07 September 2006


Disclaimer: I'm still sorting out the template. I don't like the format for the archives, for example. And, more troublesome, there are many blogs I read that don't show up on my "I keep tabs on" list despite being present in the template. Work in progress. Slow progress. On to the real entry.

Today is all about recovery. Yesterday was all of my worries about taking care of the babies alone come to life. Everyone cried. Screamed, really. I couldn't console anyone. One would settle, the other would start. No one took a nap. Everyone was overtired and cranky. I cried right along with them. I felt like a terrible mom, like what I was doing at the moment was wrong and that I'd set bad habits in the babies that were exacerbating the problem.

Our Day
1:00 (yes, AM): First nighttime feeding. As usual, but Maddie takes some walking and soothing to go back to bed.
4:30: I get up again with babies, who have been restless and basically sleepless since going back down after 1:00 feeding. I, too, have been restless and sleepless trying to get the babies to sleep. Babies stay up after this feeding. Bad babies.
6:15: I get GH up to take over for an hour or so before he needs to get ready for work.
7:15: I'm up, GH gets ready.
8:00: Babies eat again.
9:00: It's a miracle! Babies are both napping. I take a shower. I pump. I feel like a rockstar.
9:45: Riley wakes up screaming. Riley screams for two hours. Nothing consoles him. Maddie sleeps through it all.
10:20: At one point, I try to give Riley a bottle (he hates bottles and we try to practice every day). He gums it for about five minutes, then gags on the nipple and throws up. Not a success. He continues to scream.
11:45: Babies eat.
12:30: We go on a walk. I call my mom for some consolation. She is not really any help, which is a surprise. Sigh.
14:00: Babies eat. After, we go to visit GH downtown, where he is getting a five-hour chemo treatment. Babies are seriously fussy during the visit, but calm down with the help of a snack of boob.
16:00: Babies fall asleep in car on the way home from chemo.
16:45: Babies wake up when we get home and commence screaming. Both scream at full volume, the red-and-sweaty-and-tense-and-breathless kind of screaming. Again, nothing consoles them.
17:45: GH arrives home to screaming babies and sobbing, wrecked wife. Just what a man needs after chemo.
18:00: Babies eat; GH sends me to bed for a one-hour nap, during which the babies scream again for another 30 minutes before falling into an exhausted sleep.
19:30: Babies get baths, food, bed. The go down easily, exhausted from screaming.

At 1:00 today, it all started again, although they babies slept better during the second half of the night. Clearly, they were overtired yesterday and needed more naptime than they got. Here's where I feel like I messed up: Madeleine and Riley have almost never napped at home in their crib. We usually take them on a walk or an outing to get them to sleep. If they're home, they will really only sleep during the day in a swing or bouncy seat. I feel like I've created a problem here in that they need to learn to nap in a bed; they are outgrowing the soothing of the swings and vibration and don't know how to sleep anywhere else. Gar.

I'm hoping today will be better. We have two outings today: to visit our daycare this morning and drop off some paperwork and to pick up some bottles from another twin mom in the afternoon. I just hope the babies nap. That's what they really need. Sleep begets more sleep in babies, so if they nap, they might do better at night, too. Keep your fingers crossed.


Yankee, Transferred said...

Oh, dear, it sounds so tough. I was hoping to see you in MA last week, but didn't know if you were back from FL. At any rate, I like the new look, and I'm sorry things are so challenging right now. Hang in there, you're not setting up bad habits-you're surviving! One baby is a lot-two babies is a crowd!
I'll be back up in November so maybe then? Good to see you back on line.

weigook saram said...

That sounds so hard. Sending virtual hugs your way. I hope today goes better.

My favorite sleep book is "Good Night, Sleep Tight." I used it when K was older but I think she has some good tips for transitioning them to the crib.

Lee Thomas said...

So sorry about yesterday. But remember: you are NOT a "bad mom." Babies are a lot of work; you are coping.

Sending love your way.

Angela said...

I'm so sorry you had such a rough day, you are not a 'bad Mom' I think you are awesome, I never had to deal with twins, and I thought it was tough(colicky baby). You will get through this, that's great that you are asking your husband for help,(naps) keep doing that and call friends who have had kids for emotional support. I know it helped when I spoke to people who had 'been there and done that' Sending hugs your way--I think you're great!

OTRgirl said...

That sounds awful. Unconsolable babies are SO hard.

You have my sympathy. And poor GH!

I'm having trouble putting words on the sigh, nod, hug I wish I could give you.

bg's Little Sis said...

Sorry you had such a tough day, I too hope each day shows improvement for all of you on the sleep front. I echo that you are NOT a bad mom, it's just hard. My kids didn't nap well either until later in life, colicky, etc. It'll get better, hang in there.

Rev Dr Mom said...

I can't remember how old your babies are-but is it possible that some of this is "colic"? Not that that is reassuring, but still....