ecstatically happy that you have some good times (and some GOOD times, if you know what I mean and I think you do) coming up for you ths weekend. You deserve it like no one else I know.
As for the potty option, well, putting it in their room might solve one problem, but be prepared for cleaning up some spillage. Might not work well if you have carpets.
I second the idea of pullups. Although, since they are absorbent like diapers, they might not lead to the "Oh, I need to use the potty because I am not wearing diaper anymore" breakthrough that you need the kiddie to make. Another option is to keep working on the whole pulling of one's own panties and pants down during the day, and at night just keep going with the diapers. But you'll figure it out - I'm sure it will work itself out the way it did for us.
But in the meantime - Have fun with your mom (and with Mr. Coffee! Woot!)!
Sounds like a great weekend. Yay for your cool Mom! So, here's my two cents, since you didn't ask! Sexy underwear is a great idea, but if you don't get down to the underwear (you know, just all snuggly and cuddly)a cute little shorty PJ set would be a good way to go too. Kinda sexy/kinda cute, Mr. Coffee will be speechless. Can't wait for the next chapter of Snick & Mr Coffee go on dates.
xo
Annie
We trained our kids to stay in their toddler beds.
Rule for toddler bed: stay in it
Consequence if you don't: back in the crib for the night
It took the Munchkin (more strong-willed) three different nights in the crib; the Little Dude took one. This was at 2 1/4 ish. So there's always that as a possibility.
The Munchkin (now 4 1/2) is allowed to get up on her own now, but I taught her how to "read" (really just the first digit) a digital clock and she knows she can get out of her BED at 6, and out of her ROOM (and wake me up) at 7. It works very well, though I'm not sure how it would be if I were up and doing stuff during that interim time.
Sounds like you have a fabulous weekend planned. Enjoy it!
Re: Toddler beds: I say, postpone until absolutely necessary, i.e. kids are climbing out of cribs and landing on the floor. This was our doctor's advise as well. She said, "it's one safe place for you to put them if/when you need to, so don't get rid of the crib until they are able to climb out."
Gate on door: We did this to keep them from wandering around the house unattended, but it turned out they were too scared of the dark to do that. They just walked straight into our room. If that's okay, then you don't need the gate. But if you don't want them to wake you early, I say go with the gate!
As for nighttime potty training: This comes MUCH later, at least it did for us. Our 3 yo still wears a pull-up at night. 5 yo uses underwear, and we leave a nightlight on in the bathroom so he can go if he needs to. Again, the pedi thought this was developmentally A-OK.
Have fun on Friday with Mr. C. He sounds like a doll.
Long time lurker - first time commentor.
I have three girls. I have done my share of trial and error - what I found best was to wait until they started to try to climb out of their cribs before switching them to toddler beds. Once they are in toddler beds, put a gate up across their doorways. This will give you peace of mind that they will still be in their bedrooms once you get up.
Someone suggested to stop the drinks after a certain time at night. I agree with that. Also, Pull Ups at night and big girl panties during the day! Once she has slept through the night with dry Pull Ups for approximately a week, you will no longer need the Pull Ups. I don't like the idea of putting a potty beside her bed because I think that will create a mess and I think that she will still call for you. I never had the problem of going to the bathroom at night with my girls. I feel that as she continues to grow, you will not find her getting up to go to the bathroom either. This is just another one of those things that too shall pass.
It is great that Moo is visiting. Mr. Coffee sounds like a very nice guy.
Keep posting - I love reading!!
I love Ikea!
I just got a new piece there a few weeks ago.....It's a huge makeup vanity table! Awesome!
Have fun w/Mom!
I haven't read the comments yet, but what I did w/N re: getting up in the morning is a 'morning light'. (Have I mentioned this already? Probably. Sorry.) It's a dim bulb on a timer, and N is not allowed to come get me up until it comes on. He can play in his room, sing, whatever, but he's not allowed out of his room until it comes on. Might be worth a shot.
I heart your cool mom. Have an awesome, awesome night, Snick.
Wishing you awesomeness every where you turn, especially with Mr. Coffee.
Laugh, sing, have fun, enjoy this beautiful time.
One on one with Mom. Always a good thing.
Enjoy your life. You deserve every happiness that is unfolding before you.
It is nice to hear you speak with such optimism.
