25 August 2008

Buyer's Remorse?

Worst line so far from an online profile (punctuation his):
I'd like a woman who could be a 'lady' in the streets but a 'freak' in the sheets.
Good luck with that, sir.

UPDATE: Evidently the guy was trying to quote from a Ludacris song. He got it wrong, making him inept even at plagiarism! I will say, it has been good for continued laughs . . .

30 comments:

bg's Little Sis said...

I'm laughing so hard right now, that someone would seriously write that just slays me...good luck Snick! At least you're getting some comic relief?

regan said...

Did you barf when you read that, because I almost did all over my computer.

I would want to set up a date with that guy just to see the train wreck in person.

Lori said...

I'm dying to read the "match" to that profile. Just think of the possible screen names!

Anonymous said...

It is a song lyric. Sad, sad, sad. On his part, not yours.

Becca said...

He didn't even get it right! It's "A lady in the street but a freak in the BED!"

I hope he finds happiness somehow.

Becky said...

Oh, god, that's terrible! Luckily, I'm sure there are plenty of other options out there....

In his defense (sort of), he's paraphrasing a Ludacris song.

http://www.lyricstime.com/ludacris-yeah-lyrics.html

See last verse. However, he still sounds like a weirdo, and you should stay away. But you knew that already. :)

Klynn said...

Well, you know they're all thinking it...but should he say it? Nope. Claaasssy. Or maybe just assy.

I'm sure that reading the profiles will prove to be more of an amusing diversion than anything else. But, you never know.

I went to a wedding not too long ago that resulted from a single day's listing on a match making website. She'd been listed for 6 months, he just joined that day...they actually almost knew each other because their kids went to the same daycare. The rest is history. Not saying that it will happen...just that it could...maybe.

Have fun reading, though!

Goddess in Progress said...

I... Just... Wow. That's special.

Jenn said...

I think somebody's been listening to too much Ludacris!

Anonymous said...

That is a line from an Usher song for God's sake!!!! Freak in the bed, yeah, yeah yeah,
It's stuck in my head nowand for the rest of the day - thanks alot!! LOL!!!

Sooo....did you respond back to that bright spark or what?? teehee

Silver said...

Wow! That's all I got... WOW..

Keen said...

Oh, my.

I've heard so many awesome success stories that I'm convinced online dating is a good thing. But I suppose there's wheat, and then there's chaff. Or freaks. Or something.

I've loved your thoughtful posts about all of this and I think it's so cool that you've done it. Sounds like it's entertaining--how I would love to hang out and read these ads with you while drinking a nice bottle of wine!

What A Card said...

Hee! Well, it's a good way to rule out any non-Ludacris fans!

That is so funny! Can you write back and say "Well, I'm a 'lady' in the street, but a dude in the sheets. Is that freaky enough for you?"

I mean, the "'s around lady make it sound like he's looking for a non-lady! Oh hilarious punctuation!

WendyB said...

The sad thing is that the song itself isn't an original concept, that's such an old line. My favorite version of it is Jerry Hall's:
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/jerryhall182855.html

Jill said...

Ew, and I think he was trying to rhyme.

Giovanna said...

you mean you're not interested?
talk about super picky! HAHAHAHA!!
Run! Just Run Away! Fast!

Anonymous said...

If you are going to laugh about it later, laugh about it now!!!
No remorese...haha
And if you are going to laugh about it at all do share with us..we need a laugh!!
Have fun!!

And this one will not be the worst...I can almost promise..hahaha!!!!!

Lauren :)

Leigh (Tenn) said...

Just a lurker here, but I've been reading for awhile. I'm so glad you paid for your membership. Just look at it as fun entertainment for all of us through you! And you never know what you might find.

C. said...

Did the online dating thing for a while and should write a book. Don't want to dash hopes, but been single for a long time and would rather be this way than internet date ever again. I would be happy to share some pointers as to what to be careful of and what to look for.

Anonymous said...

Tips:

1. Dating sites self select. If you paid for Match, please, eat that cost and go to a different site. Too many men on Match are game players who don't know what they want. Totally OK if you don't know what you want, but wouldn't you rather be on a site with more folks who are "relationship material," nonetheless?

