First off: Yes, my running motivational post did work. I got out there, it felt good, that's going great. I'm on personal fire, eating better, working out more, reading more, taking care of personal projects, feeling centered.
All while my job goes to shit.
Yes, my projects are getting more interesting. For that, I am grateful.
But I am the conduit between two people who want very different things from and for the project I work on. They don't know how to talk to each other, so I have to be their interface. One of them is scatterbrained, domineering, and condescending. Let's call her EE. EE holds a position of extreme power within the company. When I can avoid her, I enjoy my job. She butts heads with my other colleague on my main project, who is organized, driven, and enthusiastic. Let's call her MM. MM is less experienced than EE. MM and I work well together, but we get stonewalled by EE, who opposes anything we do on principle and likes to talk down to us about why our ideas are bad. I get shut out by EE because I tend to agree with MM.
It's so awful, so unprofessional, and so high school. I hate it.
I'll go weeks without having to talk to EE, and I'll think, "Hey, this job is not so bad!" Then all of a sudden I have a run-in with her and it's back to my desk, job searching in my cube, not caring if anyone finds me.
I'd quit, but I feel trapped. I'm unhappy, but I'm well paid, I have health insurance, and I have flex time. I have two kids. I can't just walk off the job with no plan.
There's nothing interesting in my field right now that I can find to apply for. I found something that sounded great . . . 1.5 hours away.
I just don't know how long I can do this. I need to find a way out. Part of me doesn't want to give EE the satisfaction of leaving; I think she'll feel like she won some kind of battle of wills if I go. But I can't make myself miserable on principle. I just want to work with nice people. And get paid well enough to make ends meet. If I like the work, it's a bonus, but I can be OK with being bored among nice folk. That's basically what I do now, with the large exception of EE.
I'd love to be independently wealthy with fabulous health care. If anyone has a line on that gig, let me know.