tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post5380264687862776583..comments2024-03-20T01:12:06.791-07:00Comments on Snickollet: Back in the SaddleSnickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-53850170059626998382008-07-29T05:58:00.000-07:002008-07-29T05:58:00.000-07:00Dirge Without Music- Edna St. Vincent MillayI am n...Dirge Without Music- Edna St. Vincent Millay<BR/><BR/>I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.<BR/>So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:<BR/>Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned<BR/>With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned. <BR/>Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.<BR/>Be one with theAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-50626087332418131172008-07-09T13:08:00.000-07:002008-07-09T13:08:00.000-07:00It sounds so strange to say I'm happy for you...no...It sounds so strange to say I'm happy for you...not happy that you're angry, but it just sounds like quite an epiphany and it sounds like good things will come of it.<BR/><BR/>Lots of love, and I'm here for you for whatever, whenever.Keenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01408342210540348611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-60891680551204208302008-07-09T08:33:00.000-07:002008-07-09T08:33:00.000-07:00After reading this post, I've been going through m...After reading this post, I've been going through my day thinking about all of my misplaced anger...<BR/><BR/>Boy, life is tough! But thanks for the very thoughtful and helpful post.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-28841169562116373422008-07-09T07:15:00.000-07:002008-07-09T07:15:00.000-07:00Sounds like you've turned an important corner. And...Sounds like you've turned an important corner. And while I can't even begin to imagine what you've been through, I'm glad to hear that you're back in the saddle again. Having two adorable kids must be a great help!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-70244754935372978692008-07-09T05:20:00.000-07:002008-07-09T05:20:00.000-07:00Great post. I haven't had a chance to comment in a...Great post. I haven't had a chance to comment in awhile, but I am often sending good thoughts your way. Keep on Snick.Sylviehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03977168100697698429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-49283036548920875832008-07-08T21:24:00.000-07:002008-07-08T21:24:00.000-07:00ack. i am always really amazed at your honesty and...ack. i am always really amazed at your honesty and ability to share this time with us, your readers. and i think though the anger is there, your ability to identify it and its source may give you the ability to move through it. and i am happy to hear the riley and maddie are making you so happy, batteries for his peepee...haha. so good.mameshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11586918865232386537noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-26840628912805159922008-07-08T19:53:00.000-07:002008-07-08T19:53:00.000-07:00Hi Snick. I came across your blog after the CNN ar...Hi Snick. I came across your blog after the CNN article. I, too, lost my husband. He was 33, and I recently turned 27. <BR/><BR/>In the last four months and still now, I never feel like I am properly grieving. I know it is a process and am probably still in the numb(denial) stage. I just feel chided when his mother asks if I've cried yet. I have cried, but they don't match her histrionics (which Sharihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11571625314435609842noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-62385561791569074692008-07-08T12:38:00.000-07:002008-07-08T12:38:00.000-07:00Thank you for opening your emotions and honesty. ...Thank you for opening your emotions and honesty. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose my husband. I did lose a brother, and it is something that continues to rise to the surface in different ways even years later. EKB's book was huge for me. It really helps to be able to recognize the stages for what they are - part of the whole package.<BR/><BR/>Wishing you continued strength.Threeundertwohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07841404786048246834noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-65639041024026359012008-07-08T12:12:00.000-07:002008-07-08T12:12:00.000-07:00I'm all over the place these days, but anger? Chec...I'm all over the place these days, but anger? Check.<BR/><BR/>I have recently found Candice's blog, too, and I love it. I find so many of her insights to ring true, as I feel when I read your blog.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-73786637067619181952008-07-08T06:40:00.000-07:002008-07-08T06:40:00.000-07:00Your post is so honest and poignant. Thank you fo...Your post is so honest and poignant. Thank you for baring these feelings.<BR/><BR/>There is much to say, but little that comes out as I want it to. So know that I am thinking of you and resonating with these feelings, too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-2391179708052024572008-07-08T06:28:00.000-07:002008-07-08T06:28:00.000-07:00Welcome back! I've missed your posts (even though...Welcome back! I've missed your posts (even though I'm pathetically irregular about posting, I expect others to be... Sorry.). I continue to learn so much from you--what an insight that moving through the stages is not linear. Regardless, it all sounds like a bitch to get through. I'm so sorry. I wish for you lots of support as you move through each stage, both cyberly and actually, and I Karynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00064133572478217155noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-62041999798769008502008-07-08T06:18:00.000-07:002008-07-08T06:18:00.000-07:00My ex, who I still cared a great deal for, was kil...My ex, who I still cared a great deal for, was killed in a car accident about 1 1/2 years ago. Before that I did not know grief could be so complicated - now I think any list of the "stages" should come with a disclaimer that it just means you will feel all these things, at any time, in varying degrees, in any order, for much longer than you think you will. And the only advice I would give to Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-27885812343322760582008-07-07T21:25:00.000-07:002008-07-07T21:25:00.000-07:00Give yourself extra credit for all the times you a...Give yourself extra credit for all the times you are patient and aware of the funny and cute things they say and do.