And yet, as I try to write about my weekend, I've started and stopped, deleted and retyped, saved and reopened, at least five times.
My weekend was good, but my weekend was hard. The hard parts were not related to the year deathiversary, or at least I don't think they were. The hard parts were and are related to parenting, to toddler challenges, and to my own sadness independent of how much time has passed since John died.
[more typing, deleting, starting over]
So yes, ups and downs, tears and laughter, peaks and valleys, and all of that. I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats.
And the end result is that I made a few decisions:
1. I have to start exercising. This is non-negotiable. I need to make the time to walk during lunch at work, to put my T-Tapp video in at night, and even to get the kids out in the jogger after work/daycare. The kids and I will all benefit from this. Less TV, more moving around.
2. I'm going to start easing dairy out of Riley's diet just to see how this affects his temperament and overall crankiness. I tried to give him straight-up soymilk before bed last night and he was NOT into it, but he did drink a 50/50 mix without complaint, so I'm going to try to slowly switch him over to all soy and stop serving cheese and yogurt so often. This is going to be a work in progress.
I guess I made two decisions rather than a few. Close enough. I probably made more decisions than that and just can't think of them right now. I've felt in a bit of a fog lately.
I know I have more to say about my weekend. Here's a list of some things that I did. Want to hear more about any of them?
- Slept until 8:30 a.m. one morning.
- Ate an amazing meal.
- Took a walk by myself.
- Got my legs waxed for the first time.
- Cried. On more than one occasion.
- Watched some baseball.
- Took a long, hot bubble bath.
- Confessed to my mom and stepdad that I'm really, really sad most of the time.
- Yelled at the kids.
- Missed the kids terribly.
- Took a walk with my mom.
- Tried a new recipe.
- Went to another moms of twins yard sale.
- Broke my latte maker.
- Ordered a replacement part for my latte maker.
- Let the twins eat chocolate for breakfast.