For some musings on toddler gender bending, see my post over at How Do You Do It? Moms of Multiples Tell It Like It Is. I'll be posting over there every other Tuesday starting today.
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Moi
- Snickollet
- I'm a mother and a widow, and a whole lot of other things. Here, though, I tend to write about parenting, grief, and their intersection.
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14 comments:
My triplet girls (3.5 years old) have different likes and dislikes. One likes Winnie-the-Pooh, one likes any thing purple with faries and the other likes Spiderman. At first I hesitated to buy Spiderman pajamas for a girl but then decided - this is what she likes, who am I to force her to like something else just because it does not fit the stereotype "little girl pajamas". All 3 like to play with dolls just as much as they like to play with cars, buckets & spades - its their decission, not mine and it cannot harm them.
Will you remind us every other week so we don't miss your other postings? Please....
Really nice article over there! Great job. And as for Riley and the girl clothes, very good job to you mom. I had the opposite experience, my daughter was a 'boy' from age 2 (the moment she could take off her pink clothes) to about 6. She wore boy clothes, boy haircut, and had boy friends, and played boy sports for all 3.5 years. She was always mistaken for a boy and she loved it. She slowly transitioned back to a girl :-) and is completely normal as a girl (albeit a tomboy) now. She plays soccer like a boy, but otherwise is a beautiful, long-haired girl who dresses like a girl and is extremely confident and happy. I'm really glad I let her be who she wanted to be.
Great post! It's nice to see parents not trying to stuff their kids into some preconceived notion!
Keep it up!
Like juicebox_mom said, I think most kids come to terms with their genders eventually. I desperately wanted to be a boy until about third grade. At that point, I read some Judy Bloom and was suddenly content with being a girl.
Heather--
I'll definitely link over from here to all of my How Do They Do It posts.
-snick
I don't know if I could be so relaxed about the clothing. I love that Ella likes trucks and is getting into motorcycles, but I can see myself getting very uptight if I had a boy who wanted to wear "girly" clothes. However, I am pretty sure that Riley inherited the love for pretty things and sparkles from his daddy. Keep up the good work, Snick!
fun! more of you to read now!
as for the other gender/bender...well, you already know as we had a nice long email discussion about it....but at this age...honestly....who cares.
Sparkle it up Riley!
I have a cousin whose son loves to wear princess clothes. He has his own princess dress. I'm guessing it is because his sister likes princess dresses.
I babysat a set of twins from when they were 2 1/2 to when they were about seven. The boy-twin loved wearing nailpolish. Her? Not so much, although she has always been very girly in most ways. They're both perfectly wonderful, normal kids.
Well, as the mom of a kid who is about as stereotypically "boy" as he could be (he loves mud, trucks, being filthy, destroying things, and anything to do with trains), I often encourage him to pursue "girly" diversions (we always stroll down the Barbie aisle at the toy store, and I always ask him if he wants to get a doll - so far no luck, he always wants some vehicle or other).
Thank god, this is also a child who loves watching figure skating (and pretending he is skating) and ballet dancing. He also loves to carry around my purse, and tells me often that I love "fabulous mommy, just fabulous". And he loves pink. All of which horrifies my husband, but he can deal. Especially since I often have to lecture him when he says things to our son like, "You're screaming like a girl!" Drives me crazy, that does. The good fight continues...
As the mom of a ballet-dancing boy, I have to say I've thought a lot about this. My conclusion? I have a lot bigger problem with non-traditional gender roles than anybody else, and I need to just go with it. Maybe it's all just phases kids go in and out of during youth, or maybe we're just raising more open-minded kids. It can't be a bad thing.
That is pretty neat that you are so relaxed with their choices. This may be out of line, but do you think John would have been as okay with it as you are? I know I have wanted to buy my son dolls and such, and my husband gives me such a hard time about it. I finally just convinced him it is okay for him to wear a little boy's shirt that has pink stripes in it.
I have a good friend with two boys, 4 & 6. The 4 year old is OBSESSED with Island Princess Barbie, and loves to get dressed up, wear lip gloss, etc. I have been very impressed with how both parents handle it- they are very nonchalant, although I think they discourage him from wearing his tutu AND tiara to school.
So, when my 3 year old saw me painting my toenails while he was in the bath on Friday and wanted the same on his toes, I whipped out the Crushed Plum and painted 'em. Sure, his daycare teachers whooped it up when he proudly showed them, but whatever.
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