Home, Crabby

So much for posting from Oregon. So much for doing anything from Oregon but spending time with family and friends, eating, sleeping, and generally relaxing. That's what vacations are for, I figure, and GH and I have fewer and fewer of those kinds of vacations available to us as the twins' due date draws closer with each passing day.

Things that were very cool about our trip:

1. Meeting my stepbrother's six-week-old daughter. She is beautiful, and both he and his fiancee are wonderful with her. Having her around the house a lot made me less nervous and more excited about the twins. I've always been excited about the twins, of course, but it's been an excitement tinged with nervousness/fear about if I'll be able to deal. Don't get me wrong: I'm still worried. But spending time with a wee one was just what I needed to confirm what kind of joy is on its way to us.

2. Seeing a friend I've known since age four, plus a few college friends. I finally got smart on this trip and didn't try to see EVERYONE I know in greater Portland. I thought about who I really, really wanted to see, who had been a good source of support for me lately, who I would look forward to seeing. And I saw those people and it was great.

3. Hot mineral bath + massage at Carson Hot Springs. If any of you live in greater Portland and haven't been there: GO NOW. So relaxing. It's very rustic, but such a treat. Technically us preggos are not supposed to get into hot baths, but I was careful and the staff at Carson assured me that they have pregnant ladies come there all the time. And my masseuse specialized in pregnancy massage, so that was awesome. I was like a wet noodle afterwards.

4. Eating lunch at the restaurant where we had our wedding rehearsal dinner.

5. Visiting the Portland Japanese Garden on a crisp, winter day. We had the place to ourselves.

6. Splurging on coming-home-from-the-hospital-outfits for the twins from Hanna Andersson.


Things that were not so cool about our trip:

1. The flight out. Long. Turbulent. Exhausting. Queasy. Ugh. But worth it.

2. The fact that GH felt like crap until Thursday, including one day of low-grade fever. Mostly he was just exhausted, with the accompanying persistent queasiness and general blahs. I'm glad he could focus on resting.

3. Leaving.

Re: leaving, I was actually pretty ready to come home until I got home. I was looking forward to sleeping in our own bed, having a day to just relax before diving into a new week. And we did have a very nice evening last night. We got home around 7:00, ordered some Indian food to be delivered, watched a lot of Olympics, got unpacked, and just enjoyed being home. But I slept restlessly, already thinking about all the things I need to do this week, the calls to make, the errands to run. I woke up cranky and annoyed. The fact of the matter is that as much as I love my friends, my home, our life here in Massachusetts, I really wish we lived in Oregon. I feel stuck here sometimes. We have jobs, insurance, good doctors, etc. here that would be very difficult to replicate in Oregon. And now we own and house and soon we'll have kids. I'm not unhappy here, but I sure do miss my family. That's all.

Maybe a little breakfast will improve my outlook. In any case, I hope that everyone out there in the computer had an OK week. More to come as this week wears on. GH has a radiation consult on Monday and chemo on Thursday, then I see the OB on Friday. Bring on the doctors!