25 April 2008

I Should Know Better

When I said that evenings had gotten better around our house?

Pride goeth before a fall.

In fairness, the evenings have been better, but since the day I wrote that post (O! Bitter Irony!), the nights have been worse. I had been lulled into complacency by a spate of screamless, sleep-filled joy. The past couple of nights have been a double-feature of Maddie and Riley uprisings. Yawn. My mornings have been fueled by coffee and crankiness.

The going-to-bed part has been tenuous, too. Last night involved almost 45 minutes of screaming alternating with chit chat alternating with screaming alternating with singing from the Ri-Man before a final burst of sobs pushed him into slumber. It's exhausting for me. I find few things more draining than the combination of listening to my child cry mixed with the uncertainty of how to handle the situation. Go in? Let him cry it out? Gar.

But hey, it's Friday. The sun is out. We have a park date with a friend after work. I have a grown-up date (outing with girlfriends) on the books for Saturday evening. And it's true that slowly, ever so slowly, the scales are tipping in favor of more sleep for all of us and easier times at bedtime. It's just so hard to hit a regression after so much progress. I like things to be linear; this whole "two steps forward, one step back" motion is hard for me.


moo said...

I have learned my lesson about shouting out my joy when Gray sleeps through the night ... just because he's inclined to do it four times a week does not necessarily mean those other three nights will be smooth sailing.

Does Riley have a different ... mmm ... tone? ... to his cry? For example, Gray will "fake" cry and then babble and talk in his crib, so we won't get him. But he has an "I AM OUTRAGED" cry and for that one, we do respond.

Our middle of the night rule is ... if you aren't screaming in outrage, you can stay in your crib. If you are up for longer than 45 minutes, and show NO signs of going back to sleep, you can come out.

Snickollet said...


I like your rules.

The crying Riley has been doing at night is not fussing. He sounds scared and distressed, which is what makes it so stressful for me. I can handle a good bit of fussing, but the frightened tone is troubling.


Emma's mom said...

I have no answers, just sympathy. The nights are tough when the kids are little.

Parisienne Mais Presque said...

"My mornings have been fueled by coffee and crankiness."

Ha! Here too. And it shouldn't be nearly so hard for me since the adult/baby ratio here is reversed. I feel for you, and would happily buy you a latte... or perhaps a bottle of Sancerre?

What A Card said...

Ugh! I hope this swings back in the right direction soon! For us it seems to wax and wane. Just when I think I can't possibly survive another scream-filled night they'll both sleep through. Or they'll prove to me that yes, I could survive yet another scream-filled night :)

Julia said...

just wanted to wish all of you a restful weekend.

Nina said...

sending over good sleep thoughts!

Poor Riley. Poor you. =(

Amy said...

Ahh I so remember those early days.. You think you have things figured out and WHAM! you got another thing coming..

Sorry to read your analysis of Riley's night time cries. Have you considered bringing him to bed with you (AFTER of course you have had a few hours of adult/YOU time...)

My firstborn slept in our room for the first 4 years. Husband frequently away I was happy to sleep with the little booger. He only moved out at 4.5 from his little bed in our room when his twin sisters were born and moved in (small house!) It was then he decided he wanted to sleep in his own room where it was QUIET!

Is he socially defective as a result? No. Great kid at 15 :)

Do whatever feels best to you and don't doubt yourself.

Christine said...

Hope things went better for you. Boo was up twice last night, but he did sleep from 9-ish to 2:30. Got to take what you can get. I slept until way past noon today, since hubby took him out shopping with him.

Have a great weekend, and enjoy your plans!

Anonymous said...

Okay...I am 46 and have been lurking..no more...I was a full time working mom and for ME it was easier to have them sleep with us. My girls are now 10 and 11 and have been sleeping in their own rooms for a long time. PLUS....i truly believe if everyone told you the HONEST truth...millions of kids sleep in their parents beds..trust me...I brought it all to light.....people finally admitted it...there are LOTS you out there!!!!!

Michelle said...

Long time reader, first time poster...Do you think it's teething? 2 year molars? Although, I'm likely biased in my thinking because I'm teething consumed lately. My 7 month old is going through it...went from sleeping more or less through the night to frequent night-time waking/crying. I feel your pain...hang in there. Someone once said to be "It gets worse before it gets worse". Comforting huh?