tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post8466327957894996690..comments2024-03-20T01:12:06.791-07:00Comments on Snickollet: This, That, Things, StuffSnickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-40678195871901975822010-08-14T12:19:17.392-07:002010-08-14T12:19:17.392-07:00Snick...
This is a little off topic but it's...Snick...<br /> This is a little off topic but it's been in my head for a couple of months now, maybe it's time to change the masthead? You and the children will always mourn for John but it's time to break shiva, time for Mothering and Moving on! It seems simple but significant. Put it out there, let someone make a new one for you. Cleanse. It might help you find a new beginning for Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17663117216474190258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-66770666752081767282010-08-02T21:58:44.647-07:002010-08-02T21:58:44.647-07:00My friend just went to his 20th although he hesita...My friend just went to his 20th although he hesitated because he didn't want to talk about how he was struggling with his career and relationship. Said it was nice because people just reminisced and actually regressed a bit. Not regression as in major debauchary, just slipping into teen speak, funny old mannerisms, etc.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-46642856126287087382010-08-02T16:22:45.416-07:002010-08-02T16:22:45.416-07:00OK, here's me. I went to my (ahem) 40th reuni...OK, here's me. I went to my (ahem) 40th reunion last summer and got into detailed conversations with some, and totally surface conversations with others. GO! You'll have fun! And I feel sure you won't be forced into any conversations you'd rather avoid.<br />Hugs.Yankee, Transferredhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06627693160131161133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-82948327618707582512010-07-31T10:38:05.985-07:002010-07-31T10:38:05.985-07:00Just wondering if some already know your story. Yo...Just wondering if some already know your story. You've had some media coverage and people know your real name. You ran into a woman in a ... coffee shop? awhile back who randomly told you she reads your blog ... maybe people "know" your update, so to speak?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-26619429769895192212010-07-30T05:08:22.847-07:002010-07-30T05:08:22.847-07:00Actually when I went to my 20th I didn't talk ...Actually when I went to my 20th I didn't talk much about me at all. But I did ask lots of questions of everyone else. I so enjoyed learning what they were doing these days. The little I did say was all recalling memories of things we did 'back then'. It was wonderful and not at all what I had expected. And I don't look at all like I did back then and everyone commented that Icarosgramhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12947740199617099349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-63787572698630399752010-07-29T22:30:35.648-07:002010-07-29T22:30:35.648-07:00I went to my 25th college reunion when my loss sti...I went to my 25th college reunion when my loss still felt pretty fresh, and found it actually helpful to have so many people to tell my story to. But this weekend is my 30th high-school reunion, and I am imagining talking a little bit about my widowhood but moving quickly on to more interesting topics, like kids and "do you know any single men?" :)Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07711099868038554656noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-56258913283867696492010-07-29T20:36:04.496-07:002010-07-29T20:36:04.496-07:00Also coming out of hiding to recommend the reunion...Also coming out of hiding to recommend the reunion. I just went to mine, really just to see what people looked like. I am still close with a group of friends, so I do know what those people are doing. I could have given a rat's a** about what people were doing with their lives, other than people that I had been close to 20 years ago. It was very loud, I just asked people how they were (sinceAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-52347520975902280412010-07-29T17:51:34.235-07:002010-07-29T17:51:34.235-07:00Twenty years out from being widowed, I understand ...Twenty years out from being widowed, I understand (and remember experiencing) your reluctance to attend. Believe it or not, your reluctance is a part of your grieving process. Go to the reunion! You've gotten lots of great suggestions for walking that conversation line.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-25826108056335018502010-07-29T15:36:22.063-07:002010-07-29T15:36:22.063-07:00I'm sorry to hear you were sick! NO fun.
I he...I'm sorry to hear you were sick! NO fun.<br /><br />I hear you on the reunion/death overlap. For my 10th reunion I had to talk about my dead mother much of the evening. Many of my friends had met my parents and my Mom had the ability to get strangers to spill their guts within minutes of meeting her--so lots of people remembered her and asked specifically how she was doing. It was weird to OTRgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12433339525588500502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-17177035518468512462010-07-29T14:11:54.409-07:002010-07-29T14:11:54.409-07:00Seems a lot of us are delurking to put in a vote f...Seems a lot of us are delurking to put in a vote for the reunion. Could be an interesting opportunity to experience yourself as whole and as so much more than a widow. Surely you will talk about being a mom, but there is no need to talk about your status. Only some people will ask where your husband is, and you can just reply that you're single. Then isn't it likely that no one will ask Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-57650934330347880892010-07-29T13:58:38.217-07:002010-07-29T13:58:38.217-07:00Them: Are you married?
