Mom leaves today.
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Riley woke up cranky at 5:30 a.m.
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In-laws arrive on Friday.
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I'm feeling broke.
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I have to leave work early to take Ri-Man to the doctor today
because he has an awful, itchy rash that I think is eczema.*
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I'm tired.
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And I'm tired of doing it all by myself.
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My husband is dead.
=
I am unhappy.**
*Now I'm just waiting for signs of asthma. I hear that peanut allergy + eczema + asthma is the a classic trio of ailments. Whee. He's had this rash for a while now—behind the knees and on his trunk—and I've been able to control it with lots and lots and lots of Aquaphor, but this time it's getting out of hand and the poor kids is just wandering around scratching himself and piteously saying, "Itchy, itchy, itchy."
**I really don't feel like I'm depressed, as in clinically-depressed-medication-would-help. I'm just sad. And stymied by how to fix the things that are making me feel that way.
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25 comments:
Awww. There, there. (When you get my voicemail, you'll see I might have to bail on you for Wednesday, which I'm really sorry about, because I know if I were having a day like you're having, I would be looking forward to a night with a friend. Argh. But call or email me and we'll discuss.) ASH woke up at 5 or so, too. I guess today is National Toddler Early Rising Day, only nobody warned the parents!
Love you,
J
I'm in solidarity with you on some of these points. My little guy wakes at 5 routinely, is struggling with eczema or something behind the knees and all over his back/neck, and is Mr. Cranky Pants too. While my husband is hanging in there (for which i am extremely grateful), he's pretty low about his treatment regimen and frequently feels depressed. Isn't life grand sometimes?
Seriously, I think you're doing an awesome job with the kids. I hope you can get some relief for Riley and find a few moments of peace for yourself. Thinking of you often and hoping that in the sadness you can find some joy. Good luck with the upcoming visit.
Wishing there was something I could do to help.
My sweet snick... I wish I could offer more than just a cyber hug or inane words of empty comfort. When LN had minor eczema-like dry spots, I used a lot of vaseline right after her bath... (I'm a big fan of vaseline...)
Poor Ri-man. Hugs to both of you... wish I could do more. Dammit, why couldn't we live in the same city.
The eczema could certainly be linked to the possibility of asthma and food allergies. Take it one step at a time. Ask someone for help to hang with Mads while you take Ri-Man to the doctor, if that's possible.
I have no idea what will help you feel better. Know that I'll be traveling north this summer and will be more than happy to throw you in the car with me and take all of the kids on an adventure.
*hard hugs*
Thank you for continuing to share your life with us. I feel much richer because you're a part of my days.
Hey dude..
Hope you didn't slip on your way in this morning.. that would have just capped off your morning!
Check with Sally about the peanut allergy/eczema/asthma thing.. her pedi or a doctor her pedi is affiliated with is doing a study on twins and this combo of issues.
As far as his skin.. hope the doc can give you some helpful tips and make the itch better for the big guy. Ben doesn't have eczema (to our knowledge), but has rediculously sensitive skin.. we have to bath him in Aveno Oatmeal Bath and can only use J&J Naturals Body Wash on him or he breaks out in a horrible rash. i also have a stick of J&J "balm" for babies that you can use for chapped, dry, itchy skin.. i have to put it on ben's knees and cheeks and it has helped. of course.. every kid has a different protocol. shiela's son from her last relationship had really bad eczema when he was little and they had to keep baths to a real minimum.. a quick dunk, or he'd have lots of trouble. He's 11 now and has outgrown it.
the bright spot to the day... idol is on tonite. *hug*
Jen (Ben's mom -- there are too many Jen's in the world.. i'm going to change my name...)
You manage so so so well. The thing about having help stay with you is that it is always much much tougher when they go. The eczema may clear up - my baby had it and it went. Make sure you only wash your clothes in ALL perfume free - the perfumes in all other detergents (especially Dreft) can make skin conditions worse. Also after baths, don't dryt him 100%, smear him in Vaseline and get a wet towel as hot as he can stand it and wrap him in it - like a mini sauna and may help with moisture in the skin.
And a big glass of wine for you tonight.
Mumof4:
Thank you for the reminder about the detergent. I accidentally bought some all-natural-all-goodness stuff for the cloth diapers that has a bit of a scent to it--lavender, I think. I will cease using that now as it could indeed be part of the problem. Thank you!
Also: good tip on the Vaseline/towel.
And very good tip on the large glass of wine.
-snick
I'm sorry, darlin'. Sounds like you've got too much going on right now.
I think you are doing a stupendous job. I think of you daily.
On the excema front. One toddler I knew who had nasty, nasty, excema in all his skin folds. When a visiting British MD casually told his mom to eliminate milk from his diet it disappeared altogether.