When I switched my son to a toddler bed, I super-totally-babyproofed his bedroom and placed a sturdy baby gate at the door. (I wished I could have just gotten a dutch-door, but the apartment complex may have frowned on that...LOL) My room was right next door and I slept with the door open, so I could hear him rise and play quietly for awhile while I got myself together enough to get out of bed at whatever ungodly hour he had chosen to wake up. Sorry, I have no advice on the potty thing though, he was a late trainer and was able to do up his own pants by the time he finally lost the nappies.
I'm with Riley-- I need a vacation too!
I saw Kooza and did Ikea all within the last two weeks and both were awesome. I went on a Thursday morning to IKEA and it was dead thus making for a delightful shopping experience!
Now about the beds, we just transitioned Vivi to a twin bed and amazingly, she is staying in it as if it were her crib. This is ironic since we moved her to a bed because she was climbing out of the crib. If M & R aren't climbing out, I wouldn't rush them to the beds. Once they are out, a gate on the door is a great idea!
Pottying: I'd stay away from Pull-Ups. They actually delay potty training b/c the kiddies don't feel wet. I have Vivi in cloth too and as soon as she pees, she has to have them off. When she is in a regular disposable, that thing could hold Lake Erie and she won't care. If the wetness isn't bothering Maddie at night, I wouldn't take on the night potty training animal just yet.
That's my 5 cents. HAVE A SUPER DUPER TIME ON YOUR DATE! (Mr. Coffee will be so happy to see you that the underwear won't matter!)
Oh, and I aspire to be a cool mom like you and your mother!
Oy, potty training was the worst. We felt like we knew nothing about parenting. But Ella got through it despite us. She was in crib until a month ago, and does not seem to want to get out of her big bed by herself, so she still calls for us in the morning. We kept her in diapers at night until she was waking up dry for a few weeks. She also has a waterproof mattress pad on her bed, just in case.
Enjoy having your mom there and go crazy at IKEA!
My friend shared a great tip about how she communicates with her toddler when it's okay to come out of her room in the morning. She puts her lamp on a timer. When the lamp turns on, it's okay for her to 'get up'.
Before this change, her daughter would wake up at 5 am and yell, "Is it time to get up, Mom?" Then twenty minutes later, she would yell again. Now she can see when it's time to get up. And the light works better than a clock radio b/c it won't wake up her baby brother, who shares the bedroom.
snick,
my whole office reads your blog and my supervisor who is very green and earth friendly and organic recommended this product...
http://www.diapersetc.com/categories/training-pants/
she said it's worked well for her kids and is still planet friendly :-) downside, they are a bit pricey.
good luck friday!
A potty in the room sounds like a grand idea! And how about some time practicing how to pull up PJ bottoms? You know a fun interactive time (that will pay off in YOU NOT HAVING TO GET UP AT NIGHT~! ;)
Love Ikea. Made a jaunt to our 'local' one on Monday (about an hour away, too far I say).
Glad your mom is cool and hope you have fun on your 'sleep over' ;)
Agree, a baby gate on the door an excellent idea. And the timer on the light! Where were you people and this advice 10 years ago?!? ;)
On Mr. Coffee. This man is very wise, considerate and and direct. To be gracious and empathetic enough to directly ask you if you would be comfortable staying over is a very good sign of a man who can easily read others and put them at ease.
Enjoy yourself on Friday!
Sherry
Potty at night - I never put a potty in the kids' room. I had two girls and we did pull ups for a while until they were able to wake themselves up - maybe 2-3 weeks? (It's been a while, they're 11 & 12 now). If you don't want to do the pull ups you can go REAL old school and do big girl panties with the rubber underpants on top. They definitely feel the 'wet' but it's not quite the mess... It really works... Just a tip from a random stranger! Take care!
Don't sweat the night training.....many kids aren't ready to tackle this until almost 4 or 5. My son is almost 3 and every now and then he calls out to me that he needs to go....and I fall for it every time. Then he says, "Hm. It's not ready to come out yet!" hahahaha. I'm the sucker who is falling for this gag at 2 AM.
Also, we used to do the "play in the crib for an hour in the morning" routine....but it stopped working. I panicked and didn't know how I was going to shower and get my coffee and get ready, but then I discovered the wonderful programming on PBS. He comes into my bed and is totally engrossed for the 30 minutes it takes for me to shower and throw some clothes on my body. Then I am able to supervise play while getting the rest of my chores done.
TV solves a lot of problems. Small doses, of course!
