16 November 2007

I am That Person.

I am That Person. Yes, me, Snickollet. I am the one who makes you roll your eyes when you are in line at Starbucks. Hell, I annoy myself when I hear this order come out of my mouth:

"I'd like a tall, decaf, nonfat, no whip, two-pump Peppermint Mocha, please."

(Shameful PS: I'd like to add "extra-hot" to the list, but I just can't bring myself to do it.)

38 comments:

cooler*doula said...

You know what you want... I am the one saying:

"I want... Umm... A... Tall, no Grande... Chai - what do you call it? You know, with all the ground up ice and stuff? Frappeccino? Is that what you call it?"

Of late, I've been trying to guess what it is, and I keep guessing wrong. It's not good, at all.

Aimee said...

Heehee...

I'm a huge fan of the pumpkin spice latte! I hate that it's only available this time of year.

Sarah said...

As a former Starbucks Barista, I can say that we absolutely don't care at all. It's really all the same to us whether it's modified or not. Honestly, don't worry about it.

Now, if you were one of those 1 and a half shot 143 degree people, that would be a different story.

Anonymous said...

I live just outside of Seattle, (and with you originally being from Portland, I'm sure you are aware that we are just as caffeinated as people assume us to be), so my orders also take thirty seconds to give. When my husband and I went to his home state (Ohio) last month, the lady at the Starbucks there stared at me in fascination, because she didn't understand what I was trying to order. In a Starbucks! I quickly discovered nobody over there knows how to make coffee. And my order was SIMPLE: A tall, double split shot Americano with half-and-half and an ice cube. :)

-A

Becky said...

Eh, no worries. I'm certain that they hear worse.

Melissa said...

actually, sounds pretty good. Yum!

Rev Dr Mom said...

You are not alone--I am that person, too!

J said...

I don't roll my eyes - I'm envious! I want to try all the variations so I can find my exact (long) order but I am afraid to for fear I will make a mistake! I think it all stems from this one cranky barista a few years ago...

Jenn said...

Believe me, we're out here in droves. The Secret Shameful Starbucks Club of Ultraspecific Orderers. Hey, I want it how I want it. BTW, have you tried the Eggnog Latte? Totally sinful, but yummy.

Nina said...

You deserve the latte that you want. Just because it takes a long time to say doesn't mean it takes a long time to make.

glove said...

It's hard to type a comment with my eyes rolled so far back in my head. Diva.

Rachel said...

Ha!

But here's the part that gets me. Why do you have to specify "no whip" when it's nonfat? Do people actually order nonfat and then get whipped cream?!

Olivia said...

i'll forgive for being "That Person" just based on the fact that i didn't know a peppermint mocha existed and omg i want one NOW. you've educated me, therefore, you're forgiven. ;)

Hillary said...

I choose to believe that my extra finicky order adds a little variety to the Barista's day. Who wants to make another plain latte?
If you wanted to make your order even longer, you could make the syrup sugar-free.
Rachel - my sister orders her hot chocolate non-fat, extra-whip. It's all about balance :)

Anonymous said...

Ha, I think I've got you beat! I am a venti, soy, no whip, no foam, extra hot, three pump, white mocha ;-) And it BETTER be right, or it goes right back for them to do over! LOL Not that I am normally that bitchy, but when I pay $5.19 for some coffee... it better be just how I want it!

Amanda
Memphis, TN

mommo4.5 said...

I thought I knew the language, but will someone please tell me what a double split shot is?

Elaine said...

Have I ever commented? I'm not sure!

Anyway, had to for this one, because I am often a:

grande soy vanilla chai tea latte

And I always hate to say it!

mumof4 said...

Oh me too ' I would like a grande, non fat, no whip peppermint hot chocolate at about 140 degrees please. Quite often they get one bit wrong and have to do it again!!

buddha_girl said...

My Lil Sis once had a barista attempt to give her a Starbuck's dictionary so she could, "...learn how to order appropriately."

Lil Sis went off on the idiot. I only wish I could have seen it. I hate snobby coffee chicks who are self-important.

You? You I adore! I think I'd merely guffaw upon hearing you order and follow up with, "Yeah. Not so much. I want a large coffee. Period."

Kier said...

The "extra hot" part really got me. My father used to order hamburgers from McD's like this:

"I need 2 hamburgers, ketchup only, EXTRA HOT!". We'd roll our eyes every time...extra hot? Ummm...just say "I want you to cook them now and not give me the old ones laying around!" lol

Anonymous said...

