tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post1128513047007354342..comments2024-03-20T01:12:06.791-07:00Comments on Snickollet: ReadinessSnickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-67509898833690546992008-08-25T11:16:00.000-07:002008-08-25T11:16:00.000-07:00There's so much in this post that it's hard to eve...There's so much in this post that it's hard to even respond. I'm just nodding at everything you said.You are so amazingly self-aware.<BR/><BR/>And boy, do I know that Peace Corps loneliness well. It's amazing what it does to you, and how much you learn about yourself.Keenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01408342210540348611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-56880001840282075562008-08-22T07:44:00.000-07:002008-08-22T07:44:00.000-07:00You look great. Seriously. Look at the pics of y...You look great. Seriously. Look at the pics of you with the kids. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are doing an awesome job in a very difficult situation. Having kids is tough with 2 parents and you are doing it without a partner. I didn't know John but from what you have written about him, I think that he would 1) think that you were doing an AWESOME job and 2) want you to be happy and Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-28771466383646727902008-08-21T18:17:00.000-07:002008-08-21T18:17:00.000-07:00Ahhh Snick. I met my husband on line (in a chat ro...Ahhh Snick. I met my husband on line (in a chat room). At the time I was helping care for an ex boyfriend who was dying of cancer. It was the worst of times. It was the best of times. Ten years later I am grateful. Grateful that I had that special time with Chris before he died. And grateful, incredibly grateful, that the man in my life now is there because I took a risk and agreed to meet him. <Pixxieehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00754587423106234555noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-78701047342867418022008-08-21T13:15:00.000-07:002008-08-21T13:15:00.000-07:00This is going to sound weird, I know, but a year o...This is going to sound weird, I know, but a year or two ago, I watched an episode of Shalom in the Home (with Rabbi Schmuley).<BR/><BR/>A 36-year-old woman had lost her husband in a car accident, leaving her and her two children alone.<BR/><BR/>I wish I could somehow link to the episode because the advice that he gave to this woman during his stay with her ... the way he helped her ... was simplykhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06249637115549429234noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-71228555637885529402008-08-21T10:51:00.000-07:002008-08-21T10:51:00.000-07:00PLEASE PLEASE can we go out for girliness together...PLEASE PLEASE can we go out for girliness together? Shopping, new hairstyle, etc. You know I love that stuff. Maybe you should try my fab hair salon. It is expensive but my hair has never looked better, and no one deserves fabulous hair more than you. IMO, spend the money on the hair and get the clothes at TJ Maxx. I will be your Tim Gunn (or hey, your Heidi Klum, ha ha). You are totally date- Ginevrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10283809041547731642noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-643652730739813982008-08-21T10:48:00.000-07:002008-08-21T10:48:00.000-07:00I met my husband though an online dating site, so ...I met my husband though an online dating site, so I am a proponent. I think it's great that you took even a baby step! I will offer some assvice here, I can't even pretend to understand the tough times you've gone through but it sounds like you are in need of a little boost to your confidence and self-esteem. Since you like to exercise, maybe some sort of event like a road race or triathlon? suzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04308934078733746979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-15451523677035419222008-08-21T08:04:00.000-07:002008-08-21T08:04:00.000-07:00Snick,I remember reading some research about how p...Snick,<BR/>I remember reading some research about how people who loved being married get re-married quickly (on average) - more quickly than others who were not as into being married - after the death of a spouse. I KNOW you are talking about dating here, and not marriage, but I remember really liking that research, thinking that if I died, I'd look down and see my husband re-married because he Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13251900592095094189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-81687018116974948772008-08-21T07:30:00.000-07:002008-08-21T07:30:00.000-07:00I met my husband on a Christian online dating serv...I met my husband on a Christian online dating service. I say go for it. As I tell people, "they are not all axe murderers online!"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-42281944641416218772008-08-20T21:51:00.000-07:002008-08-20T21:51:00.000-07:00The weird thing about love is that you never reall...The weird thing about love is that you never really feel like you deserve it. Doesn't matter if you're divorced or widowed, cover-girl beautiful or not, young or old, parent or childless. You never feel like you deserve it when someone really, really loves you. You never really know exactly what that other person sees. Since you can't feel exactly what they might feel and since you can't see Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-58969695185187778122008-08-20T20:53:00.000-07:002008-08-20T20:53:00.000-07:00Go with the ego boost :) Baby step it as you feel ...Go with the ego boost :) Baby step it as you feel fit. Be good to yourself, do nice things for YOU. You deserve it.<BR/><BR/>I am sure the guilt you feel is natural in your situation. But as you said I am sure John would want you to be loved and cherished once more.<BR/><BR/>You will know when you are ready.amyinbchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01633627179582112435noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-19824077563643014952008-08-20T20:43:00.000-07:002008-08-20T20:43:00.000-07:00Another thought, and one you do have to be ready f...Another thought, and one you do have to be ready for...<BR/><BR/>As ego lifting as it is to get attention to your profile from men and have a few first dates, and it really is, dating is very hard. You have to put yourself out there and be ready to be rejected for no good reason over and over and over. And be ready to be disappointed when the guy who looked great on paper and was fantastic on watercolordaisyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08918878832628412824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-7536412353240622562008-08-20T20:27:00.000-07:002008-08-20T20:27:00.000-07:00Have you considered something like table for 6, or...Have you considered something like table for 6, or Just lunch. It's not actual dating the company organizes the affair and you, yourself an you show up to meet 5 other people (3 men/3women) a young widow friend of mine tried it and got some good results.winecathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07033530470009978632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-88463201989818806172008-08-20T20:11:00.000-07:002008-08-20T20:11:00.000-07:00Good luck with whatever you decided. If it gives ...Good luck with whatever you decided. If it gives you a smile then it will be worth it.