tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post743144120948336380..comments2024-03-20T01:12:06.791-07:00Comments on Snickollet: Princess StaceySnickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.comBlogger65125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-70906053753181357672009-08-13T08:03:13.162-07:002009-08-13T08:03:13.162-07:00Judging anonymously - how brave of you!Judging anonymously - how brave of you!Nicole S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/04073857953370420287noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-52420657475154711052009-08-13T07:14:03.331-07:002009-08-13T07:14:03.331-07:00What were you complaining about all those months, ...What were you complaining about all those months, then? You had a HOUSEKEEPER? I would guess you'd realize everyone had similar opinions, especially for who you were taking advantage of - ever think maybe you should offer to discontinue it? And yet you still griped you didn't have time? You'd leave the kids at daycare, you had a housekeeper to clean at home - what is your Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-71294140533166420092009-07-29T21:55:35.496-07:002009-07-29T21:55:35.496-07:00I'll put another vote in for the man of the ho...I'll put another vote in for the man of the house being our scheduler/planner. (Proving, like a couple of other commenters, that straight men are capable of this.)<br /><br />I recommend the Who Does What checklist in Gottman's Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. It has hundreds of items and is pretty eye-opening for a couple to see all of the little and big tasks and who OTR sisternoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-17469052935458308272009-07-28T21:32:23.725-07:002009-07-28T21:32:23.725-07:00OMG, I schedule pretty much everything for my husb...OMG, I schedule pretty much everything for my husband and i, and if he does it's usually because I'm sick of doing it and I tell him he needs to do it. I do 80-90% of the chores, all the bills (which is a constant argument in the relationship... I wish it were a bit half and half), write all the thank you cards, do all the food shopping/errands, and buy all the cards and gifts. Colleenhttp://www.craftlovely.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-63522030240149671692009-07-28T16:14:59.196-07:002009-07-28T16:14:59.196-07:00I'm the woman, and I'm the scheduler, but ...I'm the woman, and I'm the scheduler, but that's mostly because I'm the one who cares about schedules. If I left it up to him, I'd get whiplash from being yanked all over with no idea when to do what or go where... You know those Myers-Briggs personality terms? I'm an INTJ, and he's sweet, but an I-don't-care-at-all.Victoriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00288623705367339236noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-78043801875432903952009-07-26T14:48:47.100-07:002009-07-26T14:48:47.100-07:00Ha - my marriage started with "Tell me the ti...Ha - my marriage started with "Tell me the time and date to be at the church and what to wear and I will be there." 11 years later, we have briefings on Sunday night to go over the activities for each family member for the week. If I don't tell him about it, he never finds out. He is really good about being responsible for just about everything else, but I am the Life Scheduler. If Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-87571577779639260342009-07-25T07:39:59.462-07:002009-07-25T07:39:59.462-07:00I'm the life planner. I enjoy the role - and ...I'm the life planner. I enjoy the role - and he enjoys me enjoying the role. It's almost impossible to have two planners - schedules get overlapped and then trouble begins. I have my calendar and everything goes on it - we all live by the calendar.<br /><br />As for cleaning - I found it's all in the frame of mind. I look at the piles of laundry and most of the time smile because deb8ablehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08849323273321222535noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-15359153069579229012009-07-24T17:28:27.999-07:002009-07-24T17:28:27.999-07:00I'm the Brain Trust in this family although I ...I'm the Brain Trust in this family although I wonder how much of that would be different if there wasn't Sarge's brain injury to cope with. I resent it more when things get forgotten so I don't really mind being the schedule keeper, the grocery shopper and the cleaner. It's okay with me. Sarge does the budget and that more than compensates in my mind.<br /><br />xo<br />FlickaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-51550851477564247762009-07-24T17:28:03.150-07:002009-07-24T17:28:03.150-07:00I'm the Brain Trust in this family although I ...I'm the Brain Trust in this family although I wonder how much of that would be different if there wasn't Sarge's brain injury to cope with. I resent it more when things get forgotten so I don't really mind being the schedule keeper, the grocery shopper and the cleaner. It's okay with me. Sarge does the budget and that more than compensates in my mind.<br /><br />xo<br />FlickaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-91307006673059230012009-07-23T18:40:02.959-07:002009-07-23T18:40:02.959-07:00Hear, F@&%ing hear! All hail Princess Stacey!
