tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post4099239637241211294..comments2024-03-20T01:12:06.791-07:00Comments on Snickollet: ChoicesSnickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-6680246167396954982009-02-06T06:07:00.000-08:002009-02-06T06:07:00.000-08:00Yes, time goes by quickly and gather ye rosebuds w...Yes, time goes by quickly and gather ye rosebuds whilst ye may.<BR/><BR/>'Hell know no fury like a woman scorned.'<BR/><BR/>Apologies that's not PC, but it might just be correct for this snippy MP, anyway. I wouldn't like to work for her, and neither would you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-7670742541885405462009-02-05T13:07:00.000-08:002009-02-05T13:07:00.000-08:00Good for you! I work a crummy B O R I N G job ins...Good for you! I work a crummy B O R I N G job instead of a "career" with higher pay etc because it allows me the flexibility and family time I both want and need for my two little joys - It doesn't pay a much, especially after paying for daycare 4 days a week but the flexibility and extra time I get to spend with my kids is priceless.darciehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03611334115957929814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-37753034253089485372009-02-05T13:05:00.000-08:002009-02-05T13:05:00.000-08:00I have a disability (I don't explain this at inter...I have a disability (I don't explain this at interviews, but in a convuleted way as for the one change I need (somewhat flexible time, a given in my career anyway). I have learned that people will LIE to you about what they will offer to accomodate needs, if they think they can hire you and you are responsible enough to try to fill your duties regardless of what they are. More than once my Just Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01085642883987294862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-61436168881285522892009-02-03T13:07:00.000-08:002009-02-03T13:07:00.000-08:00Snick, this was a wonderful post.I've been thinkin...Snick, this was a wonderful post.<BR/><BR/>I've been thinking about some of my work/life balance issues, and I really found your reasoning helpful—than you!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07594954479674397937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-39377770230424346232009-02-02T10:56:00.000-08:002009-02-02T10:56:00.000-08:00I had to turn down a job - actually, I rescinded m...I had to turn down a job - actually, I rescinded my acceptance of it - well before my start date - and the conversation with my never-to-be boss still sticks in my head after more than a year, and she didn't even really get snippy! It's so hard to disappoint people, especially when your choices aren't black and white, but going through with it anyway points to the fact that it was the right Shannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08238116001734298633noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-9554983919989942192009-02-02T05:34:00.000-08:002009-02-02T05:34:00.000-08:00Ah, hugs to you. You don't need to hear it from me...Ah, hugs to you. You don't need to hear it from me, but I think you made a strong choice. <BR/><BR/>I hope an ideal job comes along soon!<BR/><BR/>ShelleyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-47877882021209906752009-02-01T18:55:00.000-08:002009-02-01T18:55:00.000-08:00As always you made the best decision for you and M...As always you made the best decision for you and Maddie and Riley, I know it wasn't easy for you to make so I am glad you are happy with your decision. That's unfortunate that the CEO's response was less than understanding...but hey, she'll get over it and I hope any guilt that you feel is very short lived. Having work/life balance is so priceless and amazing and I am so very happy that is what Angelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03298099759296161682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-61278316050363403712009-02-01T13:44:00.000-08:002009-02-01T13:44:00.000-08:00These are such hard choices to make. For what its...These are such hard choices to make. For what its worth, I think you made the right choice (but certainly would not have faulted you had you opted to take it...life is very gray, indeed.) I'm a year into having left my chosen profession b/c I couldn't make it fit with my life/work balance (along with a few other reasons) and struggling with instead stepping into just a "job" in order to be Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-28225406368020818052009-02-01T13:31:00.000-08:002009-02-01T13:31:00.000-08:00What a great post. It's such a hard balance to ach...What a great post. It's such a hard balance to achieve. For me, it feels like I have to have a "whatever" attitude toward the job or else it starts to dominate my life. Yet, I don't respect myself or like they way I act when I have that attitude. And, I'm only having to balance getting home to walk a dog! <BR/><BR/>I'm proud of you for doing what was necessary. And, if she was snippy now, I bet OTRgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12433339525588500502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-73584163001806220472009-02-01T09:35:00.000-08:002009-02-01T09:35:00.000-08:00But you know, after seeing her response to you not...But you know, after seeing her response to you not taking the job, it's probably a good thing that she wasn't your boss after all.-GRChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08572804405784557926noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-41140494932860784242009-02-01T07:50:00.000-08:002009-02-01T07:50:00.000-08:00Maybe Madame has a couple kids sitting at home wit...Maybe Madame has a couple kids sitting at home with one or two well paid nannies and saw something in you she was envious of! You mirrored back some guilt she might have felt/is feeling maybe?