28 January 2010

Today

There's too much to do right now.

There's parenting.

There's work.

There's the extra work of a freelance job.

There's figuring out what to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

There's packing for a weekend at the coast.

There's communicating with the landlord about house stuff.

There's remembering to order milk from the dairy.

There's nearly being overdrawn in the checking account.

There's keeping in touch with friends.

There's cleaning up toys, doing dishes, not letting the house go to hell in a handbasket.

There's laundry.

There's worrying about various and sundry things.

There's grocery shopping.

There's going for a run.

There's planning ahead for the preschool Celebration of Love and Friendship.

There's guilt about all the things that aren't being done.

There's paying bills. Oh, right, the checking account. Sigh.

There's an occasional glass of wine + TV show.

There's showering.

There's managing the endless ebb and flow of stuff in the house.

There's grieving.

There's trying to take care of myself, mentally and physically.

There's negotiating.

There's being responsible.

There's going to bed too late.

There's trying to be OK with not doing it all.

There's a constant reassessment of what is critical.

There's a continued realization that even what's critical isn't always getting done.

There's stress.

There's coffee.

There's getting upset about stupid stuff.

There's trying to do better next time.

There's gratitude.

There's giving in.

There's letting go.

There's serenity.

Sometimes, there's serenity.

21 comments:

allie o said...

LOL, No wonder my husband always says our (womens) brains never shut off! I can totally relate. I think EVERY WOMAN in the world has days where we think like that.

On a day like this.. remember this story... http://babyfit.sparkpeople.com/articles.asp?id=655

The big things are the only things that really matter at the end of the day. :-)

Ginevra said...

WORD. Why is figuring out what to eat so, so taxing? Let alone cooking it.

Love you,

Jen

Janine (txmomx6) said...

I'm right there with you.
There's a lot.

June said...

Heavens! Sometimes your blog reminds me of myself (w/o children). I've not commented in a while but, I still admire your togetherness you have in dealing w/the issues of daily life, while rearing 2 beautiful twin children. I think of you often. You are so talented putting your thoughts together in your blog. Best wishes! Give M&R a hug for me.

Watercolor said...

amen

Supa Dupa Fresh said...

I feel ya, hon. Even though I've remarried, I have the same shit.

Okay, a few less, but dinner is still a mess pretty much every day.

X

Supa

(another) Karen said...

There's surviving the day, putting the little one to bed, curling up with my laptop and what's left of brain and going -

"yeah. what SHE said......"

Sandi said...

I hear you. It sucks having to do it all yourself.

django's mommy said...

TESTIFY, sista.

mek said...

Sing it!

Susan said...

Oh, I'm feeling it right with ya...the whole planning meals thing...I'm just sucking at it lately =( The whole keeping money in the checking, yup, not so good....feeling ya. And oh, by the way, I want to be able to order milk - who knew you could do that???

OTRgirl said...

Very well said.

Mary Ellen said...

What a comprehensive (and exhausting even to read) account. Is the second job needed because of the bank account thing? My recent time saver: frozen meals from Trader Joe's that I actually like. Here's hoping you get some more of that serenity - in your weekend away.

Michèle Hastings said...

you just described my life...yeah my kid is 30 years old but the parenting never ends... grief is all encompassing ... it makes EVERY decision more complex.

winecat said...

Hang in there Snick, you're doing a great job but being a little hard on yourself. You have to be both parents not just to 1 child but 2.

Anonymous said...

I like this.

So Not Wishy Washy said...

I am so feeling you on this post. I could cut and paste it and just use it for one at my place, sister. Hang in there.

I gotta tell you, you inspire me every day because of the tenacity, compassion, and perseverance that define your core. You may not feel your own strength, but I know it's there.

Lean on those who love you and enjoy the snippets of serenity until you can take a deep breath.

NanarocksWeen said...

you're really GOOD at saying what you are feeling. I often share your posts with my daughters - both around your age, and both with some of the same issues. Thanks for sharing, Snick. Your blog always makes me stop and think.

Alison said...

You just wrote down my life. No wonder I'm so tired. And don't you find yourself almost paralysed when you lift your eyes from the day to day stuff and look at the relentlessness of it all?

E said...

Hey! I get milk delivery from my local dairy, too! The only problem is that when the boys' school wants empty milk cartons sent in we only have glass bottles. Oh well...

Yankee, Transferred said...

There's blogging, and there are friends, too. Sending big hugs. Oh, and my word verification:
BIGHTS. I love it.