But my dear, that is exactly what Starbucks is FOR.

B.E.C.K. said...

Sounds delicious! Maybe you should have in printed out so you can just hand it to them, like a banl robbery note or something. Then you won't have to say it all the time (and you can add "extra hot"). ;^)

SadOatcakes said...

Ha. I'm the one going "I'll have a passion ice tea lemonade in... um... what's your guys' fancy word for small, again?"

One day I'll learn..

Anonymous said...

Mommo -

A double split shot is two shots of espresso where one is caf and the other is decaf. I (unfortunately) have HBP, so I have to keep the caffeine on the down low. Over the last month or so I have been switching over to the chai tea latte, because I can get it all decaf at my local coffee stand.

By the way, it's fun listening to all the different drinks people order. Although I try to have a mainstay, I definitely like to change it up and try something new.

- A

Anonymous said...

Being a barista myself - you really aren't that bad. The most interesting order I've gotten was a half-caf, triple, venti, sugar-free vanilla, nonfat, no-foam, 180 degree latte. We gave up and gave it it's own number. Hehehe. Cheers!

Artemisia said...

Please, please, PLEASE order the extra-hot! We need to make this a standard order.

They forget the "extra-hot" part of my grande, whole, extra-hot, no-foam latte WAY too often, dammit.

Nope, not apologetic here, either.

karin said...

oh, I'm that person too!

I'm a "triple grande non-fat, no whip two pump mocha extra hot"

I used to really like the peppermint mochas, but this year I think that the peppermint is different. It seems too sweet and strong.

Jolene said...

you are so funny! I cracked up out loud when I read this! Not annoying at all...don't worry. But then again, I don't frequent Starbuck's much :)

Arwen said...

You pay $6 for coffee, you get it EXACTLY the way you like it. That's why they can do it.

janet said...

your post -- and the comments -- made me spit my grande half-caf non-fat sugar-free cinnamon dolce with whip all over my keyboard.

many of us are "that person."

kathy said...

O please that's nothing....I almost always order a nonfat chai latte with 1 pump pumpkin spice and extra water...or a nonfat, sugar free vanilla latte with extra foam....I must be that annoying person that stands in front of you....

(and Aimee, you can get pumpkin spice any time you want, just have to ask for it)

Jenn said...

You know how to really confuse the folks at Stabucks? Ask for a small Awake tea. I think they get the Awake part as it's their brand -- but the "small" and the "tea" I think are just waaaay out there.

Anonymous said...

My all-time favorite coffe line moment came at the local cafe when we lived in Southern California.

The man infront of me ordered a decaf Latte with non-fat milk. The bored looking surfer chick behind the counter said,

"Why? Why not just drink water?"

Priceless!

Kathleen, a tea drinker who confesses to being an eye roller but only in my head

Melanie said...

Oh, I'm that person too, being a dairy-sensitive Weight Watcher. So, I'm a grande, soy, sugar-free, no-whip, no foam, gingerbread latte. My problem is that I order this on a campus "licensed" (i.e., poseur) Starbucks, so it really does boggle their heads.

You are not alone.

Angela said...

As a former barista, I have to tell you that orders like that are typically a fun challenge and conversation starter, not a huge PITA like you might think. But then again, I liked my job, and worked with people who liked their jobs, so our attitudes might be skewed.

amber said...

me too!!! i'm almost embarassed by it, but then again, i like it so darn much, that i really don't care what everyone else is thinking. my order is:

"tall, nonfat, extra hot, no whip gingerbread latte".

and if it's late at night, "decaf" gets added in there too ;)

Anonymous said...

I see no problem with that at all. Heck, when you pay $12 for a cup of coffee, you get to have it exactly thge way you want it. And to bounce off Rachel's question: me, I'm completely down with the non-fat with whip thing. I don't want a whole cup full of whole milk, but a nice dash of whipped cream on top really makes it. If it comes out as full-fat as with regular milk, so be it: at least I break even, so to speak. I couldn't bring myself to get whipped cream AND full-fat milk, but I like the taste of the whipped cream, and the "treat" feeling. So that's my compromise.

anne said...

Hah! So funny...I am a venti non fat peppermint mocha extra hot no whip...and sometimes I feel like it is too long to say so I leave off the "no whip" thinking that is implied based on the fact that I said "non fat" already. But then the barista always asks if I would like whipped cream!!

I love your blog,I am not a commenter though...just wanted to tell you that you are one of my favorites!