2. Before long, you will develop the ability to suss out ten-years' old pictures, hyperbole and liars, beyond the obviously Ludicris (pun intended). In the meantime, understand there will be a learning curve and don't let it discourage you.

3. This one is key. Avoid getting into a correspondence without meeting. That is, if you think you may be interested in someone, then meet for a quick coffee after just a very few e-mail interactions. 3a. Of course, it is fine not to meet anyone, ever. But if it turns out that you do choose not to meet anyone yet, don't keep communicating with any one person either. 3b. Or, if you do experiment with a relationship via e-mail, know that it is just experimentation. Plan from the outset to end it abruptly and without guilt.

In short, developing any relationship whatsoever beyond getting the basic info, before you meet, just does not work. It is better to meet much more quickly than you might imagine. Does this make sense?

Sorry, I'm just feeling protective . . .

Tiffi33 said...

O.M.G
THAT has to be in the top 10 bad internet pick up lines..
(well, maybe the top 100?)

See, I told ya it would be entertaining

Aimee said...

I wasn't going to respond because I'm laughing like everyone else. But then I read the tips posted by Anon and wanted to share my own:

Meet in a public place. Even better, have some friends go if that is possible.

I'm speaking from experience... when I was 18 and 19 and very stupid, naive and too trusting. Thankfully, nothing terrible happened, but I shiver when I think of it.

madelyn said...

Wow, am I the only one who's actually heard that line before, I mean pre-Ludacris? Maybe it's a DC thing (he's from these parts). Yet another contribution from your nation's capital. enjoy!

Cheryl Lage said...

OOOOhhh he sounds hot. Can you send me his email? ;)

Oh wait, I read it wrong...he didn't volunteer to to sweep my streets and change my sheets? ;)

Snick you are wonderful. Foresee giggle-fest ahead...

Karen said...

That is a very popular saying. Oh yes, and Luda did say "A lady in the street and freak in the bed".

squeaky_tr said...

Okay so I've been reading your blogs for a while now and have always wanted to respond, after reading this post it was manditory! Those online dating guys are a riot!!! Who says that? I joined an online dating site and one guy insisted on picking me up the whole way to the restaurant he played his music on full blast and didn't say a single word to me. Your post was so FUNNY!!! Good luck to you!

monica said...

I spent many years on and off match.com - one of my rules was that if the profile used the word lady - he was not for me.

I'm a match.com success story - I met someone 1.5 years ago and we are in the process of blending families - buying a house, planning a ceremony of some type. Turns out that my match lived right up the street - less than a mile away, though it was in the next town (by the way - I am fairly positive I live in your actual town). Once I got to know him, I'd see his car going up and down the main street on the way to Trader Joes all the time! Weird - why couldn't we have just bumped into each other in that crazy parking lot instead of having to find each other on the net?!!

anyway...

My own mantra was "meet and delete" meaning that I did not like to spend too much time in correspondence before meeting someone for coffee. It takes a lot of effort to write those emails and have those phone conversations. Then when you meet, if you don't have a connection, it is harder to let it go cause you have spent time getting to know this person. And they might be perfectly nice, but just not "it". I don't know - I suppose everyone finds their won way on these sites, but after years of match.com I found what worked for me and had success!

Don't get discouraged- and have fun!

Anonymous said...

wow. i've been on match/eharmony for awhile and have lots of stories, but that one takes the cake. sometimes it's just fun to see the sea of humanity washing upon the shore.... no telling what will show up!

Anonymous said...

I didn't add the "meet in a public place," and "tell a friend your plans," tips because I know Snick will be 100% smart and safe. I've only heard one scary story in all my friends' many escapades in online dating, and it was because the scumbag was married, not (it seems) dangerous in any other, even scarier way. And she was a smart cookie and ifgured it out quickly. Um, that was meant to be reassuring.

But speaking of (actually) reassuring . . .

Monica, I love your Match story and totally eat my words!

Jen said...

reminds me of trying to choose b's donor dad. the number of profiles that listed "weight lifting and long walks on the beach" as interests... ugh! it's not like they were looking for a date in this case! one guy even put "to go where no man has gone before" in the section where it lets them tell their future bio-child some advice (we didn't use that bank.. just weird)...

i thought i heard some laughing come from your direction!