tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post8306927313094467896..comments2024-03-20T01:12:06.791-07:00Comments on Snickollet: StruggleSnickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-5296386864936486872010-04-05T08:20:02.143-07:002010-04-05T08:20:02.143-07:00Just a little note to say that I think about you a...Just a little note to say that I think about you all the time and love how you are always able to articulate your thoughts and share them with us. You're such a good writer, and I love how honest you are with yourself and us. Thank you for sharing, and I'm wishing the best for you always.Miss Mahahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09456467857996251394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-25174684650670917202010-03-31T06:41:16.800-07:002010-03-31T06:41:16.800-07:00Time does work wonders, to that I can attest. But...Time does work wonders, to that I can attest. But as you write in your posts, you have changed in ways that are probably not totally reversible. So in spite of time easing the grief of the big loss of the person you loved, there is the grief of losing who you were. I have found my desire to have that person back (the person I once was) to be the strongest one now, and I hope with (even more) Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-81297977416771853732010-03-31T05:44:00.688-07:002010-03-31T05:44:00.688-07:00I know I feel the same way a lot. I have a pretty ...I know I feel the same way a lot. I have a pretty wonderful life but at times I just wonder, is this all there is? Yes, I should just slap myself and feel grateful, and I am grateful, but I keep feeling what else can I do to make a difference. Arrgh! <br />I truly hope you find the answers and peace you are looking for. Please remember you are not alone. Wish there was something I could do other Angelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03298099759296161682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-58452888491045703312010-03-30T20:41:00.989-07:002010-03-30T20:41:00.989-07:00Our twins are a bit younger...but there are a few ...Our twins are a bit younger...but there are a few of us SMCs with twins in PDX...our path to this family structure are different (although not necessarily what we would have ordered up either) and I cannot fully relate to the grief you experience but if it would be helpful to hang out with women juggling similar balls we'd be happy to hang out sometime.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05290050223966462342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-15271864326584811992010-03-30T19:00:39.186-07:002010-03-30T19:00:39.186-07:00After reading this post and the last one - I'd...After reading this post and the last one - I'd say, you've had a pretty restless time, recently - no wonder you have trouble settling and sleeping. Baby yourself (warm milk, bubble-bath) whatever it takes, and consider it the well-earned affection of those who know you well and other well-wishing folks like these readers.Mary Ellenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06476814211173076515noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-10729219346244354182010-03-30T14:21:59.935-07:002010-03-30T14:21:59.935-07:00What Watercolor said is so much like what I was go...What Watercolor said is so much like what I was going to say. I'm quickly approaching 36 and single with no kids. It's not the life I wanted. Everwhere around me people have the thing I want most; a partner and a family. I'm struggling to come to terms with a life that isn't what I want it to be. And yet it is a good life. Just not... quite enough.Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03196030221850257832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-51346388548531445712010-03-29T23:05:57.233-07:002010-03-29T23:05:57.233-07:00I never make it to bed before midnight. After like...I never make it to bed before midnight. After like 8 or 9pm I get a total second wind and get so much. Easily could stay up until 3am. <br /><br />Some parts of my life are so much better than I ever dreamed, but this is not at ALL how I thought college would be. <br /><br />Death changes shit.Samhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11342453970164354596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-57759436917393837692010-03-29T21:54:58.830-07:002010-03-29T21:54:58.830-07:00"My life is not what I imagined it would be....."My life is not what I imagined it would be... It is less than I want, less than I feel I deserve." Ah Snick, I'm fighting with the same disappointment and discontent (just wrote a post on it!). I'm hoping it's temporary, though; that my "real life" is out there waiting for me to be ready to accept it. Change will come again for us both, and the disconnect Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07711099868038554656noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-64760639731097111492010-03-29T19:11:22.508-07:002010-03-29T19:11:22.508-07:00The comment I deleted said pretty much the same th...The comment I deleted said pretty much the same thing as OTRgirl posted. She said it better! But that's what I was kind of thinking too...Sharon Bartletthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10003321957027877259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-84537416143770882992010-03-29T18:14:47.301-07:002010-03-29T18:14:47.301-07:00Reading both of these posts back to back, I feel l...Reading both of these posts back to back, I feel like I'm reading into this more recent one. Even though it was only two dates, you've been hit with a fresh loss in the sense of a loss of a dream. Nothing 'serious' yet, but still. For me that would add to the weight of 'if only' that you already carry.OTRgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12433339525588500502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-78714164014825801042010-03-29T18:06:59.516-07:002010-03-29T18:06:59.516-07:00It is hard to be a single parent, it is hard to mo...It is hard to be a single parent, it is hard to move, it is hard to start a new job and it is an incredibly hard time of year for your family. Grief comes and goes in such non-linear ways. Be good to yourself.