tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post114252370357276496..comments2024-03-20T01:12:06.791-07:00Comments on Snickollet: ResentmentSnickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-1142837786505410842006-03-19T22:56:00.000-08:002006-03-19T22:56:00.000-08:00I'm sorry that you have to go through all this. I ...I'm sorry that you have to go through all this. I wish there was something I could do. Just know we're here to offer support.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-1142608632717150012006-03-17T07:17:00.000-08:002006-03-17T07:17:00.000-08:00I wish I had something helpful to say here. Your o...I wish I had something helpful to say here. Your other readers (an expanding network!) obviously have more experience and insight into this arena.<BR/><BR/>So I will just say that I am thinking of you both and wishing things were different for you. <BR/><BR/>And that I love you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-1142608333114923102006-03-17T07:12:00.000-08:002006-03-17T07:12:00.000-08:00Oh, Snick. This post rings so familiar.After year...Oh, Snick. This post rings so familiar.<BR/><BR/>After years of sharing the household duties, I too was overwhelmed (and at times, I'll admit, a little resentful) when the burden of <B>everything</B> -- from cooking, to cleaning, parenting, and so on -- shifted entirely to me. I would joke to Mr. Badger, "Oh, it must be my turn to do dishes" when it'd been "my turn" for months on end.<BR/><BR/>Badgerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04440464453242216489noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-1142606742866698062006-03-17T06:45:00.000-08:002006-03-17T06:45:00.000-08:00I remember going through something similar when my...I remember going through something similar when my FIL was sick. I felt resentful that my husband wasn't available to help me with my (very needy) new baby, and at the same time guilty for being resentful. It was tough because we needed to support each other, but neither of us had the emotional reserves to do it.<BR/><BR/>I also really identify with your wish for the "normal" life that your weigook saramhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03312246589337379863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-1142573884552240492006-03-16T21:38:00.000-08:002006-03-16T21:38:00.000-08:00Ouch, ouch, ouch. I know exactly what you mean, an...Ouch, ouch, ouch. I know exactly what you mean, and you are exactly right about how gender roles play into the illness/resentment thing. With my husband, it was his laptop--the one I am typing on right now. His "time-waster" became the one thing he was never too tired to do, and even when I hated myself for it, I resented the fact that it took him away from my daughter and me. Only now do I Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07829089563990675253noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-1142568653745381472006-03-16T20:10:00.000-08:002006-03-16T20:10:00.000-08:00Well, shit. I'm really sorry. On all the levels....Well, shit. I'm really sorry. On all the levels. You are human and you're going to react, but I can imagine that it's not very satisfying under these circumstances. Wish I could help. Hope ranting is a bit of an outlet here. Thinking of you, kindly, as always.Yankee, Transferredhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06627693160131161133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-1142534990552707892006-03-16T10:49:00.000-08:002006-03-16T10:49:00.000-08:00That's so hard. Yuck.I didn't have the same issue ...That's so hard. Yuck.<BR/><BR/>I didn't have the same issue in terms of illness as a factor, but being married to a medical student/resident/oncology fellow meant that scenario played out over and over and over for us. It's only now that he's back in research and not so emotionally/physically drained that he's started to volunteer to do much. So, for 8 years I paid all the bills, did all the OTRgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12433339525588500502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-1142531075471684512006-03-16T09:44:00.000-08:002006-03-16T09:44:00.000-08:00I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know it...I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know it must be hard. Just remember this isn't a contest about who feels more tired -- you need to take care of yourself too. Maybe it's worth asking a friend to help you out when you need it? If I were your friend irl, I'd be thrilled to have a way to help you. (P.S. Picture hanging isn't a necessity, no matter how important it seems. REST!)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-1142526234621785822006-03-16T08:23:00.000-08:002006-03-16T08:23:00.000-08:00Oh, Snick. How I feel your pain. Overwhelming fati...Oh, Snick. How I feel your pain. Overwhelming fatigue is part of lupus, even when it's in remission, so my husband has to learn to pace himself. He pushes himself too much, then he conks out on the couch. I'm talking sleeping like the dead. And after his treatments, he's exhausted for days. I miss him. He tries really hard for everything to be like it was before, but it isn't. And he has to take Christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06784439635697216521noreply@blogger.com