tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post139105812018265831..comments2024-03-20T01:12:06.791-07:00Comments on Snickollet: Toddler GriefSnickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-66346474501038939252009-10-04T16:39:02.783-07:002009-10-04T16:39:02.783-07:00I'm sorry I'm so, so late to this post: I...I'm sorry I'm so, so late to this post: I was told when my younger daughter died, that my older then-toddler daughter would "grow into her grief." And I believe that's exactly what's happening here with your kids, and you're handling it perfectly, according to my judgement, which probably isn't saying much. Honesty, straight-forwardness, answering when they Tashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07376651134993450207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-65890371147783396842009-10-02T11:18:17.252-07:002009-10-02T11:18:17.252-07:00Ugh. I am so sorry that you have to have this con...Ugh. I am so sorry that you have to have this conversation. It stinks, stinks, stinks. <br /><br />My kids are 3.5 now and we lost my dad a couple of months ago. They have been making the connection with things too - finding a dead mouse outside and asking if it was "dead like my Grandpa is dead." They also ask periodically if he is still dead and say that they miss him. C drew a Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-29802023364705745332009-10-02T07:43:44.183-07:002009-10-02T07:43:44.183-07:00I'm so sorry for all of you. I'm so glad ...I'm so sorry for all of you. I'm so glad you all have each other.Melinanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-29761552196862278222009-09-30T19:38:53.315-07:002009-09-30T19:38:53.315-07:00I was going to suggest the Dougy Center. I've...I was going to suggest the Dougy Center. I've known people who have gone there and it has been wonderful for them. <br /><br />I have been reading your blog for awhile and I, too, live in Portland so it has been fun to follow your journey. Thank you for sharing your life with us.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-40353389501717557572009-09-29T23:05:24.048-07:002009-09-29T23:05:24.048-07:00You are an amazing mom. For reals.You are an amazing mom. For reals.Mollyhttp://creationist-vapor-canopy.tumblr.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-58655532686047546352009-09-29T18:45:33.423-07:002009-09-29T18:45:33.423-07:00You precious, dear, loving Mother....you never cea...You precious, dear, loving Mother....you never cease to amaze me with your knowledge in learning day-by-day how to express your grief with your children. You are an EXCELLENT Mom. When Maddie & Riley are grown, they can only have mounds of love & respect for you in how you helped them deal with losing their Dad. I can't say this enough, John would be so very proud of you. Hang in Junehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02318147453535633966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-71791352716126732802009-09-29T17:11:47.051-07:002009-09-29T17:11:47.051-07:00I am a recent lurker of your blog. I am dealing wi...I am a recent lurker of your blog. I am dealing with my husbands deterioration due to a rare cancer and a newborn. I often wonder about losing your spouse suddenly or to the ugly disease, I don't think I can answer it but your are right it sucks either way!<br /><br />I wonder how I will cope and your story has helped me understand it a bit better. Thank you.<br />I think you are doing an ColourYourWorldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01869194928164916281noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-77341068206054480802009-09-29T16:38:23.937-07:002009-09-29T16:38:23.937-07:00Oh Snick, Oh. My kids are 9 and 11 and have had v...Oh Snick, Oh. My kids are 9 and 11 and have had very little experience with death. They have both grandparents on the paternal side, and my dad died years ago. The hard thing is that my mom was one of those Sooper Dooper grandmothers but began to deteriorate from Alzheimer's when they were 3 and 5, I guess. Now they see her as a lifeless lump in a wheelchair, staring at nothing, and I carolinagirl79https://www.blogger.com/profile/06284212448110505029noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-38227512693525585272009-09-29T16:11:41.157-07:002009-09-29T16:11:41.157-07:00You are doing a great job handling this with Maddi...You are doing a great job handling this with Maddie and Riley. <br /><br />My father died when I was 5, suddently, although he had been sick off and on with a bad heart, so not completely shocking.<br /><br />That was nearly 41 years ago. Such things were dealth with very differently. I went back to kindergarten after being out for however many days for my father's wake and funeral. As I Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-63950070520881171672009-09-29T13:48:15.296-07:002009-09-29T13:48:15.296-07:00http://www.winstonswish.org.uk/
i think you are o...http://www.winstonswish.org.uk/<br /><br />i think you are one amazing mum!<br /><br /> the above is a great website from a brilliant charity here in uk - is there a us equivalent? - who have lots of sensible advise and ideas re bereavement for children.<br /><br />hope it may help you. mags xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-41720633994598070962009-09-29T13:47:59.105-07:002009-09-29T13:47:59.105-07:00you are such a strong woman and such a good mama. ...you are such a strong woman and such a good mama. and i think you are teaching them by example that happy and sad can exist in one space. hugs.mameshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11586918865232386537noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-32596336659149562062009-09-29T12:59:26.762-07:002009-09-29T12:59:26.762-07:00You're such a great mom - I'm sorry that y...You're such a great mom - I'm sorry that you and the kiddos are having to deal with this. Their little minds have so much to figure out and deal with. I'm glad there are supports close to you - I hope they are a good fit for you and Maddie and Riley!Lyndsayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11191079605746896379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-10377263779845681042009-09-29T12:24:08.699-07:002009-09-29T12:24:08.699-07:00You are doing such a great job as a parent. No mat...You are doing such a great job as a parent. No matter how many bad days you may feel you have, overall your kids sound amazing and your relationship with them seems really healthy. I'm glad you have another easy-access resource and I'm so glad you're going to use it.