You: No, I'm not. Ho...Them: Are you married?<br />You: No, I'm not. How about you?<br /><br />Turn it back to them asap. People really aren't interested in hearing about you, they really just want to talk about themselves. I feel the same way when I feel like I have to explain my divorce. Am I married? No I am not. Let's move on.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-78126672987586986512010-07-29T13:38:54.229-07:002010-07-29T13:38:54.229-07:00So say when asked, "My husband, John, died of...So say when asked, "My husband, John, died of cancer a few years ago but the kids and I are doing great and loving being in Portland. We have this great bike we ride everywhere, you should see us! How are you? What have you been up to lately?" Gives them the story, but ends it upbeat and changes the subject. :)watercolordaisyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08918878832628412824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-79341110937540150822010-07-29T12:40:09.303-07:002010-07-29T12:40:09.303-07:00I agree with Tiffany, get a babysitter so you can ...I agree with Tiffany, get a babysitter so you can do your long runs on the weekend. If you don't already have a cadre of babysitters, try sittercity.com.Kristinanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-38986144709764932152010-07-29T08:20:27.562-07:002010-07-29T08:20:27.562-07:00Good luck with your half marathon. Can someone wa...Good luck with your half marathon. Can someone watch the kids for a couple of hours on the weekend while you get a run in? I also use my lunch hour to run.Tiffanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07909496319072321333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-51911726587764826772010-07-29T07:57:05.495-07:002010-07-29T07:57:05.495-07:00I think everyone will have something they don'...I think everyone will have something they don't want to talk about... you'd be surprised how many people will be either divorced, married second time or still single (which, by some counts, is worse than having been married once)... I wouldn't worry about it, nobody will be asking because nobody will want to discuss their own status :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-6802206535105602262010-07-29T07:14:08.227-07:002010-07-29T07:14:08.227-07:00I just had my twenty year and virtually nobody ask...I just had my twenty year and virtually nobody asked me if I had a partner, much less where s/he was.<br /><br />I was actually a little surprised at how glossed-over all the conversations at the reunion seemed to be. I had been hoping for a deeper connection with people. But I think that was too much to expect from people I hadn't seen in decades.<br /><br />I'd suggest you practice a CVnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-16510685020417433522010-07-29T06:52:41.326-07:002010-07-29T06:52:41.326-07:00I rarely comment but feel compelled to say somethi...I rarely comment but feel compelled to say something. I'm not really a "pro-reunion" kind of person. Whether someone goes or not - I don't really care. But, certainly don't not go because of the very real possibility that you will be going over and over the death of John and the coping with M&R. Instead, tell your story, as abbreviated as you wish it to be for Andreanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-65275360926541097942010-07-29T05:58:42.585-07:002010-07-29T05:58:42.585-07:00So sorry you were sick. I know that Peace Corps s...So sorry you were sick. I know that Peace Corps sick and I can totally empathize. Glad you are back on your feet and that your mom could help with the kiddos.<br /><br />If anyone asks at your reunion about your status, do you think you could just say you are a single mom and change the subject? It might be enough to keep people from probing further.<br /><br />You're doing great with all Mama Mama Quite Contraryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09033437220422551511noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-48074457373254827602010-07-29T01:13:25.911-07:002010-07-29T01:13:25.911-07:00At my twenty year, I don't think anyone asked ...At my twenty year, I don't think anyone asked me once where my husband was (he had to work). I think they just assume you are divorced and don't ask so as not to hurt feelings.Arwenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13913493536142196893noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-30769317064661397612010-07-28T23:55:45.987-07:002010-07-28T23:55:45.987-07:00the blah blah blah is what wears me down to a nub,...the blah blah blah is what wears me down to a nub, honestly. we all have a blah blah blah too, the one thing people want to talk about. i often omit large chunks of my life, just so i don't have to get into things. and i know for a fact i held onto a toxic friendship longer than i should have simply because she knew my story. <br /><br />and i love running for all the reasons you said. :-)Type (little) a aka Michelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18344395100374466233noreply@blogger.com