I hope everyone is having a happy Mother's Day. Mine has been great so far. The twins and I have been in our usual routine: breakfast, get dressed, play a little, walk to Starbuck's, nap. The rest of the day promises more of the same: play, lunch, play, nap, visit with friend, snack, walk, dinner, bed. After the kids go to bed, I've lined up a babysitter so that I can head out for a Mom's Day dinner with my best friend. I'm looking forward to that.
I was somewhat worried that Mother's Day would be an extra hard day for me without John. Instead, I find that I feel very calm and peaceful. This weekend has been good for me; the twins and I are really hitting our stride. They have been napping well (knock on wood!), we've had a lot of fun playing together and getting out and about, and they've slept relatively well despite having the sniffles and the fact that Riley has cut two more teeth (!). The past few days have given me a lot of confidence: I can do this, and sometimes it's even fun.
When I was in the shower this morning, still shaking off the crankies about being up at 6:30 a.m., I thought a lot about how I wanted to spend this day mentally. I knew what I was going to be doing physically, but I wanted to be sure that I had a good attitude going in. I decided to try to focus on being the best mom that I can. On some level, I try to do that every day, but today I want to work on being in the moment more. I want to be extra-sensitive to balancing my needs with the twins'. I want to remember to tell Maddie and Riley throughout the day how much I love them and how much John loves them. Basically, I want to do all the things I normally do, but just with more awareness of the mothering aspect of the day. My mind is usually focused on a million things at once, and I'm hoping to narrow that down today.
However you are spending the day, I hope you enjoy it. I want to send special Mother's Day wishes to anyone who has or is struggling with infertility and anyone who has lost a child or parenting partner.
I have a parenting question, which seems a propos given that it's Mother's Day. I was at a party yesterday afternoon with the twins. There was another child there, a two-and-a-half year old boy, Timothy. Timothy's mom had wisely brought a canvas sack full of toys to keep her son busy, a vast assortment of toy cars, trucks, and trains that Timothy had spread out in the living room. I had foolishly not brought any toys, but the twins were pretty well amused with paper cups and coasters. Until they saw Timothy's stash. As Maddie and Riley crawled towards the toys, I attempted to distract them with crackers and said to Timothy's mom, "Would it be OK for Maddie and Riley to play with a couple of Timothy's toys?"
Her reply kind of surprised me. "Well," she said, "sometimes he shares and sometimes he doesn't."
As if on cue, and as Maddie and Riley got into striking distance, Timothy started to gather up his toys and pull them out of the twins' reach.
"I understand," I said. "Sharing is hard."
Seeing as Timothy clearly was not into sharing and that the temptation was going to be too much for the twins, the three of us went into another room and that was that.
My question is this: What is the protocol in that kind of situation? I have to say that I fully expected Timothy's mom to let the twins play with one or two of her son's toys. There were waaaaaay more trains/trucks/etc. than he could play with at once. But from what I understand, 2.5 is a little young to really understand sharing. Thoughts? Obviously, the best solution is for me to remember to bring the twins their own toys!