04 November 2007

Out of the Mouth of a Babe

I make a point to talk about John a lot with the kids. I'm always saying things like, "Daddy loved to go to the park!" or "This was your dad's favorite shirt," or "Look, that's a picture of you and Daddy when you were very little." I am especially aware of showing the kids pictures of John. I don't know how their memories work, but I suspect that they don't actually remember John. They do seem to know who he is because of hearing me talk about him ad nauseum.

None of that takes away from the impact of hearing Riley gleefully say, "Daddy!" when he sees a picture of John. We have a little "Who Loves Baby" book into which you insert your own pictures; the first spread in ours is a picture of John holding hours-old Maddie facing a pic of Dinner a few weeks before I had her put to sleep. Riley loves to look at those pages and point and say, "Daddy! Gato! Daddy! Gato!" Then he closes the book and says, "Bye-bye. Bye-bye."

It gets me every time. Meaning multiple times a day.

15 comments:

every tenth said...

What a sweet story! They may not know exactly who John is right now, but I'll bet they pick up on the fact that he is very important and that you love him very much.

Rachel said...

That's so sweet, and sad at the same time. {{{{Hugs}}}}

Anonymous said...

Ouch :( That must be bittersweet.

Melany aka Supermom said...

I think it is just perfect that you make John a part of their lives like that. I"m sure that they will have a 'memory' of him that way, even if only cause by the constant talking and photos.
Can't be easy for you though. HUGS to you

BethGo said...

Oh my.

I think bitterwseet is indeed the right word.

But by keeping John's memory alive, you are giving you children the most wonderful gift.

This all must be very hard on you. I know that you miss him very much.

Hugs to you.

Anonymous said...

My mom's brother died at 21 during WWII. She and my grandmom spoke of him every day. The bad but funny things he did his entire life. His great spirit of adventure. He was such a neat guy. He was larger then life.

His oh so handsome pictures are stuck on the fridge and corner of every mirror in the house, along with photos of us. As my sibs grew and moved on up we copy the photos and add them to the fridge and mirros of our new homes.

He was a cowboy and a soldier. He loved being both of those things. He was a "survivor man" before the cabel show. It is still a shock to me that I never actually met the guy. We say he is like the man in the poem about the figure on a Greek vase, forever frozen in youthful perfection.

Julia said...

It got me just now. So I imagine you and Kleenex don't part ways too often.
I am sorry it has to be that way.

Anonymous said...

that is good that you continue to mention John to the children. They are too young to understand where he is at and why he is not there physically with them, but they will grow up to know exactly who there father is. They will know how much he loved them and continues to watch over them.. They will be very proud of their father..

OTRgirl said...

As mentioned by other commenters: beautiful and tragically bittersweet.

Becky said...

That is so sweet. What a darling baby.

Yankee T said...

AAAAAAAAW. Sending hugs.

Anonymous said...

They are so darling.

buddha_girl said...

One of the most touching stories you've ever shared with us. I love your kids, you, and John. Period.

soralis said...

I am sure it is bittersweet for you. Take care

liz said...

Sweetness.