<BR/><BR/>As a child, I didn't understand my Mother's sadness and anger all the time. I was too young to remember the death of my father. As I got older, our history was a bond we shared along with the battle scars of those early years getting through it. Together.<BR/><BR/>RememberAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-20271652811455466742008-07-07T21:01:00.000-07:002008-07-07T21:01:00.000-07:00Batteries for his penis! That child is adorable! W...Batteries for his penis! That child is adorable! Widowed myself, 14 years ago, I can relate to your description of the stages of grief and how they overlap and reappear all the time. Just want to reassure you that you will get through it! Please seek help from a support group and/or counseling if it feels too overwhelming. Nothing says you have to find your way through this alone or with people Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-87593003820856633642008-07-07T19:51:00.000-07:002008-07-07T19:51:00.000-07:00Welcome back! I've missed you and am glad you have...Welcome back! I've missed you and am glad you have discovered something new about yourself. Would it be weird if I said, "Congratulations"?<BR/><BR/>I've been trying to deal with my own anger issues lately, too.Aimeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15371122721416715477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-33674880571586799232008-07-07T18:57:00.000-07:002008-07-07T18:57:00.000-07:00I'm glad you understand that you can experience al...I'm glad you understand that you can experience all -- or none -- of her stages. That's one of the beautiful aspects of it ... it's ok to feel however you feel.<BR/><BR/>We're here ... and we hear.moohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14368972191690127217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-9386903904445758702008-07-07T18:53:00.000-07:002008-07-07T18:53:00.000-07:00Again, I feel like we are living parallel lives.Again, I feel like we are living parallel lives.Sandihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04643493643365324737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-47721024859341060142008-07-07T17:41:00.000-07:002008-07-07T17:41:00.000-07:00Well said! You're so right.The analogy I developed...Well said! You're so right.<BR/><BR/>The analogy I developed about deep grief is that it's like being swept out to sea over and over. You don't know what ocean you're in until you finally realize, as you did, 'oh, anger! I'm filled with and surrounded by anger!!' It seems like sometimes that realization is enough to get you back on shore, at least for a moment. Then you're swept out into another OTRgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12433339525588500502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-89352517758454362712008-07-07T17:17:00.000-07:002008-07-07T17:17:00.000-07:00Wow, it sounds like you've taken a huge step. It'...Wow, it sounds like you've taken a huge step. It's such a cathartic feeling to realize why we're feeling what we're feeling. That was a lovely post.jennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01074805816407286017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-12047668198272138242008-07-07T17:05:00.000-07:002008-07-07T17:05:00.000-07:00I just started reading your blog about a month or ...I just started reading your blog about a month or so ago, and I'm not sure what to say because there's no way I can even remotely comprehend what you're going through. But I wanted to let you know that this was beautifully written, and it helped me to understand a little. I'm so glad that you had that moment of "ah ha!" - I'm sure that's helped tremendously.Nancyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01131976831557567016noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-2870161843093169552008-07-07T16:41:00.000-07:002008-07-07T16:41:00.000-07:00Thanks for another great post. I have struggled w...Thanks for another great post. I have struggled with depression and anxiety for years and I'm thinking I'm heading back into a cycle right now. I find it follows a similar cycle to the stages of grief - certainly the denial ("Who me? I'm fine, fine, fine"), anger ("why am I like this?" to general irritability with everything), and then the next few stages throughout. <BR/><BR/>I read Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-36960491545556230222008-07-07T15:35:00.000-07:002008-07-07T15:35:00.000-07:00I too remember hearing about Kubler-Ross's five st...I too remember hearing about Kubler-Ross's five stages a long time ago and thinking of them (if I thought about grief at all) as just that: a linear progression that moves from one through five. My experience with the stages has been much more of a zigzag -- as you say, you move "forward" and then find yourself, sometimes because of a trigger but sometimes for no apparent reason at all -- "backBadgerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04440464453242216489noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-47054580733655744992008-07-07T15:27:00.000-07:002008-07-07T15:27:00.000-07:00Thank you so much for such a wonderful and insight...Thank you so much for such a wonderful and insightful post! Your loss of John and my loss of my daughter (after 5.5 months of pregnancy) are so very different, but I find a lot of comfort and solace in your thoughts, and I find myself nodding in agreement quite often. I agree with Luna in the feeling that I am spiraling through the cycles rather than sliding from one to the other, and with Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-23532460771369415172008-07-07T15:20:00.000-07:002008-07-07T15:20:00.000-07:00I admire the insight you have even when you're all...I admire the insight you have even when you're all twisted in the damn stages of grief.<BR/><BR/>It often takes me so long to realize what I'm TRULY feeling and WHY...and I end up in a cycle of beating myself up for not having realized it earlier. Blah.<BR/><BR/>I'm proud of you. Period. And batteries for Ri-Man's penis? I have a feeling, if it was socially acceptable, that Buddha would willinglyMouthy Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13390913450937641605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-85140835024321773282008-07-07T14:33:00.000-07:002008-07-07T14:33:00.000-07:00Such an artfully insightful post, Snick. This was ...Such an artfully insightful post, Snick. This was necessary for me to read for reasons innumerable and impossible to explain.<BR/><BR/>Suffice it to say, THANK YOU.<BR/><BR/>Wishing you continued clarity, and ever-increasing moments of abject joy.Cheryl Lagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03368796775852338505noreply@blogger.com