<BR/><BR/>Take careSoralishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10134991337688208295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-87869371476335536882008-08-20T20:02:00.000-07:002008-08-20T20:02:00.000-07:00I think paying the $$ would be a nice way for you ...I think paying the $$ would be a nice way for you to try "dating" out as slowly as you would like to go. You don't even have to MEET anyone.....you can get your kicks from email for a long time until you are ready for a face-to-face.<BR/><BR/>That being said, I don't want to be a wet blanket, but please also be careful. There are many men out there trolling dating sites for single moms with Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-90345702342669121612008-08-20T19:50:00.000-07:002008-08-20T19:50:00.000-07:00I'm a gambling woman by nature and truly believe t...I'm a gambling woman by nature and truly believe that the cash will be thrown in the direction of the internet service if only because it's a safer and easier method of "practicing" with the whole dating possibility.<BR/><BR/>Therapy. *sigh*<BR/>I love therapy. I liken that weekly hour to a hit on a crack pipe for a junkie. For real.Mouthy Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13390913450937641605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-9545151119505472212008-08-20T18:54:00.000-07:002008-08-20T18:54:00.000-07:00The one thing that I learned when I stepped out in...The one thing that I learned when I stepped out in to the dating world after my divorce was this...<BR/><BR/>Even though I was angry, sad, broken, and thought no one could love me and my kids that there are people out there that stop take the time to know you, even if you are broken.<BR/><BR/>IT isn't easy stepping out on the ledge, and it sure as hell isnt easy letting someone else in to your tropicalg77https://www.blogger.com/profile/18033718736916800218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-3587768365310631112008-08-20T18:53:00.000-07:002008-08-20T18:53:00.000-07:00I'm curious - and I understand if you do not want ...I'm curious - and I understand if you do not want to answer this - if you ever talked about this with John. I recently had a death in my family and it has sparked all kinds of deep conversations in our household. My husband keeps bringing up (directly and indirectly) that he would expect for me to "go on" and "meet someone" etc, etc. The whole concept makes me uncomfortable to discuss but at the Cynthiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06088635344095630360noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-76013572860724257252008-08-20T17:59:00.000-07:002008-08-20T17:59:00.000-07:00All the feelings you are feeling right now are exa...All the feelings you are feeling right now are exactly what most women feel who are raising children and trying to work - even if we have a spouse to share it with. I think when the kids are so young that they take all of your attention & there really isn't time or energy to worry about yourself right now. I'm sure it is even harder since you are a single parent & you have 2 Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-37620496229425077632008-08-20T17:58:00.000-07:002008-08-20T17:58:00.000-07:00Snick...i understand about the not feeling lovable...Snick...i understand about the not feeling lovable completely. But others see things in you that you can't possibly see right now. Ever actually. I feel that way too. My sitch is different - after being divorced - I don't know if I can ever be loved again or if anyone will forever want to choose me again and that scares the hell out of me. I try not to think about. But I know one thing from Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-7021507847578231092008-08-20T17:50:00.000-07:002008-08-20T17:50:00.000-07:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.k&phttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08451746692866632928noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-1968103787482300432008-08-20T15:30:00.000-07:002008-08-20T15:30:00.000-07:00Wow - there's a lot of wisdom in these comments. I...Wow - there's a lot of wisdom in these comments. I especially agreed with Rachel and second her thoughts. <BR/><BR/>But - as if you didn't already have enough to think about, here's something else: are you the type of person who needs a push? I'm usually a procrastinator and will dip my toe in the water way too long, but every so often, someone gives me a push and I just dive in. Thinking back, IAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-42740533084057679862008-08-20T14:56:00.000-07:002008-08-20T14:56:00.000-07:00The road to happiness is paved with impulsivity.The road to happiness is paved with impulsivity.BrooklynGirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07659760098982933000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-35141452604757730472008-08-20T14:48:00.000-07:002008-08-20T14:48:00.000-07:00I know this is not the same but...I struggled with...I know this is not the same but...<BR/><BR/>I struggled with the desire to have more children after my daughter passed away. At first I too thought that overwhelming feeling was missing her. And it was. But I was also missing being a mom. Despite the guilty feelings, we decided to start the adoption process. Our son was born a little over 9 months after our daughter died. While I still missLorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15410002407855752531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-10127411916965283052008-08-20T14:47:00.000-07:002008-08-20T14:47:00.000-07:00Someone told me once: "You need to find the perso...Someone told me once: "You need to find the person that will love you while you love someone else." That guy does exist and you'll know him when you spend time with him and he is just what you need and patient that your love will turn toward him in your time. LelaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-63946204488730096322008-08-20T14:17:00.000-07:002008-08-20T14:17:00.000-07:00I'm glad you were able to explore the root of the ...I'm glad you were able to explore the root of the impulse during therapy. Somehow, there's less to stew about when you identify the motivation. <BR/><BR/>It's not the same, but a friend who walked with me post-Mom lost her Mom to cancer two years before I did. Her father married within eight months and her family never really got to grieve. Grief takes time. <BR/><BR/>Your impulse makes SO much OTRgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12433339525588500502noreply@blogger.com