28 April 2010

Updates: Shoes, Books

Since people asked in comments:

1. Shoes


They are here and there are amazing. They are comfortable and sassy. Two thumbs up.

2. Book(s)

Yeah, so, a while ago, I was going to write a book. In fact, about a year ago, I did write a book. I would link to it online, but I can't find it anywhere on the web. The book is called Four Seasons of Fun, and it was published by Hallmark, in their gift books division. It's all about free and low-cost activities to do as a family, with one activity per year organized seasonally. Long-time readers may remember that I pissed a bunch of people off by asking right here in this blog for suggestions on activities to include. Yes, I asked for help! I'M SUCH A BAD PERSON.

Anyway, the book has been published and I know that it's sold at least one copy because a Facebook friend of mine bought one. I should try to get a copy at some point. Huh.

Also book-related, about a year and a half ago, I talked to an agent about writing a memoir. The agent was very encouraging and I was excited and then, I totally dropped the ball.

There are a bunch of reasons why I dropped the ball. As it would happen, shortly after meeting with the agent, I went through one of the hardest stages to date in my grief process. I also went through a hard time personally outside of the grief stuff, with a job at a company that was clearly going south; the struggle with the decision to put my house on the market; a lot of crazy, mixed up emotions around getting back into dating; and little that felt stable or settled in my existence. I never wrote a proposal or first chapter or anything and I never even told my agent what was going on. Then I moved in with CV, got my job at Reed, moved cross country, etc. etc. etc.

Once I felt a bit more settled here in Oregon, I decided to reach back out to my agent. I had no expectations. It took a while for me to hear anything back, and in the interim, I tried to work a little on the memoir. In doing so, I realized that I have no interest in writing it. What do I really have to say? Woman experiences tragedy and triumpsh? BORING. OVERDONE. Woman handles adversity with grace? Snore. Woman survives and goes on to have totally mundane life? Super snore.

I've become connected to so many amazing people through blogging, many of them young widows like myself, some of whom are writing memoirs or creating resources and foundations for grieving families and friends. I'm so grateful to them for helping to make people aware of how hard grief is for everyone and for pushing our society to be more open in talking about death and grief and what it does to people.

As I watch my cohorts reach out to people, help and educate them in a more public way, I have come to understand that I don't wish to do that. I don't want to write a book. I'm not moved to start a foundation. I might want to do those things someday, but I haven't felt that click that indicates to me that I've found the thing, my thing, to do. I'm learning about patience and not forcing things, and this is another exercise in that. If I am meant to share—beyond what I do here in this blog—what I have learned from my life with others, then I'll figure out how to do that when the time is right.

As it would happen, my agent did eventually get back to me to say that she was in a different job now and not taking on new book projects. How's that for the universe looking out for me? I finally come to the conclusion that I don't want to do the project and she isn't available to mentor me anyway. VoilĂ .

Anything else y'all want to hear about? If I get no requests, I'm going to write about running. I'm so into the running! Consider yourselves warned.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've always been a lurker...never a commenter until today! I'm trying to become a runner, be my mentor and talk about that as much as you'd like!!

Thanks!
Lori Servello

Mandy said...

Yes, I am interested in the running as well!

Anonymous said...

Super interested in running. I've never done it, but I've secretly wanted to start (and maybe do the couch to 5K thing).....I need to get in shape in a crazy way. Please share!

Kristi (usually a lurker sometimes a commenter)

:o)

caro said...

Ooh, write about the running.

Lyndsay said...

Running? That will just make me feel lazy.

How about pictures? I want to see how your kids have grown up since we last saw them!

MCM Mama said...

So, come on over and hang with us running mommy bloggers! There are a lot of us out here...

Soon, Then said...

Yes! Your running motivates me, so let's get to it! ;)

Deirdre said...

Are you still involved with Al-Anon?

Tami said...

More about the kids please! How are they liking school and Portland and being close to your family? What are they into? How cute are they?? :)

Catherine said...

I totally miss your American Idol reviews....are you still watching?? Who is your favorite?

Jen said...

I've got a very selfish question: I'm wondering what advice you'd give a entering Reed freshman. The son of a very dear friend will be attending next fall.

Oh, and any dating updates?

Anonymous said...

I want to read about Africa and Peace Corps. I'm an RPCV from Panama and am a sucker for Peace Corps stories-good and bad.

amyinbc said...

I confess.. I love reading about women who are left, by no fault of their own through divorce, death or whatever and how they find it them to rise to it all and move one..

Am I trying to prepare myself for something or do I just really enjoy seeing/reading about a woman who rose above and went on to live a stimulating and happy life...? I don't know but so appreciate the fact that for centuries women have been making it on their own and moving on to different life circumstances after loss through whatever means.

Please do not consider your story done or trite. It is your story and your readers prove it is a compelling one Snick. Never sell yourself short!

BiancaW said...

I would love to hear about your running, but would be totally jealous!! I did the 9 weeks of C25K, then the hight of summer hit and I just fell totally off the wagon. Have not run since the beginning of Feb and I fell so bad about it!!

Anonymous said...

You have a skillful way of writing about something you're currently experiencing and then tying in a story from the past that illuminates a central theme that ties it all together. I love when you do that.

So, while I could probably handle reading about running (which, as you know, I hate) the way you'll likely write about it, I'd love to get more of the flash-back-type posts, too.

Specifically? Sure, PC would be great since I know the bit players. Also -- the oboe, more about john before the cancer, making new friends (frown), being an only child.. Just some ideas since you're fielding requests.

CV

Anonymous said...

Your thing. Maybe you are already doing it. Or at least, what it is right now. I think your blog is great.

tree town gal said...

I like running. :} Babble and blog as you will. I'll love it!

OTRgirl said...

I like that you're redefining the blog rather than leaving it! (speaking from a selfish perspective)

Your posts on parenting are always interesting. I'd be interested in more about work. Portland. Ongoing life dramas, of course. Books you've read. If you talk about running, I'll just feel guilty... so just do it!

sarzini said...

Running (do you run with an iPod? What's on your playlist?), what are you reading?, what do you feed your kids (I'm always looking for dinner ideas)? Peace Corps days - the good, the bad, the ugly?

Jen said...

I've been here through the grief and cheered you on through the parenting. I would still love to read, no matter the subject. I love reading about single motherhood no matter the circumstances that got us here. Thank you for writing.

Sarahviz said...

Yes! I want to hear about the running!

cluelesscarolinagirl said...

I'm glad to hear you're moving on....eh...how to say that without sounding insensitive? I mean, obviously you will have a hole in your heart till the day you take your last breath, but I'm glad you're slowly moving on. You have to. You honor John by joy and laughter and good times with his children far more than a lifetime spent stuck in a past that can never return. Eh, am I being insensitive? I know one woman who has been widowed for 20 years and when you ask her how she's doing she always replies..not good since I lost my husband.