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-55378462011184321882010-03-29T17:55:02.845-07:002010-03-29T17:55:02.845-07:00Oh, Snick. How this resonates with me. We are vibr...Oh, Snick. How this resonates with me. We are vibrating on the same wavelength this week. <br /><br />Thinking of you.Dr. Smakhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11578423336319528698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-27896277401537404232010-03-29T16:49:12.722-07:002010-03-29T16:49:12.722-07:00I, too, do the insomnia/late-night sabotage when I...I, too, do the insomnia/late-night sabotage when I get low too. I seek the time to just veg out after Anna's asleep...and then when I'm crankier than usual the next day/week, I can blame it on the bad night's sleep instead of what's <i>really</i> wrong. Oh, yes. It's an excellent strategy. [Snort.] I know I do it, and why I do it, but I still do it anyway. Oops.<br /><br />TwoCandicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11637366044613952294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-40521104759571778922010-03-29T15:50:18.012-07:002010-03-29T15:50:18.012-07:00Understand. I'm 42. Still single. No kids. ...Understand. I'm 42. Still single. No kids. Always always thought I'd be a wife and mom. Now, mom looks extremely unlikely and it drives a stake through my heart. Do I have the life I thought I'd have? Nope. Sucks. Struggling to figure out what my life IS then. Not easy. Trying to pay attention to what makes me joyful. And see if I can build a life towards that. Cause I donwatercolordaisyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08918878832628412824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-20520769633314800722010-03-29T12:58:39.177-07:002010-03-29T12:58:39.177-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Sharon Bartletthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10003321957027877259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-82466412074072480422010-03-29T11:00:20.846-07:002010-03-29T11:00:20.846-07:00I wish I had words of comfort. But your words abou...I wish I had words of comfort. But your words about the life not being the one you imagined definitely resonates with me. I have not lost a spouse and I cannot even begin to imagine that heartache, but I have lost the chance at a family with my spouse. And it is not the life I would have picked out from a life menu either, despite having lots and lots of wonderful things too.<br /><br />I'm lastchanceivfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14139576318784337837noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-73981648049009082502010-03-29T08:47:33.422-07:002010-03-29T08:47:33.422-07:00Yes, absolutely that.
My parents bought me a book...Yes, absolutely that.<br /><br />My parents bought me a book called something like 'This is not the life I ordered' that helped, sometimes.<br /><br />Sometimes I just want the ease and innocence of my old life back. Sometimes I don't want this new, 'stronger', 'resilient' me, with her Highly Capable self-ness. I definitely feel that yearning more poignantly when I am django's mommynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-60162362683791980692010-03-29T08:42:13.232-07:002010-03-29T08:42:13.232-07:00I completely understand where you're coming fr...I completely understand where you're coming from. It's difficult to not yearn for what we've lost, despite the fact that we have healthy children, a roof over our heads, a job, and a life that, if seen by someone who didn't know our husbands died, would be deemed to be good. Yet missing him, and the life we'd planned, overshadows the good somedays, many days. I hope that Debbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13743446066024389563noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-20007960657454548282010-03-29T08:05:41.522-07:002010-03-29T08:05:41.522-07:00I understand what you are saying and have felt tha...I understand what you are saying and have felt that way, too. Though our circumstances are different, I can really relate to what you are saying.<br /><br />I hope you feel better soon. It's no fun to be in that place, especially for long. I visit "what if" or "what might have been" land sometimes, and I can't linger long. Hoping for sunnier, better days for you.Aimeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15371122721416715477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-20854900139804751062010-03-29T07:19:10.635-07:002010-03-29T07:19:10.635-07:00Sleeplessness brings out similar feelings for me, ...Sleeplessness brings out similar feelings for me, although my husband is alive and well. Daylight Saving Time changes bring on sleeplessness. How I hate DST!<br /><br />For me, I think much of the, "What am I doing with my life? Do I want something different?" stems from the increasing independence of my almost-4-year-old daughters. I no longer feel the pull to identify as their mother Sadiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04042551936789254047noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-36186232070859096952010-03-29T02:52:03.528-07:002010-03-29T02:52:03.528-07:00I don't know what else to say, except that, I ...I don't know what else to say, except that, I am sorry. <br /><br />Hope you are doing okay.<br /><br />XXXBiancaWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16463207189508695244noreply@blogger.com