Also, when my own kids, one of whom had cradle cap (they were leaning towards psoriasis) until he entered kdg and has asthma, and the other of whom has the most sensitive skin ever, have rashes of any sort I have found olive oil, of all things, slathered on liberally at bedtime and covered with cotton clothing works miracles over night. I found that on a psoriasis website when we were worrying the cradle cap thing was psoriasis and it helped much better and quicker than steroid-type things. Also for the others rashes/excema. Just some "food" for thought.
We use only ALL free, and free everything else too, for my rashy household. The "triple A" genetics (asthma, allergies, atopic dermatitis aka excema) hold strong.
LisaK
The Brazenette had excema. It went away eventually.
She was prescribed antihistimines, and some kind of cream.
She felt much better once treated.
Most of the ladies have already covered most of what I have to offer re:ecama, but I'll summarize:
*detergents-free of everything. When Son was struggling (he's pretty much grown out of it now) I also used the 2nd rinse option on my washer. We didn't have a problem with Dreft, but Tide Free worked well too.
*soaps/washes-Aveeno Baby Wash has been fine, as well as (strangely) Caress free.
*while Riley may be flirting with the asthma trifecta, it may be worth it to look at diet. Non-fermented (read: straight milk) is a huge trigger. He can have cheese, but Soy is the only liquid.
You're doing fine-we all get overwhelmed some days. Huge cyber hugs your way.
Also, it might be strep or some other toddler illness.
So, you're not walking on sunshine these days! Well, it can only get better, right?
As for the asthma....that does stink...but know once you know how to treat it and recognize the early signs....it's quite easy to handle/monitor. I would know!
Cheer up .... go watch the "I'm F&%$#ing Matt Damon/Ben Affleck" Videos.
For eczema, we've had great luck with a 1% hydocortosone cream (we use cort-aid). Talk to your pedi of course, but that has worked so well for us. I was worried about using a topical steroid, but it works wonders, clearing up all the itchiness right away and preventing it from turning into itchy, scratchy messes. And we haven't had to use much...we're just at the end of the very small tube we bought when they were babies over two years ago.
And the asthma...yeah, that's not fun. But it's not terrible. You deal. Hopefully he won't get asthma, but if he does, it's manageable.
Besides, you have lots of support on the food allergy/eczema/asthma front. Seriously, how come so many of us have one twin with those problems? Please email me if you want to talk about it all. I have an awesome pedi allergist!
You're doing great, and it's okay to be sad sometimes.
Go watch those videos Gio suggested, too. Did you see Brad Pitt? Definitely made up for the view of a topless Jimmy Kimmel :)
There are no pills that can do your mourning for you. You are an amazing woman.
It's tough, I guess these are things in life that force you to go through the middle, not around, and they make us sad, but hopefully it is a process and the solutions present themselves when the time is right. Sending good thoughts your way.
My goodness if you weren't sad I'd be worried about you.
sending hugs ((((((Snick))))) your way.
Good luck with the In-laws
This is not meant as "you should do this" assvice. I'm just curious why moving to Oregon is not a serious option for you.
When I read about you feeling so good when your mom or dad is there, I want that for you and for the twins a whole lot more!
On a more practical note, last year we moved from one of the most expensive parts of the country to a part that has a cost of living expense that is slightly less than average. It has a made a positive impact in our lives. Stress about money is tough.
Again, not saying you should do this! Truly! If you don't want to answer why Oregon is not in the cards, that's fine too.
Kathleen
Our Caius has eczema too (although it usually only breaks out during dry weather or when the Santa Ana winds come around)...We put Eucedrin lotion on him after his bath and that seems to help better than other lotions. We try to stay away from the medicated creams but I think we're lucky that his is pretty mild.
He also has a peanut/tree nut allergy.
I really hope he doesn't get asthma too!
I'm sorry you're feeling sad...I hope things start looking up soon.
If it's any consolation, I think you are amazing. When I'm having a particularly tough day, I think of you, and wonder how on earth you do it on your own. Sending positive thoughts your way.
Delurking to day that I had terrible eczema as a child, and my son (the kid who looks and acts just like me) has it too. He's 7, and we have a routine of eucerin cream for the regular days, hydrocortisone for more redness, and a special cream for the really bad days when the skin is broken or causing trouble. Too much detail, but what you need to know is that it's not hard to keep it under control when you have a plan, and he won't have to be itchy all the time! Your doctor will help - this is a really common problem, especially in the winter.
My son has eczema and peanut allergies too, but no asthma (cross fingers). He's had 2 episodes of wheezing when sick but has been OK otherwise.
On the minus side, he hates being "gooped" and despite the steroid cream, his skin is like SANDPAPER.
To Nina--is Caius his real name, or a nickname? I love it!
You may have already heard this but my daughter has exzema and her ped said a little hydrocortizone can help. He said it is worst in winter (hopefully not much more to go!) and expects that she will outgrow it.
I had no idea about the triple thing. Thanks for writing about this. I will definitely watch.
I am so sorry that you are sad. I read your whole blog and it seems like John is someone that I would have liked to have met. I am thinking of you and the babes.
Thinking of you
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