;)
Talking on the phone is a learned behavior - I'm not a phone girl, myself. But recently I heard a really cool communication tip: when talking to your significant other - try to not only talk about your days but ask how the events made them FEEL. This goes for him also.
Sometimes people will fall into "reporting" but it's the feelings people experience that makes the real 'connection'. It's kinda weird at first - but after a few days of this we it was really nice! Try it...it's kinda fun!
IKEA has a Tree of life type painting. It would seem fitting to buy something like that. Not so in your face, and combines the past with the present. Reminding you that life does go on and you are only human to want to have more in life right now.
On the bed front, my son would not sleep in a toddler bed. We ended up just getting a twin boxspring and mattress and put it on the floor. That way if he happened to roll off the bed it was a short fall. He now loves that he has a "really big" bed and not a teeny
tiny one.;)
Kimberly
After reading the comments I am feeling much better about my 2 1/2 year old still sleeping in his crib. We have a toddler bed set up next to it, but he has no interest in sleeping in it.
However, he just crawls out of the crib when he wants out, and can climb over any baby gate, so we have a childproof knob cover on the inside of his door. His room is childproofed, and most weekend mornings he'll get up and play in his room for 30 minutes before hollering for one of us to come get him.
I just don't want him having free reign of the house. Frightening thought!
Good luck. And have a good time Friday. If you don't get time to go underwear shopping before your mom gets here you could always just go without. : )
Michelle H.
I did, and am still doing, a lot of redecorating since John died. It seems to be a natural reaction. Be careful. Once you start, you can't stop.
My son only realised about a month later that he could get out the bed and wonder round... Then we had some fun and games till the novelty wore off!!A gate across their door might work!!
Havent got to potty training yet, so cant comment on the potty yet.
If you're still reading, after so many comments...
I agree with the person who said skip the pull-ups, especially if you are cloth diapering. My son was in pull-ups at night for almost a year after he trained, until I finally got tired of buying them and put him in training underpants (thick in the middle to contain accidents better) and he was dry at night within days. Pull-ups are too much like diapers to actually train a kid. I'm going straight to training underwear with the next one!
Put a waterproof pad on the bed, put her in training pants, and prepare to do a lot of laundry for a few weeks while she learns to wake herself up/hold it all night.
I'd say use the pull ups for night time for now. Just in case. After a while just go with undies and whatever you usually put them in. She'll know how to take them down. But I steer clear of buttons for now. Too hard for his little fingers to undo and therefore accident causing.
And my take on the big kid bed-- who knows, maybe they'll sleep better, longer? When K wakes up in the morning I turn some cartoons on and ask if he's hungry. Then I tell him mommy has to get ready. He's cool with it, ya never know... You could be suprised.
The redecorating thing- a good idea! Have fun!! And on date 4b too.. Woo WOo.
Does he know you blog?
well, we've listened to you whine about everything under the sun---many being mundane events that happen to every mother of young people----talk much and endearingly about your marriage and grief at your loss---and now you sleep with someone you hardly know----three casual dates!!!!---Get Real
Just came back to see what other commenters suggested about beds/potty, etc., and read the above comment from anon. What is wrong with you, anon from 16:34? You are a miserable, sadistic, judgemental, troll. Whatever happened to you in life to make you so vicious, it didn't have anything to do with Snickollet. As my kids say to their nightmares, "Go away Monster, and annoy somebody else. I'm busy."
sorry, I meant anon of 16:49.
Whatever time it was, STFU.
Free rein of the house. . . I have to add that the first time my then three-year-old daughter was allowed to wake up and roam around the house on her own, the first thing she did was open the pantry and line up all the cereal boxes in order of height.
She's now 27. I sure she would come home and clean out the pantry again!
Sherry
Anon 16:49: Adults who date today have sex. What a shocker. It is just part of a mature person's dating experience. Get modern already. A 4th date is good. Fine even. Right on schedule. I'm sure "back in your day" things were different, but it isn't 1910 anymore.
I don't know how often if ever I've commented here, but I've been reading for maybe a year and a half, and I just want to say hooray for all the insight, happiness, and potty training going on in your life these days. Thanks for writing about all of it.
Wow!!! I havent read your blog for a while now and was a bit bored so thought I would check out what Snickollet was up to. I am so impressed that you have taken that leap forward. Good luck and enjoy. It is time x
I'm the anon from 09:41 and have just read the comments and saw the 16:49 anon post! What a horrible misery! You should GET REAL!!! How can you judge when you have probably never walked in S's shoes. No one can. You enjoy and have fun - that is what life is about. PS - as I said I have been reading this blog since just before J died and this is the first (well second) time I have commented. I think you are wonderfully brave and as a single mom I admire you and your courage.