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-46319334288508023032009-01-31T17:13:00.000-08:002009-01-31T17:13:00.000-08:00Her snippiness is all about her, not about you. T...Her snippiness is all about her, not about you. The family/work balance stuff gets worked out year by year, decision by decision, and sometimes you need to go a little down a road in order to figure out what's right. That's what interviews and offers are all about. I'm glad you're happy with the decision you made--that's the important part.susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12000470374101306070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-36163048175239738732009-01-31T13:52:00.000-08:002009-01-31T13:52:00.000-08:00in our day and times, it is such a balancing act w...in our day and times, it is such a balancing act with family and work. i struggle with some of the choices myself, but always feel reassured when i read about other mamas like you, weighing the options and then finding the best choice for you and your family. go, great mama!mameshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11586918865232386537noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-34685067172619426982009-01-31T12:38:00.000-08:002009-01-31T12:38:00.000-08:00Good choice. Any choice that helps you achieve be...Good choice. Any choice that helps you achieve better balance and more time with the kids is a good one. Congrats--a tough decision indeed!Karynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00064133572478217155noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-47005750060331442582009-01-31T11:40:00.000-08:002009-01-31T11:40:00.000-08:00I'm struggling with a similar thing right now, and...I'm struggling with a similar thing right now, and trying to choose between two postdoctoral positions. Do I go with position A, which I *know* will be more hours, but is more prestigious and more inline with my career goals? Or do I stay where I am and do position B, which is more relaxed, flexible, but would not put me in as good a position for my career? Sigh. <BR/><BR/>The only thing I'm Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-48576581098008723142009-01-31T11:26:00.000-08:002009-01-31T11:26:00.000-08:00It seems like you made the right decision. It is ...It seems like you made the right decision. It is hard to be a grown up! I don't remember noticing it was so hard for my parents. Now, though, for me, it's very hard.JKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08307712040474297972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-75396612059046927192009-01-31T05:47:00.000-08:002009-01-31T05:47:00.000-08:00First off...sharing the Chipotle love! I was goin...First off...sharing the Chipotle love! I was going to write a comment giving my perspective from an HR standpoint, but then I saw that Melissa from Grafton said everything I would have (and probably more eloquent), so I'll leave it at that. <BR/><BR/>I do want to echo what she said about not second guessing. It's so clear to me from reading your blog (I sat down and read it from the Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-78781907851715943912009-01-31T05:18:00.000-08:002009-01-31T05:18:00.000-08:00Enjoy this time while you can! My girls are 13 an...Enjoy this time while you can! My girls are 13 and 8. My 8th grader gets picked up by the bus for school at 6:50 a.m Yes it's freaking outrageous, but that's public school for you. Next year in high school classes begin at 7:15 so the bus will come at 6:35 which means for her to have a shower (which she needs to wake-up), eat breakfast, do her hair and get dressed she will be up at 5 a.m. deb8ablehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08849323273321222535noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-48265927875502811432009-01-30T20:45:00.000-08:002009-01-30T20:45:00.000-08:00The kids come first for us too. Good for you for s...The kids come first for us too. Good for you for standing your ground and knowing what is right for you all. Long work days do not work with kids. Period. Just my opinion but is anything more worthy than time spent at home with our kids when they are so young?<BR/><BR/>Call me old fashioned! Family time so important while they are young. It is fleeting, sadly I can see that now with a near 16 amyinbchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01633627179582112435noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-550847811132315982009-01-30T20:37:00.000-08:002009-01-30T20:37:00.000-08:00I would think if MP was snippy instead of understa...I would think if MP was snippy instead of understanding, then she may have also been the kind of person to hang it over your head every chance she got that she had made those conessions to accommodate you, especially in situations where you needed a little more flex on days the kids were sick or what not.<BR/><BR/>Never regret decisions made to spend more time with your children. Time goes by toAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-67583702927533453232009-01-30T19:52:00.000-08:002009-01-30T19:52:00.000-08:00Oddly, I'm in a strikingly similar situation (sans...Oddly, I'm in a strikingly similar situation (sans an offer on the table) as my company is mid-buyout and my work is mindless and I have more downtime than I can handle. Other jobs in the same (or increased) salary range would have me commuting a good 30-45 minutes each way, which would cut into the 3 hours or so I get to spend with Jonah at night. Would it be worth it? Alas, since I mentionedAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-12159107288884113592009-01-30T18:21:00.000-08:002009-01-30T18:21:00.000-08:00This just gives you a glimpse into what it would h...This just gives you a glimpse into what it would have been like to work for MP. I don't understand why some women are totally inflexible with the demands of current working moms. There seems to be this mentality that they suffered and made it through so you should too. It makes me sick. I was once told by my female boss that my husband "should be pulling more weight at home" when I asked for Mama Mama Quite Contraryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09033437220422551511noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-72262872376767635072009-01-30T17:59:00.000-08:002009-01-30T17:59:00.000-08:00You're a great mom for choosing your kids over the...You're a great mom for choosing your kids over the job. My best friend had to make that decision ultimately too--a choice between working more and making more money but being stressed out or working less and making less but having more time with her family. She chose the latter and I can tell that she is more relaxed and happy than before. You made the right decision, so don't feel guilty Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08996018786058827824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-61508095839584171492009-01-30T17:44:00.000-08:002009-01-30T17:44:00.000-08:00You made the right choice. MP would never have ma...You made the right choice. MP would never have made you feel at ease if you needed time off for your kids, whatever the reason. And time with your kids is important, to them and to you. I think subconciously you AS WELL AS conciously you realized this.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-51833859777360795872009-01-30T16:54:00.000-08:002009-01-30T16:54:00.000-08:00Being in HR, I do understand the disappointment th...Being in HR, I do understand the disappointment that's felt when the top candidate turns down an offer. I'm certainly not excusing her snippiness, though -- sounds more than a bit unprofessional to me.<BR/><BR/>It sounds like, after a lot of consideration on your part, Snick, you just couldn't find a way to make that job fit into the life you want with your kids right now. I think you made the Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com