30 December 2006

How to Get the Hairy Eyeball from Everyone in Your Local Trader Joe's

Take your screaming twins into the store in their double stroller. Even better, make sure one screaming twin has a big cut under her eye.* Wonder if you are making things better or worse by saying things such as, "Mommy will be as fast as she can at the store!" and "I'm sorry you're upset; we'll be going home soon!" in a loud, falsely cheerful voice.

Slink out of store with head bowed and invisible tail between legs.

(I know all parents have had such moments and I know more are to come [The tantrums! I fear the tantrums!], but boy can people give you the judgmental glares when your kids are crying!)

*Um, yes, so OK, yesterday I was holding Maddie on my lap and trying to open a package by slitting the tape with a mechanical pencil. The mechanical pencil slipped and cut Maddie under the eye. Thank goodness it didn't oh, say, GOUGE HER EYE OUT, but still. I felt horrible. My first really big dumb mom moment.

9 comments:

Cathy said...

Welcome to parenthood. Happens to the best of us.

Reminds me of the time I put one of my children in bed with us and had her on the side of the bed (nursing time) - she rolled over and fell off the bed and her front tooth cut her upper lip so bad it almost went through her front lip. That was Easter morning - needless to say, it wasn't a good picture day....

Anonymous said...

Poor Maddie. And poor Mom! It happens. Soon she'll be a toddler and injuring herself...hmmm, somehow that sounded more comforting in my head then spelled out.

Hang in there.

OTRgirl said...

Catching up after a couple days off-line. Wow. You have lots going on. I can see why 2007 looks scary. The twins are adorable. I'm so sorry for GH and you about how he's feeling.

You are both doing the best you can. No guilt allowed!

Menita said...

Ah yes. Screw 'em, you're doing a great job. Anyone who's had small children in their care knows that this kind of thing goes with the turf. Today Polly fell of a chair and smacked her nose against a dresser (it took some doing, but she managed it). Now she looks like a miniature Rocky Balboa post-fight. Steeling myself for the looks on the bus tomorrow.
I'm sorry 2007 has to be so scary. Don't know what to say on that count, except I wish things were very different.

bg's Little Sis said...

Ditto for me Snick, the parenting stuff just happens, roll with it, you're doing a fantastic job. I too wish that '07 didn't have to look so scary for you. Thinking of you and wishing you well.

-Lil'sis

BethGo said...

People need to get over themselves. Truly.
Kids cry.
My older son had a complete wig out in TJ's at age 2 over one of those stupid truck grocery carts. He was like a caged animal, screaming and panting and clawing at anyone who tried to help. It was insane.
I didn't care whether people gave me looks or not. There was just nothing I can do about it but pay for my groceries and leave.
You get through it, you know?
Don't worry about it.
You're doing fine.

Juliane said...

My sister got the Parents' Survival Guide Handbook at a secret Santa a few years ago. It advised that - when traveling with infants on an airplane, say - if the kid(s) start crying out, speak REALLY LOUDLY while trying to soothe them. In that way, the other passengers know that you're trying to do something about it rather than just letting the kid(s) cry it out. It's supposed to make the crying/screaming more tolerable by engendering sympathy. Hey - kids cry and wig out; everybody knows that and no one blames anyone for an overtired infant or a raging two year-old.

I think of it this way: in each one of us is an instinctive response to a child's cry, cultivated over thousands of years of evolution. In spite of our "civilization", people just *can't* ignore a crying child. We get played by our biology. It's a good thing :)

Yankee, Transferred said...

Yeah, screw 'em all. Either they HAD kids, or they WERE a kid one time, or both.

Sorry about the eye. Glad it wasn't worse!

Little Read Hen said...

On day two or three of having our daughter at home, her dad bumped her head against a doorway. Bumped. No real harm done, but massive infant screaming insued. He looked up, heartbroken, and said...'she'll never trust me again. She's going to hate me forever'. Um, yeah. Not so much.

I love your writing. Its really just tragic and beautiful.