Do I have your attention now?
I never thought I'd be telling the Internet about my period, but hey, here I am. Hi, Internet! I'm going to tell you about my period now. I wouldn't bother, because really boring, right? And gross. Think of this more as a public service announcement. In fact, it's not really about my period specifically, just something period-related. Here's the thing: you all need to know about the DivaCup. My best friend, Erk (alas, no blog to link to), got one and was all up in my grille about getting one. I finally caved, and holy fucking cow what took me so long? It's awesome. I'm using it for the first time today. I'd go on about it, but just read about it on the website. And trust me: it's not as icky as you might think. The insertion is nothing, and the removal is manageable. You need to be comfortable with your girl parts, but shouldn't we all feel comfortable with our girl parts?
Check it out. Trust me on this.
(FYI, I was a committed OB tampon user prior to switching to the Diva.)
What about the tofu dogs? you ask. Well, let me tell you. I'll even make a transition from the DivaCup to Smart Dogs. Here goes: The DivaCup is something I thought might be gross, but wasn't. The Smart Dog is something I thought would be good, but was gross.
Ugh. I should have known better. The phrase tofu hot dog really doesn't inspire confidence, does it?
Here's what happened. I went grocery shopping at Stop'N'Shop, a local store that I hate, but to which I have a bunch of gift cards given to me by my generous coworkers. As I'm cruising the aisles, I happen by the meatless meat section, and the dogs catch my eye. The twins and I eat veggie at home (although we eat meat out, which I guess makes us flexitarians, which sounds pretentious and makes me feel a little lame, but whatever), and I thought, "Hey! Smart Dogs! Easy way to get (overprocessed) protein (and salt salt salt) into the twins!"
So tonight I included tofu dog rounds with their meal. I didn't taste them first, and whooooo boy, if I had, the twins never would have. I try not to let my own food biases get in the way of what the twins eat. I feed them papaya, for example, even though I think it tastes like vomit. But I won't feed them anything that's just not fit for human consumption, and these dogs fit the bill. GROSS. Awful taste, awful texture. Awful. Never again! Consider yourself warned.