Good luck with Mr. Coffee...new relationships are always so exciting with the butterflies and all!
So excited for Date #4b that I just had to stop by and say "have a great time tonight!"
It is getting close to D4 time! You can bet I will be checking tomorrow morning, noon and night to see what happened! By the way - I got the Mirena and love it. Had it in for 2 days and no big deal at all.
I'm anonymous who was amazed that you would sleep with someone you had seen three times. I am not an old person---and I don't think that dating and sleeping together go hand in hand. In this day of infectious ( and fatal) diseases, I believe you should be more careful. Your memories and grief over your husband were heartrending, and even though at some point you move on (and this may be the right time) I don't feel this honored his memory correctly. From the man he sounds like, he would want you to be happy, but he would also want you to be careful, and healthy.
"I don't feel this honored his memory correctly."
What exactly makes you the authority of what is correct or incorrect for her? Had you discussed with John what he wanted her to do and now you are the commadning authority on that?
Guess what, there are people who are experts on the subject and no one can tell what the magical number of days is or the magical time.
At the end of the day, we have all shut the computers off and gone on with our lives, she is the one who has to deal with what she choses to do or not to do. This includes chosing to not feel lonely and isolated anymore. There is no point in being a martyr. It doesn't make people come back to life. Obvious she knows more than anyone that life is short and unpredictable, grab it. And for her if that means doin' the deed after three dates, so be it. What the hell do you really care anyways for?
NOT YOU or any other person who decides to pass judgement on a situation that they have zero clue what it is truly about. Where you there when she and John had intimate conversations about what would happen when he was gone? My husband and I have had those. IT's sweet to hear him say he wouldn't be with anyone else, its a grand romantic notion that he would pine for me forever, but I know I would not want him alone. Mentally or physically.
Why bother reading this anymore? Why? It all just sounds bitter and like there is an axe to grind of some sort. Very sad actually, I hope you get help with whatever is making you bitter, you might be a hang nail of a human, but it's just not natural and as a compassionate human being, I will practice what I preach and hope YOU find some happiness in whatever YOU chose to do. I think it would start with staying away from here
Keep them in the cribs! if you were in my bed this morning when our 7 year old came in at 6:20 a.m. weilding a sheild and wooden sword and announced that the sun had NOT come up yet, you would also wonder if you could put him BACK in a crib without a visit from social services. Seriously though, our older son was in a crib until 3 1/2 years old.
Just stopped by to see how your date went. I had a third date last night that went very well, and I thought of you and your suggestion that the world should be doing more kissing (and stuff)! Hope your fourth date went as well as - or better than - mine! Can't wait to hear!
to anon from 16.49: while I don't agree with your rather odd conclusion that Snickollet isn't honoring her husband's memory by sleeping with Mr. Coffee as I'm not clear on how the two are related, I do respect your right to your opinion that you find it too soon. I also think spreading the word about safe sex is so important, even though Snickollet has actually addressed this very topic - in addition to writing eloquently and heart-breakingly about mortality and the single parent.
What I can not understand, is the viciousness of your original comments. Why was an ad hominem attack appropriate? Why do you read if you find her to be a whiner? And why be so rude if you just want to offer a safe sex reminder? Very strange.
I am incredibly jealous of anyone whose kids stayed in their crib after the age of about 18 months. Mine both not only climbed out but used the rails to climb ON top of anything they could leap to (and they are not twins, they are almost four years apart). I realize they are little monkeys, I'm just amazed mine were that precocious. I told anonymous my opinion of her on the last post (I'm sure it's the same person).
On the center stage thing, put a nice clock. That's what we have in our living room, a great big antique looking clock, and I like it so much better than art or photos or whatever, because it's just really simple. The thing I have to stare at all the time I don't want it to be "about" anything. That's my two bits.
"Redecorating" is so, so hard. I have a different situation than yours, but I can relate. Shortly before my twins were born I had to "redecorate" the nursery and I blogged about it. It is heartbreaking but it is so hard to find a balance between a honoring our loved one's memory and building a shrine.
PS - I found you on How Do You Do It? and have been "catching up" for the past few months reading in order from the beginning.
Post a Comment