<br /><br />Overall though, I wish you didn't need it...OTRgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12433339525588500502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-10285730272201656952009-09-29T12:13:44.209-07:002009-09-29T12:13:44.209-07:00Well, I think some reassurance is in order. You...Well, I think some reassurance is in order. You're handling this fine. And not just fine, actually, but bloody wonderfully.<br /><br />Kids ask questions, and in some ways perhaps this is just the beginning. It goes on. It's distressing for you, but although they can get upset from time to time, I don't think it's routinely distressing for them.<br /><br />Over time, my children Roadshttp://thepriceoflove.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-27850126784475700632009-09-29T12:07:08.091-07:002009-09-29T12:07:08.091-07:00Sounds like you're doing everything right, and...Sounds like you're doing everything right, and you remind me that Short Stack is now old enough for Grieving camp out here. I've heard great things about the Dougy Center!<br /><br />Maddie's quite advanced (as you know...). Shortie didn't understand the permanence, not even a little bit, until around 4. (I know you saw it, but if you want to go back, my detailed post is at http:/Supa Dupa Freshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07659738264922395349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-81826635369610495112009-09-29T11:54:37.854-07:002009-09-29T11:54:37.854-07:00Snick, I have read your blog for awhile now but I ...Snick, I have read your blog for awhile now but I think this is the first time I have ever posted anything. I highly encourage you to make that phone call to the Dougy Center. I am the Coordinator for the McClean Center in Mississippi that was based on the Dougy Center and their staff came out and trained our orginal staff 10 years ago. I think it will be helpful not only for M & R but clstiggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06644682404698962549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-71911025529919674852009-09-29T11:06:41.023-07:002009-09-29T11:06:41.023-07:00Oh, poor little Maddie! How do such little people ...Oh, poor little Maddie! How do such little people process such big feelings and concepts. I'm sure they grieve in some way, it's pretty incredible that she was able to get out some good tears about it.Sylviehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03977168100697698429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-50055289554170993422009-09-29T10:48:33.785-07:002009-09-29T10:48:33.785-07:00Awww, Snick; you're an amazing mother! ((hugs)...Awww, Snick; you're an amazing mother! ((hugs))<br /><br />My mum sent us to the Dougy Center after my father passed away. Unlike Maddie and Riley, we had been just old enough to understand what was going on through-out his short illness, but not really old enough (Is anyone ever old enough?) to deal with it well. The Dougy Center made a huge difference in our lives. I hope it will help you,Lalshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16060253440799634080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-2514820385882544712009-09-29T10:02:05.228-07:002009-09-29T10:02:05.228-07:00Yeah, I have a friend who talks about 'differe...Yeah, I have a friend who talks about 'different flavors of Suck' to describe different widow situations, and that about sums it up. <br /><br />We have dealt with our children in a similar way. Sometimes the stuff that Nathan comes out with takes my breath away. I am waiting for him to be old enough to do some 'official' counseling, groups, whatever (he is now 4 1/2). In the django's mommynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-85958287104761838572009-09-29T09:44:59.855-07:002009-09-29T09:44:59.855-07:00My guess is that the kids will have to come to ter...My guess is that the kids will have to come to terms with their dad's death at each developmental stage, so I imagine you'll repeat that basic scene many times. And it sounds like you handled it beautifully. <br /><br />Bless you!<br /><br />ShelleyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-69394924474806971192009-09-29T09:36:04.662-07:002009-09-29T09:36:04.662-07:00I just wanted to send you some virtual hugs and sa...I just wanted to send you some virtual hugs and say that I think it's great you are going to call the center and get help. They are the experts and will hopefully help you all learn how to go through this together. <br /><br />I wish I had better words or support. I do think you are doing a fantastic job raising your kids!caramamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-86940826373689121792009-09-29T09:32:40.527-07:002009-09-29T09:32:40.527-07:00Crying at work. I don't know how you do it, b...Crying at work. I don't know how you do it, but you do it with such courage and compassion. Your kids are lucky to have you.Christanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-66650723858791755362009-09-29T09:19:14.367-07:002009-09-29T09:19:14.367-07:00I never comment, but I always read. And now I'...I never comment, but I always read. And now I'm crying. Children are beautiful, and their understanding of things can be so enlightening and heart wrenching. Keep parenting and living the way you do, and all will be good. They will remember John with you.Daniellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03495160328587538768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-53274541173595690732009-09-29T08:48:13.917-07:002009-09-29T08:48:13.917-07:00What a powerful entry. My son was 4 when my fathe...What a powerful entry. My son was 4 when my father passed away and he ended up comforting me - its amazing what children are capable of - even mature emotions when dealing with death. My heart and thoughts are with you all - you are very strong - and together you all will get through this!LadyBughttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17842176319914397953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-54032614458427129212009-09-29T08:45:15.317-07:002009-09-29T08:45:15.317-07:00I'm so sorry that you, M and R have to go thro...I'm so sorry that you, M and R have to go through this. It sounds incredibly hard.Ameliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10483756694695666215noreply@blogger.com