tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post994202802933851159..comments2024-03-20T01:12:06.791-07:00Comments on Snickollet: Belated Birthday MusingsSnickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-70756386414397172152008-12-27T04:27:00.000-08:002008-12-27T04:27:00.000-08:00I've personally been going crazy from too much mus...I've personally been going crazy from too much music. My mother and brother have the stereo going practically 24/7, and I'm the type of person who prefers quiet. It wakes me up early in the morning, cannot sleep while it's on, and rarely is music that I like.<BR/><BR/>I also want to say thank you and that you touched my heart when it comes to grief. My dad passed in September, and December has Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-49132550204231586072008-12-26T21:26:00.000-08:002008-12-26T21:26:00.000-08:00I noticed a distinct difference in mom at the end ...I noticed a distinct difference in mom at the end of two years of widowhood. Her mood lifted and she began to laugh again, really laugh, not just pained amusement if you know what I mean.<BR/><BR/>Thinking of you as always-in fact I thought of you while we were opening presents. "I wonder how Snick is today."carolinagirl79https://www.blogger.com/profile/06284212448110505029noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-30015471961323649862008-12-15T03:49:00.000-08:002008-12-15T03:49:00.000-08:00Is the second year really harder than the first?No...Is the second year really harder than the first?<BR/><BR/>No, I don't think so, but I understand you just the same.<BR/><BR/>The first year is all about getting through it. You're just looking at one day, one year at a time.<BR/><BR/>But in the second year, suddenly you're looking at all the years ahead. It's not just now -- it's for ever.<BR/><BR/>And it really, really sucks.<BR/><BR/>I loved <Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-71845069765484956922008-12-13T17:47:00.000-08:002008-12-13T17:47:00.000-08:00Dear Snicktollet,Hi there! I just discovered your ...Dear Snicktollet,<BR/>Hi there! I just discovered your wonderful blog (via 'Yummy Mummy'), and<BR/>felt compelled to<BR/>write you a quick note. I've been reading some of your recent previous posts, and have<BR/>been struck by the open-ness and honesty in which you write. I so admire<BR/>this, and although you may lose sight of yourself some days, I want to<BR/>let you know that you come across Eloisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17329184424669459392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-91798581825712206862008-12-12T18:10:00.000-08:002008-12-12T18:10:00.000-08:00Everything you said about the 2nd year vs. the 1st...Everything you said about the 2nd year vs. the 1st: Absolutely **SPOT-ON** for my experience of it too.<BR/><BR/>The first year was the hardest and most excruciating for me, but I was blissfully unaware that "this" was a long-term, arguably permanent situation. I thought I just had to make it to that Magic One-Year Mark and it'd finally all turn out okay again. And yeah, technically it <I>did</I>Candicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11637366044613952294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-56956150612884861822008-12-12T07:13:00.000-08:002008-12-12T07:13:00.000-08:00You so perfectly expressed the confusing timeline ...You so perfectly expressed the confusing timeline of grief. Thank you. <BR/><BR/>-- ALHAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-77822714203045421022008-12-11T21:09:00.000-08:002008-12-11T21:09:00.000-08:00You don't know me, but my mom died in the summer o...You don't know me, but my mom died in the summer of 2007 less than a month after being diagnosed with melanoma. I can tell you with absolute certainty that the second year has been SO much harder than the first for me. My friends forget I'm still grieving, and I often feel guilty when I bring it up. I've heard that the pain doesn't get easier... we just get strong enough to bear it. I hope that Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-76745049676896823472008-12-10T18:24:00.000-08:002008-12-10T18:24:00.000-08:00Thanks for the reminder about grief in the second ...Thanks for the reminder about grief in the second year. I hope it's of some comfort to know that you've helped a lot of people be there for their grieving loved ones. I will put ONCE on my Netflix queue!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-22666966953770508592008-12-10T15:54:00.000-08:002008-12-10T15:54:00.000-08:00once was wonderful. i think i shall watch it again...once was wonderful. i think i shall watch it againmameshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11586918865232386537noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-58530118327909191042008-12-10T14:23:00.000-08:002008-12-10T14:23:00.000-08:00I'm so glad you were able to laugh and have a quie...I'm so glad you were able to laugh and have a quiet and peaceful day and evening on John's birthday. You're right, those important dates and anniversaries don't have to be done in a big way.<BR/>I know this year has been so very difficult for you, please accept any and all help when it is offered to you, you deserve time for yourself and extra hands to help with the twins. I hope 2009 brings you Angelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03298099759296161682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-14808499453169887072008-12-10T11:03:00.000-08:002008-12-10T11:03:00.000-08:00That was my only complaint about Once - just like ...That was my only complaint about Once - just like the last commenter - songs get totally STUCK in your head. I have the soundtrack and almost never listen to it... how sad... for this reason. Love it when I'm listening, hate it when it wakes me in the night on endless loop in my head. boo.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-76471364841864261662008-12-10T09:36:00.000-08:002008-12-10T09:36:00.000-08:00I liked Once too! Now just try to get that song ou...I liked Once too! Now just try to get that song out of your head... can't do it can you? Maybe sing some Dora again. That'll do it.Lyndsayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11191079605746896379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-76691446928818703382008-12-10T09:13:00.000-08:002008-12-10T09:13:00.000-08:00Hi. I am a "lurker" here, but thought I would sto...Hi. I am a "lurker" here, but thought I would stop in and say hello.