Thanksgiving and the day after were great. Friends abounded, the babies were on their best behavior, and it was great to have help all day and get some time to relax.
Today, not so much. We're back to our normal routine. We had a fun morning, but then we took a walk to Trader Joe's and there was trauma, trauma, trauma! about balloons. The trauma, trauma, trauma! continued at home, until I took the balloons away. All day has been food trauma. I think Riley has eaten half a pear today, if that. I offered them breakfast and lunch of items that they normally enjoy, but not today. Maybe they are cleansing after two days of eating random crap.
On my end, I came unglued at Trader Joe's when three, yes, three different cashiers flagged me down and said, "I can help you over here!" Each time, I would think, "Oh, great, no waiting with the impatient balloon monsters." Then I would get over there and the cashier would have started ringing someone else up. WTF? The third time, the cashier said, "Sorry, I didn't know this woman was here waiting." The woman in question had two GIANT boxes of chocolates, sitting right on on the scanner. I happen to hate that particular cashier, and this didn't help her standing with me. Then she ripped my bag of flour, white whole-wheat went everywhere, and I was the one who had to go get a new bag. I couldn't stand to wait for someone else to go get it. When we exited the store, some asshat had left his or her cart blocking the sidewalk. So considerate. Happy holidays to you, too.
All of this is minor, trivial stuff, I know. The underlying issue is that being a single parent sucks. Certainly there are things that suck more. Way more. But after two days of warmth and fun with good friends, our house feel empty. I feel bitter. Everything seems like a chore. The fun is gone.
Moi
- Snickollet
- I'm a mother and a widow, and a whole lot of other things. Here, though, I tend to write about parenting, grief, and their intersection.
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4 comments:
hey snick, life has its sucky days for sure, and it's even harder when you can't unload on your nearest and dearest. if you need to rage in your blog, we're here to hear you out.
Oh MAN, I love TJ's but during the busy holiday season, I can barely navigate it alone. With two toddlers????
Dear god, woman, get yourself a glass of wine.
(Also - if you are near the Framingham TJs, I know the b*tch you are talking about. Can't believe they haven't fired her yet).
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I hate those days when the trivial stuff gets to you so much, no matter whether you know it's trivial or not. Kinda sucks everything out of you. When I look back at days like that I'm always mad at myself for letting things get to me that way, but at the time it just feels awful.
Hope your day gets better.
You CAN do this!
Some days really suck single parent family or not, trust me. My husband is away half the week as a Firefighter. It sucks, you adjust, you have your bad days and you carry on. Because what is the alternative really?
I know. I am grateful I have him the other half of the week. To lose him would be devastating (as you know..)
Do something nice for yourself now or tomorrow. MAKE the time for it, you deserve it! Or if this weekend is not do-able PLAN something you can do. Looking forward to things in life crucial I find.
In the meantime take it one day at a time and try to find the joy in each day. Sometimes not easy but feel free to bitch to us about the stuff that gets you down. Sometimes all you need is a good honest to Gawd vent.
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