26 November 2007

Side Effect

Warning: one of the many side* effects of grief appears to be grey hair.

I used to find a grey hair every month or so. I have dark hair, so the greys stand out. I would pluck the shimmering offender,** and move on, gloating on the inside that I'd reached the age of 35 with barely a grey hair to speak of, and I come from a long line of folks who go grey early.

Alas, the gloating and the grief have caught up with me. I was in the bathroom at work today and as I tried to tame my messed-up nest with my hand, I found a treasure-trove of grey. More than I could count. More than I could pluck! Alas, there was little to deny, and while I did become briefly angry and considered making a few bargains, I now seem to be stuck between depression and acceptance.

I know it's not just the grief. The kids, the genetics . . . so be it.

*I first mistyped that as dies. Oops.
**I know, I know, you're not supposed to pluck them. But how could I resist?

27 comments:

ccinnkeeper said...

It could be a side-effect of parenting,too.

Hair dye is your friend. The stuff in boxes is really pretty good if you can't justify the cost at a salon. Take the plunge; you'll feel better. Hey, change the color if you want. Why not?

Anonymous said...

I use a dark brown Sharpie.

Brenda said...

Be a blond...they have more fun!

Anonymous said...

I come from a family of red heads who are notorious for 30 year old completely grey locks. Yes, hair dye is your friend.

Rachel said...

It sucks, doesn't it.

Funny, I just took the plunge and bought a box of drugstore hair dye this weekend.

Angela said...

I'm sorry, that is no fun at all. I know parenting has given me more grey hairs, I'm just surprised I have more black hair than grey. That's why they have such great products on the market...go forth and buy.

peach said...

i was so proud and stubborn about my grey hair... last year i dove into dying it... so now every 8 weeks or so i have a date with miss clarol in my kitchen :-) i love the conditioner that comes in the blue tube (cant think of the brand) but the box is white comes from walmart or CVS under 10 bucks and wahla a new woman :-) indulge my friend indulge!
HUGSSSSS

Anonymous said...

You just have to change your point of view!

*MY* black hair isn't graying - it's SPARKLING!

Anonymous said...

Have to agree, could be side effect of parenting twins. I marvel at how much I have aged in the 10 years since they were born.

However, after we lost my brother to suicide my father turned grey within months. You could have a point.

Janice said...

Right after losing my Mother I noticed a patch of grey. If plucking them made you get two in its place, I would have a head full of thick hair! Leave it, dye it or pluck it. You earned them all!

Rev Dr Mom said...

FWIW, I've had visible gray hair since I was 25, and my kids in their 20s do, too.

I kinda like mine...hair coloring was always too much work, and I've always gotten compliments on the color of my hair.

C. said...

Went grey in my early 20's. When I showed up for Thanksgiving the first thing out of my sister's mouth was "OMG, you are SOOOO grey!!" Needless to say, I went home and colored my hair.

Should you decide to go that route, get the professional stuff from the beauty supply and get semi-perm. It is A LOT cheaper to do it yourseld (6 bucks v. 40-50) and it takes about 20 minutes not including the shower to wash it out.

Then the up keep is a pain in the ass every 6 or so weeks, but I have to say, it is better than being grey, I think. And by the way, the not plucking the grey hairs is an old wives tale. Were it true, my very bald father would be pulling out every grey hair to have 2 grow back in its place. Pull them out if you can. I have a full on grey streak and I just turned 33.

Anonymous said...

Am somehwat older (49 tomorrow) but I love my grey hair! I have streaks mostly. I get stopped all the time at the mall, etc., and people ask who did it for me -- I say "Mother Nature and my students" -- I just don't get the dying process and all the money that it entails.

Be grey and proud! Look at Time Magazine about 2 weeks ago for story on how more and more women are embracing their grey.

kim said...

*sigh* We must be from the same family. My dad's side gets totally grey by their 30s and I sport quite a few myself. Seriously, the boxed stuff isn't so bad - at less than $10 a pop, it's relatively quick and not even all that stinky. You could always start out with the semi-permanent stuff (washes out in 24 shampoos) to give it a try first, or even try out a new shade/color...

Jana said...

I'm in the minority here, but I think grey hair is gorgeous. Of course, I'm still blonde. But I just had a conversation with my stylist about how many women are choosing to go grey naturally. It's sexy! Work it!

Emmie (Better Make It A Double) said...

I started to respond, but posted instead. Thanks for the well-timed inspiration.

Anonymous said...

I found my first gray on my 21st birthday. I immediately yelled at my mother. :)

I did dye my hair myself for a while until one time it turned out kind of purple. Ever since I get mine done professionally -- it is worth it. I bet I'd be 75% gray by now (I am 37) if I didn't color it.

Anonymous said...

I just read a new book titled "Going Grey: What I learned abou beauty, sex, work, motherhood, authenticity, and everything else that reallly matters." by Anne Kreamer

It's not a perfect book. But it is an interesting look at choosing to go gray.

I found this book at the perfect time as I have decided to stop dying my hair after all these years now that I have some gray coming in at 38. I'm getting older, I want to see what I really look like as I age. Plus, gray hair is pretty.

Here is the authors website:

http://www.annekreamer.com/book.html

Kathleen

Not so little sister said...

Um, I'm 27 and my friend said "You have some paint in your hair" yesterday. I said, "No I don't it's the gray." Ugh. Does pregnancy make your hair greyer too?

Anonymous said...

Whole Foods as a brand which you can use for two applications and your hair feels luxuriant...

Also taking good care of grey/brunette hair by conditioning it and styling it well can be sexy too. I think grey hair is unattractive when people stop styling it.

Alice

B.E.C.K. said...

Ah, it happens to the best of us. ;^) I started getting gray hair at age 19 and plucked them until I realized I'd go bald doing so. In my mid-twenties, I started coloring my hair and never looked back. The boxed hair color kits are just fine unless you want something fancy (streaks, offbeat colors). Comparatively cheap, too!

ccinnkeeper said...

If I had dark hair I might let it go grey naturally, but my hair is medium blonde and I don't like the mixture of grey in it so much. I'm perfectly willing to be all grey, I just don't like the getting there part. Plus I still look 10 years younger than I really am, an illusion I'd like to keep up for a while and the increasing grey makes that more difficult.

I agree that grey hair looks nice only when styled - and I'm not talking about those old-lady perms!

~Denise~ said...

I love the sharpie idea from anon.

I've been finding more and more of the grey and have chosen to view those greys as earned. I love the way it shines in the light against the chocolate brown hairs next surrounding it.

Caminante said...

When my sister and BIL were going through a terrible time, her hair went white. That was 22 years ago and still gets it streaked.

baby~amore' said...

my friend went grey at 22 ... I won't say anything about all the sparkling whites peppering my dark locks ... but since I had twins there are a heap more. I pluck too ...oops.
My sons were born July 2006.

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Supa Dupa Fresh said...

For a few years, I saved them and put them in a folder. Touch of OCD, and also I'm an artist. I planned to make a bird's nest of them, with pearls for eggs, as a way of expressing my mess of an experience with infertility.