<BR/><BR/>I didn't lose my husband, but my mom died when I was 25 so I know what grief feels like(it sucks). I just wanted to say how true it is about the second year being more difficult than the first. It wasn't until the second Christmas after losing my Mom that I feel into a dark depression and contemplated suicide. When Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17310806020847827430noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-8090420583952320832008-12-10T04:46:00.000-08:002008-12-10T04:46:00.000-08:00My mother died when I was 7 months pregnant with h...My mother died when I was 7 months pregnant with her first granddaughter. I too kept hearing that whole "the first year is the hardest" line. But I am firmly in the camp that the second year is really the hardest - sometimes it seemed like I was the only one who remembered. Or sometimes I didn't want to remember, and felt guilty about it. And I was just tired with a capital T - physically, Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-74627281224360073452008-12-09T22:12:00.000-08:002008-12-09T22:12:00.000-08:0018 months really isn't that long. I think the fact...18 months really isn't that long. I think the fact that you aren't a whirling dervish anymore is progress, because you probably need to slow down to have time to process all those feelings. Sometimes nothing is the best thing of all.<BR/><BR/>Loved Once. What a gorgeous movie.Rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08520269852156590259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-22959234967630758162008-12-09T21:32:00.000-08:002008-12-09T21:32:00.000-08:00I agree with you that you honored John by doing mu...I agree with you that you honored John by doing much the same things you might of done if John hadn't died. You did everyday things, and thought about John in a special way because it was his birthday. And you honor him everyday by raising your twins.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-71791374861375069382008-12-09T19:37:00.000-08:002008-12-09T19:37:00.000-08:00Snick... I am better these days, but I think mostl...Snick... I am better these days, but I think mostly because I am busier. When I get the time to think, it's pretty bad. Not really better than last year. The start of the second year was certainly pretty brutal on me... I think the way you spent John's birthday was just lovely.Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09745262857388007041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-8392341436394047082008-12-09T19:27:00.000-08:002008-12-09T19:27:00.000-08:00That's why grief is a process, not a destination a...That's why grief is a process, not a destination and not a pit stop along the way.<BR/><BR/>I think it's healthy that you are aware of it, talking about it, and being honest with yourself.<BR/><BR/>I get the sense that you somehow think you are a terrible person for having THIS birthday pass by in a different way than last year. If that's true I want to say ... there is never a right or wrong waymoohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14368972191690127217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-9132529012370928702008-12-09T14:57:00.000-08:002008-12-09T14:57:00.000-08:00I can't say enough about Once and I am always so h...I can't say enough about Once and I am always so happy when people find that movie. I watched it for the first time around this time last year and have watched it often since. <BR/>With everything you're working through, I'm glad you have found something to make you smile.<BR/>You deserve it!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-180743480601927112008-12-09T14:49:00.000-08:002008-12-09T14:49:00.000-08:00The more you love someone, the longer it takes to ...The more you love someone, the longer it takes to get over him. Two years ago, my dad died unexpectedly of a brain hemorrhage. I still have bad days as well as good, though I think I'm finally starting to have more good than bad. It helps to talk to someone on those bad days. Hang in there-- you have a lot on your plate with two toddlers, and life will get easier once they're a little older.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-58097832573962603042008-12-09T13:55:00.000-08:002008-12-09T13:55:00.000-08:00Great post. As usual, you do a great job of articu...Great post. As usual, you do a great job of articulating the emotional process. <BR/><BR/>I loved ONCE. It felt so real. I enjoyed that they didn't wrap it up with a happy bow at the end.OTRgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12433339525588500502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-21163636110148925892008-12-09T13:40:00.000-08:002008-12-09T13:40:00.000-08:00Two parents handling twins is hard. You handling ...Two parents handling twins is hard. You handling them alone is amazing. You have every right to feel overwhelmed, angry, needy and grumpy.<BR/>I follow your blog to be inspired to be a better two-person twin parent. <BR/>You're struggles are my struggles 10-fold.<BR/>Hugs to you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-65564513849365090522008-12-09T12:28:00.000-08:002008-12-09T12:28:00.000-08:00I haven't seen Once.Of course I loved your post. F...I haven't seen Once.<BR/><BR/>Of course I loved your post. For me, I feel like the fog lifted right around the Magical Mystical One Year Mark, and I have spent the last three months waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm scared. I keep thinking... was that it? Not that I think I'm 'done' grieving, because I know I'm not, but it's been... easier somehow. And that scares me- I keep thinking I'm Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-71689651229883652402008-12-09T12:22:00.000-08:002008-12-09T12:22:00.000-08:00Just thinking about you so much. A year is a long...Just thinking about you so much. A year is a long time on the one hand, but so so short on the other. "The first" annual event becomes "another" event without the loved one. The shock of that realization is enough to send one into a tailspin. Thanks, as always, for sharing your journey. So many of your readers have found you due to a some kind of grief, and your words resonate with us.<BR/><Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-63426375499474399072008-12-09T11:25:00.000-08:002008-12-09T11:25:00.000-08:00My mom often says the second year after my dad die...My mom often says the second year after my dad died was the hardest. I hope for you this means that there are more good days in your future.<BR/><BR/>I loved Once.Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07200308626745619340noreply@blogger.com