...Hear, F@&%ing hear! All hail Princess Stacey!<br /><br />:xThe Famhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10848638497734970674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-74496101512195940202009-07-23T11:37:40.862-07:002009-07-23T11:37:40.862-07:00Yes, I am in charge of all the Life Scheduling/cle...Yes, I am in charge of all the Life Scheduling/clean-up stuff. That is why our house is perpetually trashed. The husband is much better at it, but... well. Somehow I fell into this role. And I resent it also, and share this, and have no solution - except that the bulk of my marriage is very good, and as much as I hate the cleaning/figuring bit it's just not worth ruining my marriage over.Meikanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-49038546852025036092009-07-22T20:12:27.183-07:002009-07-22T20:12:27.183-07:00let us know when you find a good solution:)
I am ...let us know when you find a good solution:)<br /><br />I am the family brain, even with no kids I still find the task daunting.Hollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09543582050261283658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-65505112915107030492009-07-22T19:37:25.649-07:002009-07-22T19:37:25.649-07:00My husband took over Life Scheduler responsibiliti...My husband took over Life Scheduler responsibilities when our roles shifted and I got a real job and he took up freelancing from home. He made a few mistakes and I learned to let go of it. Really, I was amazed by how quickly I relinquished the responsibility and how freeing it was. And he didn't sweat that stuff like I did, so it was better for everyone.Kristihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14707043735963023038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-19063519970916445262009-07-22T18:54:13.771-07:002009-07-22T18:54:13.771-07:00We have not figured out division of labor yet, but...We have not figured out division of labor yet, but we will have to, as I just "laid off" our cleaning lady due to being unemployed.<br /><br />I recommend you check out the FLYlady who, though gimmicky, has the right idea to motivate one into keeping house as part of respecting yourself. Not that it's worked on me yet... but she says "take baby steps" and I guess I am.<br Supa Dupa Freshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07659738264922395349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-53036998398987774652009-07-22T13:43:56.468-07:002009-07-22T13:43:56.468-07:00I'd say my husband and I are actually 50/50 on...I'd say my husband and I are actually 50/50 on this. While I do most of the indoor cleaning, he is generally always willing to do what I ask. He's always on top of the outside work though.<br /><br />When it comes to the scheduling, we are also pretty even. Because my husband keeps track of his own schedule as a physician, he works his patients around stuff he needs to handle at home Mama Mama Quite Contraryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09033437220422551511noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-83937156858674715142009-07-22T11:44:51.959-07:002009-07-22T11:44:51.959-07:00I have no advice, other than a big, fat YES vote o...I have no advice, other than a big, fat YES vote on getting yourself a housecleaner ASAP. I am honestly starting to believe that a housecleaner could save our marriage. I spend 3/4 of every weekend cleaning, bossing people into cleaning, or fretting about getting the cleaning done. We have so little downtime together as a family, I'm actually grieving the loss of what I'd always thought Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-5699527626315910442009-07-22T11:27:53.114-07:002009-07-22T11:27:53.114-07:00yep,even at 61 (hubby 64), on the weekend days, he...yep,even at 61 (hubby 64), on the weekend days, he STILL asks me "what are we doing today?" He does do the cooking when he's home, but he always asks ME "what are we having for dinner?" I can't get him to get a physical, though I did manage to schedule him in for a dental visit (when his tooth started to hurt). In my experience, and looking at my daughter's Sharon Bartletthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10003321957027877259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-88065236143074970582009-07-22T11:12:01.865-07:002009-07-22T11:12:01.865-07:00This is definitely true of my relationship and som...This is definitely true of my relationship and sometimes I get tired of it, although to be honest, I'm way too much of a control freak to give it up even if my husband wanted to take it over. One thing that's gotten ridiculous: my husband doesn't even open his own MAIL anymore. I'm apparently supposed to open it and interpret for him whether it contains anything important. Mandyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15083175282308723220noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-75535584068534053832009-07-22T10:35:37.144-07:002009-07-22T10:35:37.144-07:00Yes, I schedule things and keep our lives organize...Yes, I schedule things and keep our lives organized. I don't mind the mental work of scheduling and tracking maintenance. Rather my problem is that I haven't discovered an acceptable way to communicate to my husband which jobs I would like help with. He seems to interpret the kindest requests as nagging. Most often I choose to do the work myself than have that conflict. Some jobs Sandyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11632257997073091925noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-12381390612159448082009-07-22T08:04:14.831-07:002009-07-22T08:04:14.831-07:00I was sent an e-mail about 10 years abo from my Da...I was sent an e-mail about 10 years abo from my Dad, kept this because it is so truc...<br /><br /><br /><br />Why I love my Mom...<br /><br />Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed." She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches, rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-28338766445053750202009-07-22T07:45:41.229-07:002009-07-22T07:45:41.229-07:00I often tell my husband that I sometimes feel like...I often tell my husband that I sometimes feel like the stock exchange - I have a constant "ticker" of information running at all times across my brain. I'm definitely the scheduler in our relationship, which has admittedly annoyed me at times. We both work full-time, have a 2 1/2 year old son, and I'm about to start grad school next month, so things may get even more Shmonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-50555063781714554172009-07-22T07:08:10.368-07:002009-07-22T07:08:10.368-07:00I am totally the planner, scheduler and executione...I am totally the planner, scheduler and executioner of 'life' (changing sheets, dentist appts, etc etc etc). Most of the time I don't mind this role. However there are times that I think my husband truely doesn't understand or appreciate how much time and energy this role takes. <br /><br />This was a good blog question... I'm enjoying seeing others responses.<br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-44908226352691685112009-07-22T06:18:52.010-07:002009-07-22T06:18:52.010-07:00Hmmm....you gotta go with what works and consideri...Hmmm....you gotta go with what works and considering the divorce rate....it ain't working =))) I've been married almost 20 years and we had to "make" it work. It was hard to figure it all out....determining who was doing what. I have found, I'm a controller so I do best to manage the "schedule" per say. But my hubby is awesome to fulfill it meaning getting Kid Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04572128334553536606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-35910466053405217212009-07-21T19:42:32.100-07:002009-07-21T19:42:32.100-07:00Another wifely scheduler here. I do pretty much e...Another wifely scheduler here. I do pretty much everything there is to do, with respect to cleaning, tracking stuff, cards/gifts (though I've started to back off on that for his family), all finances, taxes, all appointments, all kid-related stuff, yada yada yada. BUT, he does basically all the cooking, including the menu planning, and most of the grocery shopping. He also does lawn mowingBrainy girlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-6080474896612266922009-07-21T19:02:22.746-07:002009-07-21T19:02:22.746-07:00The administrative kaka to which you refer -- almo...The administrative kaka to which you refer -- almost exclusively me. I'm also responsible for most things kid-related, like the state of her wardrobe. I am also, apparently, the only person in the marriage who is capable of noticing when the cars' oil needs changing.<br /><br />However, HOWEVER: he does all the cooking and all the grocery shopping. That, to me, is huge. We too have a Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com